"Spin" Your Own Movie Review

[GrtArtiste]

Title: "The Wizard Of Oz"

A dangerous dog, an appalling ignorance of hazardous weather conditions and a poorly constructed house all combine to generate a preposterous dream for an adolescent girl who easily gets her panties in a twist whenever she feels threatened. A dancing scarecrow, a dumb robot and a frightened lion-man do nothing worthwhile. An evil witch, ugly flying monkeys, apple trees that act like baseball pitchers and the bellowing apparition of a gaseous being are sure to scare the beejeebers out of small children. Keep them away from this movie unless you're prepared for when they wake up screaming at night. I’m surprised that the witch didn’t have a song or two to sing because almost everyone else did...if you can call it singing.

 

[FlyNavyP3]

Originally Posted By: GrtArtiste
Title: "The Wizard Of Oz"

A dangerous dog, an appalling ignorance of hazardous weather conditions and a poorly constructed house all combine to generate a preposterous dream for an adolescent girl who easily gets her panties in a twist whenever she feels threatened. A dancing scarecrow, a dumb robot and a frightened lion-man do nothing worthwhile. An evil witch, ugly flying monkeys, apple trees that act like baseball pitchers and the bellowing apparition of a gaseous being are sure to scare the beejeebers out of small children. Keep them away from this movie unless you're prepared for when they wake up screaming at night. I’m surprised that the witch didn’t have a song or two to sing because almost everyone else did...if you can call it singing.


Probably the most accurate review of this movie, ever.

 

[simple_gifts]

I'd be interested in a review of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, a car themed musical with a back story of child kidnapping and imprisonment.

 

[Zee09]

Lovely....

 

[JLTD]

Sorry, but this is the story of how Glenda, the "good witch" outmaneuvered and killed her two opponents, and manipulated Dorothy and the other characters to do her dirty work for her.

 

[Kira]

Utterly fantastic idea (in my opinion) though not a new one.

The thing to do is write your own review (omitting names and give-a-ways) and let people guess the title.
Honestly, I think Jack Paar or Steve Allen did this on late night TV eons ago.

I'll be back.

 

[Variant_S]

This is my favorite review, found here:

“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman
she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.”

 

[CT8]

The excellent review would work for the Terminator movies as well.

 

[GrtArtiste]

Title: Close Encounters Of The Third Kind

A group of incredibly quiet space aliens flying incredibly cool looking UFOs delight in causing car crashes, power outages and mid-air collisions as their way of saying “HI THERE” to the people of the Earth. In the midst of all this confusion, a not-too-bright electrician is affected by the aliens’ telepathic mind probes, loses his job, and leaves his wife and children to go alien-chasing. Accompanied by a single mom (also a mind-probe victim) whose son has been abducted, hilarity ensues as they go on a cross-country sojourn to the site of the alien rendezvous and are obstructed along the way by evil government agents trying to silence them and a French movie director who seems to be orchestrating this entire debacle. When the aliens finally appear, they release a group of humans they have abducted over the years and take another group of people on an extended vacation, presumably covering all costs of transportation, lodging, food and travel documents. Then the aliens leave without ever saying a word, but not before introducing their incredibly quiet children.

Rated “R”...for ridiculous.

 

[UncleDave]

Foreign student succumbs to gang related sexual pressure to avoid being ostracized.


UD

 

[javacontour]

Originally Posted By: UncleDave
Foreign student succumbs to gang related sexual pressure to avoid being ostracized.


UD



Grease?

 

[UncleDave]

Originally Posted By: javacontour
Originally Posted By: UncleDave
Foreign student succumbs to gang related sexual pressure to avoid being ostracized.


UD



Grease?


Correct!

UD

 

[Papa Bear]

Title: "The Wizard Of Oz"

Shannow

 

[DoubleWasp]

Decades after a student is burned and dismembered by his teacher, this victim comes to learn that his long lost son is alive and meets him by an unbelievable series of coincidences! Or is it coincidence? He even finally meets his long-lost daughter and both have no idea who eachother are! After she is kidnapped by his long-hated enemies, he learns that she and his own long-lost son are allied with his enemies and even the teacher who dismembered him and burned him alive. They now seek to undermine everything he has worked for in his life. Prodded by his new elderly teacher, he will let nothing stand in the way of his pursuit to protect his achievements and show his son that the bond between them is unbreakable.


There are also some hilarious ones for Back To The Future, but pretty much all of them violate the RSP policies.

 

[GrtArtiste]

Title: Star Wars

Futuristic rehash of old, formulaic story wherein handsome young warrior rescues beautiful young maiden and foils the plans of the evil prince and his dark lord, accompanied by swashbuckling pirate/womanizer who thinks himself smarter than everyone else and his hairy companion who lacks basic communication skills. All of this is set against a backdrop of stupid resistance to governmental authority and a quasi-religious exploration of telekinetic mental powers. Two robots take over the role of a loyal dog, one only beeps and gets into trouble while the other delivers a non-stop oration of sarcasm and bad jokes while looking very shiny. A huge financial success followed by several sequels of the same type due mainly to the very intricate space-battles demanded by a very gullible audience. Also useful as an exercise video for anyone who wants to take up an archaic sport called “Fencing”. Not the worst way to waste two hours, especially if you have some popcorn that absolutely MUST be eaten.