Originally Posted by barkingspider
Been married for 5 years, started out good, went bad, tried to save it but it appears we are unable to. We don't have any children together (thank goodness). About a month ago, we both agreed that our relationship is toxic and it's best we divorce. We both have attorneys but haven't pulled the trigger on filing. Well, after today, I'm filing 1st thing tomorrow. We cannot go 60 seconds w out arguing. She's convinced that I'm 100% at fault and only I have to change. (I accept responsibility for my part of this toxic marriage but no way am I 100%). This is my 1st and most likely only marriage. It's her 3rd. At first I was embarrassed and felt like a failure but after this passed month, I think I've made peace w parting ways. I know this process sucks, expensive, emotional roller coaster, and is life changing, not looking fwd to it, but we both deserve to be happy(apart). I have 2 buddies that recently got divorced after 20 yrs of marriage and multiple children, so my situation is chump change compared to theirs. Both say that I'll be okay after the initial hurt and just take the time to heal. Any other advice is appreciated.
Without reading previous posts:
Been where you are. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Divorce can be ugly or not...if you are already agreed as to how to divide property, both have worked and nobody is going after the other for anything, you can utilize the same attorney and it will go faster and easier. Don't have to go meet the atty together either, they can meet each of you separately and if you say pretty much the same things they'll draw up the paperwork for both of you to sign.
If things are contested, my advice would be to not give up anything more than the law requires - and she WILL ask or even demand certain things. Just tell your atty the answer is no to requests beyond the law.
Either way, remember that although this is the first (and hopefully only) time you do this, it isn't the same for the attorney - in most cases he or she is not insensitive to your situation, it's just that it is "just business as usual" for them.
The paperwork can be over in 6 months. Might take a bit longer for you to get back to normal - it's hard to go from trusting someone 100% but you'll see it more clearly as the process goes on.