Weird modifications or car hacks

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Hi all,

As a state emissions inspector I get the gamut Almost brand new to vehicles way past their prime. My question for you is has anyone seen (attempted) anything like this. I had a guy show up recently and his exhaust was cut-off under the cab (always on older lifted Chevy trucks). We couldn't test it due to the location. Now he had flexible dryer vent in the bed of his truck which he attached using bailing wire and a prayer, hoping that it wouldn't burst into flames. I had another guy show up with a early 90's Chevy S10 with an old rag in the gas filler hole as his gas cap. We said no test go get a proper gas cap. Anyone else have any amusing stories?
 
Nothing surprises me any more. Most memorable was a guy had leaking ac hoses. He cut them off and replaced them with heater hose. Then he expected me to charge the system. He even tried to argue about it.
 
My F150 custom (poverty) exhaust exits under the bed just rear of the cab. The cat leads to a few inches of pipe then a Thrush muffler and a downpipe.

As long as it's to the rear of the "passenger compartment" it's legal. Luckily noone has to crawl underneath it to probe it.
 
Once when I was inspecting cars at the Canadian border when this cooter looking dude drive up in an old Caprice going to florida. He doesnt look right to me so in he goes for inspection. I ended up being relieved and got to go in and look his stuff over for myself. I put the car up on the lift and notice the gas tank straps were modified and out of place.. I’m thinking I just found a big load of Coke or cash until I get a really good look at it . No dope ruining mule just a moron with a flair for fixing his own stuff. He had that 20 plus gallon tank held on with dog chain from someplace like Wally mart. Not heavy duty big dog chain either . It was the same stuff our mutt spaniel used to snap when I was a kid. We sent him packing back to Canada with his stupidity . Darwin candidate.
I had another schmuck show up much like the other guy. A few years later. I look down and when he grabs for his ID he lays the steering wheel in his lap. The tilt mechanism was all busted out and it wonked all over the place.. He was such a goof anyways I had him escorted in and drove his car over to the inspection area 200’ away. Holy crap it was all I could do to just get that thing fitted into a big area 3 cars wide without running into something. This all at 10 mph. This idiot was planning on driving someplace at least a couple states away probably florida, priceless. I wouldn’t have driven that thing around the block let alone busy fast traffic. He got sent back to Canada too.
Ahhh, one more. One day i get stuck on a day shift in January , its light flurries and about 15 - 20 F in a stiff wind. Someone on the highway sends in a Canadian guy on a motorcycle, some form of “ crotch rocket”. Not a Harley with a big shield and plug in heated suit , something like a Ninja and hes wearing leathers.. I have two help pry the guy off the bike and he stiffly wobbles inside. Destination ...........oh yea Florida. He readily agreed he didn’t stand a snowballs chance in [censored] of getting there on that bike. He said he thought he could just take it easy and tough it out till he got to someplace fairy warm. When I told him that would probably be Maryland he decided it was a good idea to warm up a while and carefully head back to Montreal.

 
This is my Camry. I got rear-ended in March 2016. I hammered out the back left corner for a couple minutes, long enough to stick a junk yard tail light on, only 1 of the 3 bolts holding it on.

It passed inspection! They did say to cut the sharp corner of the plastic bumper off though, so I did. That was after I took this picture.

 
I saw a photo somewhere if a guy using 2x4's as lift blocks. I believe they were non treated as well.
 
Pal used orange, woven straps from Harbor Freight ratchet straps to hold up his gas tank.
Purchase point 1 was up where the originals were affixed. Then simply basketed the tank and secured to fabricated hooks at the box's gunwale.
He crossed them under the tank (nice effect).
 
You can still see occasionally the mod where someone makes a wagon or "ute" / El Camino / Ranchero type pickup bed out of a sedan or hatchback. You can still see the Corvette mod that makes a hatch out of a perfectly good 'Vette, they even sell kits to perform that abomination. Just because it's possible to perform that mod with good paint and smooth 'glass doesn't make it right.

 
I wrecked my 1970 Grand Prix at college, 1000 miles from home--a drunk hit me in the right front while I was making a left turn.

I had it towed to my regular campus parking lot. My girlfriend's father was retired, liked to stay busy, and was kind enough to drive several hours to help me out. I helped him replace a broken ball joint, or maybe it was the whole control arm, and he tin-snipped off the mangled fender.

The radiator was leaking and twisted a little. I took it to a radiator shop and asked them to patch the leaks but leave the core as it was, since it was a custom fit. I think I had to rig up a turn signal and at least one of the right headlights, too. The car made it home with no problems in the spring, and I pulled the powertrain for a transplant.

On the way, a gas station cashier said he was going to compliment my car until he saw me reach through the fender to check the oil. Of course, it was also dark so he didn't notice the rust.

By the way, 97prizm, what was the dryer vent for? I remember Roadkill using that for intake plumbing once. As a matter of fact, a lot of their work would fit this thread.
 
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Originally Posted By: dlundblad
I saw a photo somewhere if a guy using 2x4's as lift blocks. I believe they were non treated as well.


That should be OK, assuming its fairly good timber. I'd say ash for choice, for its shock-resistance.

I did a temporary exhaust fix using portland cement, wire, (unfortunately not chicken wire, which I couldn't find) and mud from a local volcano a while ago. I understand its a hydraulic mud produced by relative movement across a fault. Makes a very fine aggregate.

Passed inspection, but broke later so I had a slightly used exhaust fitted.

I've done sort-of-structural (chassis outrigger) body repairs using ferrocement techniques and passed the uber-anal UK MOT inspection, which is quite a lot more challenging.

If its good enough for sailboats....
 
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A few years ago I would regularly see a hack repair of a 10-15yo Camry parked at the hospital that I work at. I took some photos but they are lost in my old flip phone. This car had been rear-ended with heavy damage to the entire rear end up to the wheel arches. The owner ( I suppose) cut off the most crumpled parts with a torch, then fabricated an entire shortened rear section with bungee-d down trunk lid out of steel diamond plate sloppily welded together along with a bumper made of a 2 x 4 and some trailer lights cobbled in. This vehicle, by the way, was parked in our restricted access Doctor's lot.
 
Originally Posted By: Stag
A few years ago I would regularly see a hack repair of a 10-15yo Camry parked at the hospital that I work at. I took some photos but they are lost in my old flip phone. This car had been rear-ended with heavy damage to the entire rear end up to the wheel arches. The owner ( I suppose) cut off the most crumpled parts with a torch, then fabricated an entire shortened rear section with bungee-d down trunk lid out of steel diamond plate sloppily welded together along with a bumper made of a 2 x 4 and some trailer lights cobbled in. This vehicle, by the way, was parked in our restricted access Doctor's lot.


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Originally Posted By: Stag
A few years ago I would regularly see a hack repair of a 10-15yo Camry parked at the hospital that I work at. I took some photos but they are lost in my old flip phone. This car had been rear-ended with heavy damage to the entire rear end up to the wheel arches. The owner ( I suppose) cut off the most crumpled parts with a torch, then fabricated an entire shortened rear section with bungee-d down trunk lid out of steel diamond plate sloppily welded together along with a bumper made of a 2 x 4 and some trailer lights cobbled in. This vehicle, by the way, was parked in our restricted access Doctor's lot.


My opinion of the medical profession grudgingly moves up a notch.

Plastic surgeon?
 
Probably not exactly the right kind of thing but this comes to mind...
My brother, dad and I used to have a huge commercial building in an industrial park surrounded by a low income area. We had a big front section that we only used to store junk so we cleared it out and put it up for rent. These guys from some Caribbean Island country rented it to do auto repair. These guys were BUSY but most of the work they did was a little scary.
One Saturday, after they had closed, a young guy shows up in my lobby asking if I know how to get a hold of them. I did not and asked if everything was ok. He said I don't know, are you a mechanic? I went out and looked under his hood, a 4 cyl efi car, maybe a Camry or whatever... This was twenty plus years ago. Anyway, gasoling was spewing out from the O ring connection where the fuel pressure regulator was slipped on the fuel rail. It had obviously been installed dry and ripped the O ring. Guy wanted to know if the car was safe to take on a date. I said yeah, if you don't mind bein' a crispy critter. I was amazed he made it to my shop. We looked through our parts room for a suitable O ring, being that we specialized in Cats, we had a full stock. Nothing was right. My brother at the time was messing around with a 2.2 Chrysler in a Daytona (remember those?)
and went and pulled the regulator off the engine he had on a stand. We installed it on the guy's car with a dab of Murphy's oil soap and it worked like a charm. I still to this day don't know how they let that car go out the door like that.
 
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