Time to be the not so nice guy anymore

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Anyone else to this point in their life?! My entire life I've always tried to be the guy who would be smiling,ready to lend a hand to people for help,etc.
 
Originally Posted By: Zee09
We all feel like this at times.
Don't fret it. Tomorrow is a new day.
Hang in there.


I'll second this. Sometimes i just walk away and think about something better
 
Nope not related to that at all actually. It just seems in general people in public have became more rude and its getting worse.
 
Originally Posted By: RazorsEdge
Anyone else to this point in their life?! My entire life I've always tried to be the guy who would be smiling,ready to lend a hand to people for help,etc.



Almost every visit to this site when I see the same guys with the same old (unsubstantiated) tired rhetoric

They should join CNN … Constant Negative News
 
Originally Posted By: RazorsEdge
Nope not related to that at all actually. It just seems in general people in public have became more rude and its getting worse.


Going off the thread title, being not so nice anymore will likely cause the people around you(general public) to be the same way. Since they will pick up on the attitude. Unless of course you're talking about rude drivers which is hard to control.
 
Having said that....


I still try to help people where I can or see a need. Like at my doctors office where I was leaving and this older lady and another lady we're trying to get the older lady into her wheelchair next to the car. I came in and helped the older lady make the transfer from the car into the wheelchair and I then wheeled her into the office. As soon as I went outside there was another exact same circumstance unfolding... I helped that lady transfer into her wheelchair and wheeled her in as well. I talked to both of those lady's the entire time... Letting them know what I was going to do and what I needed them to do...

I could tell they and the people with them greatly appreciated my help. And I overheard other people in the office who were pleasantly surprised that I did what I did..


Razor.... Let it be you and me and others and others who do what should be done. Let it be us who show others there's a better way to be in this world that seems so negative at times. Keep the bar high.... And don't let others get us down and have us lower that bar. Keep it high. And keep on digging. Treating others the way it says to in a certain book.
 
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Originally Posted By: RazorsEdge
Nope not related to that at all actually. It just seems in general people in public have became more rude and its getting worse.

So you are going to join them and become part of that group?

You can only do what you can. I am nice because it is the right thing to do. Sure there comes a point in specific interactions that enough is enough, but the next person I meet gets a chance as well.
 
I've been sucking so much as a person I'm surprised my wife hasn't slit my throat in my sleep. I don't blame anyone for my actions, but it is hard to ignore the fact that I'm not the only one. Not by a long shot.
 
Originally Posted By: RazorsEdge
Anyone else to this point in their life?! My entire life I've always tried to be the guy who would be smiling,ready to lend a hand to people for help,etc.


Yeah, me too, exactly. I try to never offend anyone, and I try to be the "adult in the room" that will give in a little bit just to keep the peace. Sadly what results out of this all too often is that people "get comfortable" with you, then think they can safely push you around or be rude, just because you won't blow up on them.

Ironically they will "respect" the mean that they fear will go postal on them.
 
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Those who score high on agreeableness and conscientiousness can go too far and be easily taken advantage of. The later being users. They don't care about you like you care about them. All they want is their problem solved NOW! regardless of your time, money, prior plans, etc.

These users = people eaters = self-absorbed = self-centered = narcissists. Coming to their aid can result in self-harm.

Neighbor beware.....
 
Don't give up Edge. I am a firm believer of leaving the world better than I entered. I try my best to "be best". Often my wife and other think I am overly nice even if it means opening my self to danger. But I believe if we wall up completely to protect ourselves then the world becomes worse. Give but do not expect anything back. Once in a long while someone will come to me and say how I help them that one time long ago and they did not forget. That more than enough payoff to me to be nice. Your gestures do not go unnoticed.
 
I'm sure the people you lend a hand to appreciate it. If they don't, then stop helping them and help other people.

I'm a good guy as well, I was raised that way. Sometimes I get frustrated with all of the rude people, but just when I am about to give up on society someone comes along and surprises me.
 
Very well said bbhero

I sometimes notice if somebody is pushing a cart to the parking lot cart area. I'll sometimes ask if they would like me to take it there for them. This is mostly when I have mine, and am heading towards the cart area. Don't think I've ever been turned down.
But now that I think of it, I don't know if I have offered to any men. If I saw somebody older than me, or with restrictions I'm game to take their cart as well.
Originally Posted By: bbhero
Having said that....


I still try to help people where I can or see a need. Like at my doctors office where I was leaving and this older lady and another lady we're trying to get the older lady into her wheelchair next to the car. I came in and helped the older lady make the transfer from the car into the wheelchair and I then wheeled her into the office. As soon as I went outside there was another exact same circumstance unfolding... I helped that lady transfer into her wheelchair and wheeled her in as well. I talked to both of those lady's the entire time... Letting them know what I was going to do and what I needed them to do...

I could tell they and the people with them greatly appreciated my help. And I overheard other people in the office who were pleasantly surprised that I did what I did..


Razor.... Let it be you and me and others and others who do what should be done. Let it be us who show others there's a better way to be in this world that seems so negative at times. Keep the bar high.... And don't let others get us down and have us lower that bar. Keep it high. And keep on digging. Treating others the way it says to in a certain book.
 
I use to do an overnight shift at a homeless shelter with others from my church. I would leave about 8AM tired, not much sleep. But feeling good that I could help less fortunate people.
 
Everyone has a different perspective. My perspective, is that I was kicked out of the house at 18, stuff thrown on the lawn. Needed a job. Bad. My dads friend dragged me by the ear down to the local prison where he worked, had the warden interview me, and gave me a job on the spot as a corrections officer.

18 years old, supervising 600 hardened criminals on a recreation yard, with the help of about 3 other officers. Yeah, 4 unarmed officers supervising 600 inmates, that have baseball bats, weight lifting bars, etc. You are literally scared to death, but all your training advises that the strong will eat the weak alive, and if you show fear, any fear, they WILL eat you alive. So you have to act and present yourself as an authority figure, with guts of steel, nerves of steel, and scared of nothing and willing to fight and get into the thick of it at the drop of a hat if necessary.

As you can imagine, dealing with that tends to change a person. I have no use for people in general. I dont want them knocking on my door. I dont want them chit chatting with me at the grocery store. And I sure dont wont them approaching me at the gas station and asking me for money. And I pity the fool that attempts to victimize me.

Lots of rambling from me, but basically, this is what Im getting at. We are programmed from little kids to be polite to everyone. Criminals on the other hand, grow up in dangerous neighborhoods. They are NOT taught the same value structure that most "normal" humans. They are taught, and intimately learn, about predator vs prey. They see politeness, helpfulness, and cheerful attitudes as weakness. They WILL use this against you. You do NOT have to be polite to everyone. If your radar is going off that something is wrong, and you think a person might be dangerous or otherwise trying to victimize you, or is otherwise just a scum bag that you'd rather not converse with, you absolutely should not be nice to them. Dont smile at them. Dont be friendly with them. Be direct, look them directly in the eyes, and tell them to back off, stay away, you dont want to talk to them, you dont want to be best buddies, and you are going on your way.

There is a time to be polite, friendly and cheerful. And then there comes a time to be not that. Its hard for most "normal" folks to be "mean" or direct with someone, but its a very valuable skill to learn and "occasionally" practice, in my opinion.

At this point, Im mostly a grumpy middle age man. A product of my environment, no doubt. Do whatever makes you happy. If thats being nice and making new friends, then so be it. If thats walling yourself off and staying away from others, then so be it.
 
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