When you help someone and its time to walk away

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Well folks,theres nothing in the world I love to do more,then to help someone in need. I for the last 2-months have been helping a friend back on her feet financially and trying to get her back on her feet. Well I just have one problem and that is she does Meth. Yup I've tried like [censored] to be supportive but thats something in my life I have no tolerance for.

I've been trying to help her,but she refuses to get a job. I'm just exhausted and want to walk away. It's gonna hurt like [censored] but she doesnt want treatment and I dont know what else I can do.
 
Yes by all means WALK. Not to be an alarmist but staying together won't lead to anywhere good and you could very well be putting your life in danger. Not to mention being robbed. She may try knocking on windows and doors to get in or stealing from you for money to buy drugs. A restraining order might even be a necessity.

Moving may be a good idea if you don't own the place. Your safety is key. The First 48 tv show follows homicide investigations and most involve drugs.
 
Its sad, gonna hurt, but you can't help someone until they are ready.
It sounds like you are more of an enabler at this point.

Walk away and be ready when the time is right.
Best thing for both of you.
 
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.
 
Originally Posted By: CT8
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.


+1, And the people around them.
 
No need to be cold and callus, none of us are perfect and we've all made mistakes in our lives and all have our weaknesses.

I do agree it's all in the friend's hands, she has to decide she wants to clean up her life. It's very difficult to influence from the outside.
 
Tough to walk away from a friend in need, a friend being someone you have feelings for.
Still, you cannot help a practicing addict.
Meth is like any other addictive drug in that it's very hard to get away from.
She'll either get clean, which is unlikely, die or end up in prison, since the average addict will do whatever it takes to get their fix and that often leads to felony arrests and convictions.
Prison is really the safest place for any practicing addict. Every prison in America and probably the world has some drugs, but nothing like what can be found on the street.
When and if she hits prison, get on her visiting list, visit her and put a little commissary money on her books.
She is on a one way ride and you probably can't help her.
She has to bottom out on her own and she will or she'll die trying.
 
How old is she and what is her lifestyle? Is she your girlfriend?

I have two opinions on situations like this. Is it's someone who's just down on their luck (this can happen to anyone) and is honestly trying to piece their life back together deserve as much help as they can get. Stuff happens and can happen to anyone,no matter who you are or where you're from.

My other opinion is for people who are just bums,moochers,sponges,and refuse to get a job. They deserve no help. Whether they're sponging off the govt or their generous stupid parents. If they refuse to work,but expect dope cigs or booze,they shouldn't be allowed to eat.
 
The only way you can help someone like that is to get them into a rehab facility. Any financial boost you give them will eventually be used to buy more drugs.

There's also no guarantee they won't relapse after rehab. A lot of them do. It sucks but you need to either get them into rehab or wish them well and cut ties.
 
As a 16 year member of AA, I can tell from personal experience that you need tough love here. Walk away with the words, that you will be there when she wants to get help. Ed
 
As stated already, this person has to want to become clean. Nothing can go forward until that happens.

You should keep your distance. It’s not her you might have to worry about, it’s her fellow users that can cause trouble for you as well.
 
You can go to Alanon meetings and start with listening. They are all over. Just go and don't think about it. It's an extremely tough situation. Alcohol is as bad as anything, so you will hear a lot about that as well as all the others. You asked what you can do, that is something, and probably all.
 
Originally Posted By: CT8
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.


It's not a choice, it's a disease.
When she hits bottom, if she doesn't die, she will become teachable.....
And yes, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon are great programs for friends & family of addicts & alcoholics
 
The trap I've always fallen into is getting involved with career moochers. You help the once,and then they expect it all the time. Before you know it they're moving in,eating up all your food,using your electricity,breathing your air,etc,but not even lifting a finger to help out. NOPE!
 
I met a vet who just happened to walk into our church one Sunday. I struck up a conversation with him and found out he was Army and said he was a sniper. He still had shrapnel in him and a bullet in his back. I took him to the local VA 5 days a week for 4 months so he could get pain meds.
I gave him clothing, bought a $50 air mattress, took him to a grocery store and bought $50 worth of groceries that he picked out, nothing expensive.
After 4 months he said the VA would give him a weeks supply. After he got his weeks supply he disappeared for a couple months then came back to church. Another Army vet took him to an air show and loaned him $400. He disappeared again. Then we found out he was in jail for 6-9 months. Saw him once since. He never repaid the loan. He just walked away from us. Good Riddance
 
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