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When you help someone and its time to walk away #4792375
06/20/18 07:09 PM
06/20/18 07:09 PM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 478
USA
RazorsEdge Offline OP
RazorsEdge  Offline OP
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 478
USA
Well folks,theres nothing in the world I love to do more,then to help someone in need. I for the last 2-months have been helping a friend back on her feet financially and trying to get her back on her feet. Well I just have one problem and that is she does Meth. Yup I've tried like [censored] to be supportive but thats something in my life I have no tolerance for.

I've been trying to help her,but she refuses to get a job. I'm just exhausted and want to walk away. It's gonna hurt like [censored] but she doesnt want treatment and I dont know what else I can do.


2015 Ford Escape Ecoboost 1.6
Schaeffers 9000 5w20 / Fram Ultra
Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792384
06/20/18 07:13 PM
06/20/18 07:13 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,698
OH
SatinSilver Offline
SatinSilver  Offline
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,698
OH
Yes by all means WALK. Not to be an alarmist but staying together won't lead to anywhere good and you could very well be putting your life in danger. Not to mention being robbed. She may try knocking on windows and doors to get in or stealing from you for money to buy drugs. A restraining order might even be a necessity.

Moving may be a good idea if you don't own the place. Your safety is key. The First 48 tv show follows homicide investigations and most involve drugs.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792385
06/20/18 07:13 PM
06/20/18 07:13 PM
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,716
Texas
Dallas69 Offline
Dallas69  Offline
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,716
Texas
Drug addicts can't be helped until they decide to get clean.
Run away fast.


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Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792387
06/20/18 07:14 PM
06/20/18 07:14 PM
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 296
TX
KJSmith Offline
KJSmith  Offline
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 296
TX
Its sad, gonna hurt, but you can't help someone until they are ready.
It sounds like you are more of an enabler at this point.

Walk away and be ready when the time is right.
Best thing for both of you.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792391
06/20/18 07:17 PM
06/20/18 07:17 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 11,857
Idaho
CT8 Offline
CT8  Offline
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 11,857
Idaho
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.


2015 Ford F150 2.7
2018 Ford F350 6.2
Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: CT8] #4792392
06/20/18 07:19 PM
06/20/18 07:19 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,698
OH
SatinSilver Offline
SatinSilver  Offline
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,698
OH
Originally Posted By: CT8
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.


+1, And the people around them.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792393
06/20/18 07:19 PM
06/20/18 07:19 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 10,462
Indiana
dlundblad Offline
dlundblad  Offline
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 10,462
Indiana
Easier said than done for a friend though


03 Jeep WJ 4.0 200k Castrol Edge 10w40 HM Fram XG16
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Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792400
06/20/18 07:23 PM
06/20/18 07:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 292
Maryland
walterjay Offline
walterjay  Offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 292
Maryland
Time for tough love. You will have to walk away and let her play it out.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792404
06/20/18 07:27 PM
06/20/18 07:27 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,048
Phoenix
dishdude Offline
dishdude  Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,048
Phoenix
No need to be cold and callus, none of us are perfect and we've all made mistakes in our lives and all have our weaknesses.

I do agree it's all in the friend's hands, she has to decide she wants to clean up her life. It's very difficult to influence from the outside.


2018 Challenger SRT
Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792420
06/20/18 07:38 PM
06/20/18 07:38 PM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,026
OH
fdcg27 Offline
fdcg27  Offline
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 16,026
OH
Tough to walk away from a friend in need, a friend being someone you have feelings for.
Still, you cannot help a practicing addict.
Meth is like any other addictive drug in that it's very hard to get away from.
She'll either get clean, which is unlikely, die or end up in prison, since the average addict will do whatever it takes to get their fix and that often leads to felony arrests and convictions.
Prison is really the safest place for any practicing addict. Every prison in America and probably the world has some drugs, but nothing like what can be found on the street.
When and if she hits prison, get on her visiting list, visit her and put a little commissary money on her books.
She is on a one way ride and you probably can't help her.
She has to bottom out on her own and she will or she'll die trying.


17 Forester 18K VME 0W-20
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Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792421
06/20/18 07:38 PM
06/20/18 07:38 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,644
Dallas,Tx USA
aquariuscsm Offline
aquariuscsm  Offline
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 18,644
Dallas,Tx USA
How old is she and what is her lifestyle? Is she your girlfriend?

I have two opinions on situations like this. Is it's someone who's just down on their luck (this can happen to anyone) and is honestly trying to piece their life back together deserve as much help as they can get. Stuff happens and can happen to anyone,no matter who you are or where you're from.

My other opinion is for people who are just bums,moochers,sponges,and refuse to get a job. They deserve no help. Whether they're sponging off the govt or their generous stupid parents. If they refuse to work,but expect dope cigs or booze,they shouldn't be allowed to eat.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792430
06/20/18 07:41 PM
06/20/18 07:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,442
NY, USA, etc.
oilpsi2high Offline
oilpsi2high  Offline
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,442
NY, USA, etc.
The only way you can help someone like that is to get them into a rehab facility. Any financial boost you give them will eventually be used to buy more drugs.

There's also no guarantee they won't relapse after rehab. A lot of them do. It sucks but you need to either get them into rehab or wish them well and cut ties.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792436
06/20/18 07:43 PM
06/20/18 07:43 PM
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 21,636
Orlando, FL
Mr Nice Offline
Mr Nice  Offline
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 21,636
Orlando, FL
You have to separate yourself from this person.

Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792449
06/20/18 07:54 PM
06/20/18 07:54 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 9,806
Florida, Cape Coral
Eddie Offline
Eddie  Offline
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 9,806
Florida, Cape Coral
As a 16 year member of AA, I can tell from personal experience that you need tough love here. Walk away with the words, that you will be there when she wants to get help. Ed


CX5 Touring 2.5L :-)
Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge] #4792450
06/20/18 07:54 PM
06/20/18 07:54 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 5,481
Gone
PimTac Offline
PimTac  Offline
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 5,481
Gone
As stated already, this person has to want to become clean. Nothing can go forward until that happens.

You should keep your distance. It’s not her you might have to worry about, it’s her fellow users that can cause trouble for you as well.




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