When giving a gift to someone, is it fair for the gift giver to have expectations as to how the gift is to be used?
Likewise does the gift recipient have an obligation to the giver?
In other words if I give billybob a flashlight is billybob "allowed" to do whatever the [censored] he wants with it?
Several years ago I gave my now wife an ipod, that she wanted, not something I got her that she had no use for. Several months or a year later after visiting with her family she came back without the iPod. Her younger brother, an adult of working age who was currently employed somehow was using it now because he didn't have a phone to communicate with. The plan was he was going to buy whatwver phone waa about to be released at the time then shed get the iPod back. Months passed by I kind of forgot about it but then brought up what's up with her ipod. It ended up probably being a good two years before I got [censored] enough that I made her ask for it back. She still didn't really understand where I was coming from. In her eyes I gave her the item and so it shouldn't matter to me what she does with it (not exact words)
Opinions? Quite a few people I've spoken to feel its for the recipient to do as they please.
Related to the subject, my mom will for example have clothes given to her from years ago. She hasnt worn them in years but will refuse to give them away because X person gave it to her. If Y person goes to her house she puts on the shirt Y person got her. If person Z comes over she uses the pot person Z bought her even if its buried in the back or the cabinet.
Surely theres a happy medium?
Likewise does the gift recipient have an obligation to the giver?
In other words if I give billybob a flashlight is billybob "allowed" to do whatever the [censored] he wants with it?
Several years ago I gave my now wife an ipod, that she wanted, not something I got her that she had no use for. Several months or a year later after visiting with her family she came back without the iPod. Her younger brother, an adult of working age who was currently employed somehow was using it now because he didn't have a phone to communicate with. The plan was he was going to buy whatwver phone waa about to be released at the time then shed get the iPod back. Months passed by I kind of forgot about it but then brought up what's up with her ipod. It ended up probably being a good two years before I got [censored] enough that I made her ask for it back. She still didn't really understand where I was coming from. In her eyes I gave her the item and so it shouldn't matter to me what she does with it (not exact words)
Opinions? Quite a few people I've spoken to feel its for the recipient to do as they please.
Related to the subject, my mom will for example have clothes given to her from years ago. She hasnt worn them in years but will refuse to give them away because X person gave it to her. If Y person goes to her house she puts on the shirt Y person got her. If person Z comes over she uses the pot person Z bought her even if its buried in the back or the cabinet.
Surely theres a happy medium?