Filing for divorce

Status
Not open for further replies.
Originally Posted by GMFan
OP, sorry to hear about your troubles. I'm 31 and single so can't speak to any suggestions on what to do. Out of curiosity, did anything in your gut tell you or make you sometimes think that she wasn't the right woman before you married her? Marriage scares the heck out of me because of the horror stories I hear - even sometimes the woman is completely normal and then after marriage it goes down the drain. Did you live with her for a while and if so did it reveal anything?

(edit - mod) Three fingers pointing back at me.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Originally Posted by Linctex
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
Originally Posted by CT8
You would be surprised how vicious women are.


Not after what happened to my cousin. His wife coldly, and with months of planning, destroyed his life overnight and drove him to suicide.


Not quite.... but almost as bad. Mine did not destroy me overnight - - she was 'kind enough" to give me some warning.

I, too - - thought of eating a bullet - - many, many times. I made it through, but just barely.


In 12 hours, she rendered him homeless, literally penniless (less than a dollar to his name), and destroyed the career he had been working toward since he was ten years old. He washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with a fifth of Jack Daniels 4 days before Christmas.
Originally Posted by Linctex
Originally Posted by spasm3

No, but her friends and lawyer might be that kind of person.


YES - - - and ALL THE DIVORCE HELP FOR WOMEN PAGES ONLINE will be telling her to do all of the same horrible things!


My sister's LAWYER suggested she say her husband hit her.

She got a new lawyer.
 
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
In 12 hours, she rendered him homeless, literally penniless (less than a dollar to his name), and destroyed the career he had been working toward since he was ten years old. He washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with a fifth of Jack Daniels 4 days before Christmas.


That's pretty vicious.

This one is too, woman pressured her husband to have a vasectomy and then after it was done, told him she was going to divorce him. He was of course a little upset afterwards but she felt it was for his own good.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/02/...ve-a-vasectomy-before-you-ditch-him.html
 
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
She coached his daughter to accuse him of molesting her. IIRC, the girl was eight years old.


That also happened to a BITOG member. Luckily he wasn't arrested and ex wife couldn't get him locked up.
 
Originally Posted by Mr Nice
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
She coached his daughter to accuse him of molesting her. IIRC, the girl was eight years old.


That also happened to a BITOG member. Luckily he wasn't arrested and ex wife couldn't get him locked up.


Evil knows no gender
 
Married 31 years here. No arguments, no drama, no significant problems. I truly adore my wife and more than anything want things to return to normal.

However, some time ago, she decided something along these lines: "you can't have me, but you can't have somebody else".

Marriage........ ugh. Never again. I don't see the up side.
 
Originally Posted by Cujet
Married 31 years here. No arguments, no drama, no significant problems. I truly adore my wife and more than anything want things to return to normal.

However, some time ago, she decided something along these lines: "you can't have me, but you can't have somebody else".

Marriage........ ugh. Never again. I don't see the up side.



I'm sorry but that's an awful way to live. Don't stand for that. If a relationship is one sided, it needs to be ended and is toxic.
 
Originally Posted by jeepman3071
Originally Posted by Cujet
Married 31 years here. No arguments, no drama, no significant problems. I truly adore my wife and more than anything want things to return to normal.

However, some time ago, she decided something along these lines: "you can't have me, but you can't have somebody else".

Marriage........ ugh. Never again. I don't see the up side.



I'm sorry but that's an awful way to live. Don't stand for that. If a relationship is one sided, it needs to be ended and is toxic.


Indeed...wow.
 
Originally Posted by Wolf359
Jarlaxle said:
In 12 hours, she rendered him homeless, literally penniless (less than a dollar to his name), and destroyed the career he had been working toward since he was ten years old. He washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with a fifth of Jack Daniels 4 days before Christmas.


I think I would have had to take her with me.
 
Originally Posted by wtd
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
In 12 hours, she rendered him homeless, literally penniless (less than a dollar to his name), and destroyed the career he had been working toward since he was ten years old. He washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with a fifth of Jack Daniels 4 days before Christmas.


I think I would have had to take her with me.


That's the difference between homicidal and suicidal.
 
The best thing you can do is to live a long healthy life and be happy that she is not in your life anymore. We men need to do more to reach out to our brothers in pain.
 
Originally Posted by Cujet
Married 31 years here. No arguments, no drama, no significant problems. I truly adore my wife and more than anything want things to return to normal.

However, some time ago, she decided something along these lines: "you can't have me, but you can't have somebody else".

Marriage........ ugh. Never again. I don't see the up side.



What in the Hades?

I have a strict policy against telling people what to do with their romantic relationships. But please ask yourself the questions:

*Do I deserve this?
*Do I deserve better than this?

You're a smart person. You know what you should do after answering those two questions.
 
Originally Posted by stockrex
The best thing you can do is to live a long healthy life and be happy that she is not in your life anymore. We men need to do more to reach out to our brothers in pain.


One day something is going to be done about the fact that our gender receives a huge amount of programming that encourages us to fester in our problems, never ask for help, and that we become better and tougher men by just standing by and watching stuff collapse on top of our heads.

Life is meant to be lived. Not stoically endured.
 
Originally Posted by wtd
Originally Posted by Wolf359
Jarlaxle said:
In 12 hours, she rendered him homeless, literally penniless (less than a dollar to his name), and destroyed the career he had been working toward since he was ten years old. He washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with a fifth of Jack Daniels 4 days before Christmas.


I think I would have had to take her with me.


He didn't want to leave his daughter an orphan. He explained that in his suicide note. (More of a letter...I recall it was 4 pages.)
 
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
Originally Posted by wtd
Originally Posted by Wolf359
Jarlaxle said:
In 12 hours, she rendered him homeless, literally penniless (less than a dollar to his name), and destroyed the career he had been working toward since he was ten years old. He washed down a bottle of sleeping pills with a fifth of Jack Daniels 4 days before Christmas.


I think I would have had to take her with me.


He didn't want to leave his daughter an orphan. He explained that in his suicide note. (More of a letter...I recall it was 4 pages.)

I can understand that. Definitely a bad situation. I don't think he did his daughter any favors by leaving her with a woman like that. She may teach her daughter to be just like her. Suicide is a selfish act and most people who do it don't think of every one it effects that is left behind. My uncle did it, leaving behind a wife and two kids, one of which was only 6 months old.
 
Originally Posted by barkingspider
Been married for 5 years, started out good, went bad, tried to save it but it appears we are unable to. We don't have any children together (thank goodness). About a month ago, we both agreed that our relationship is toxic and it's best we divorce. We both have attorneys but haven't pulled the trigger on filing. Well, after today, I'm filing 1st thing tomorrow. We cannot go 60 seconds w out arguing. She's convinced that I'm 100% at fault and only I have to change. (I accept responsibility for my part of this toxic marriage but no way am I 100%). This is my 1st and most likely only marriage. It's her 3rd. At first I was embarrassed and felt like a failure but after this passed month, I think I've made peace w parting ways. I know this process sucks, expensive, emotional roller coaster, and is life changing, not looking fwd to it, but we both deserve to be happy(apart). I have 2 buddies that recently got divorced after 20 yrs of marriage and multiple children, so my situation is chump change compared to theirs. Both say that I'll be okay after the initial hurt and just take the time to heal. Any other advice is appreciated.


Without reading previous posts:

Been where you are. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Divorce can be ugly or not...if you are already agreed as to how to divide property, both have worked and nobody is going after the other for anything, you can utilize the same attorney and it will go faster and easier. Don't have to go meet the atty together either, they can meet each of you separately and if you say pretty much the same things they'll draw up the paperwork for both of you to sign.

If things are contested, my advice would be to not give up anything more than the law requires - and she WILL ask or even demand certain things. Just tell your atty the answer is no to requests beyond the law.

Either way, remember that although this is the first (and hopefully only) time you do this, it isn't the same for the attorney - in most cases he or she is not insensitive to your situation, it's just that it is "just business as usual" for them.

The paperwork can be over in 6 months. Might take a bit longer for you to get back to normal - it's hard to go from trusting someone 100% but you'll see it more clearly as the process goes on.
 
Addition to my previous post: After some thought all that might not work for your situation since arguments happen all the time so-- You can go to an attorney, get paperwork set up that says what is yours is yours and what is hers is hers (vehicles, retirement accounts, other accounts including credit cards) and who gets what furniture/music/other property. This will get sent to her and if she signs off you are good to go.
 
Originally Posted by jeepman3071
Originally Posted by Cujet
Married 31 years here. No arguments, no drama, no significant problems. I truly adore my wife and more than anything want things to return to normal.

However, some time ago, she decided something along these lines: "you can't have me, but you can't have somebody else".

Marriage........ ugh. Never again. I don't see the up side.



I'm sorry but that's an awful way to live. Don't stand for that. If a relationship is one sided, it needs to be ended and is toxic.


Well he has 31 yrs invested and you can bet that from a financial perspective he'll lose half of his assets.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top