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#4792375 - 06/20/18 07:09 PM When you help someone and its time to walk away
RazorsEdge Offline


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 461
Loc: USA
Well folks,theres nothing in the world I love to do more,then to help someone in need. I for the last 2-months have been helping a friend back on her feet financially and trying to get her back on her feet. Well I just have one problem and that is she does Meth. Yup I've tried like [censored] to be supportive but thats something in my life I have no tolerance for.

I've been trying to help her,but she refuses to get a job. I'm just exhausted and want to walk away. It's gonna hurt like [censored] but she doesnt want treatment and I dont know what else I can do.
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#4792384 - 06/20/18 07:13 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
SatinSilver Offline


Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 10338
Loc: OH
Yes by all means WALK. Not to be an alarmist but staying together won't lead to anywhere good and you could very well be putting your life in danger. Not to mention being robbed. She may try knocking on windows and doors to get in or stealing from you for money to buy drugs. A restraining order might even be a necessity.

Moving may be a good idea if you don't own the place. Your safety is key. The First 48 tv show follows homicide investigations and most involve drugs.

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#4792385 - 06/20/18 07:13 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
Dallas69 Offline


Registered: 02/11/14
Posts: 1677
Loc: Texas
Drug addicts can't be helped until they decide to get clean.
Run away fast.
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#4792387 - 06/20/18 07:14 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
KJSmith Offline


Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 270
Loc: TX
Its sad, gonna hurt, but you can't help someone until they are ready.
It sounds like you are more of an enabler at this point.

Walk away and be ready when the time is right.
Best thing for both of you.

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#4792391 - 06/20/18 07:17 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
CT8 Offline


Registered: 10/09/14
Posts: 11230
Loc: Idaho
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.
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#4792392 - 06/20/18 07:19 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: CT8]
SatinSilver Offline


Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 10338
Loc: OH
Originally Posted By: CT8
Meth heads destroy themselves. No sympathy from me. They made the choice.


+1, And the people around them.

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#4792393 - 06/20/18 07:19 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
dlundblad Offline


Registered: 09/30/13
Posts: 10193
Loc: Indiana
Easier said than done for a friend though
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#4792400 - 06/20/18 07:23 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
walterjay Offline


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 248
Loc: Maryland
Time for tough love. You will have to walk away and let her play it out.

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#4792404 - 06/20/18 07:27 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
dishdude Offline


Registered: 11/14/08
Posts: 8826
Loc: Phoenix
No need to be cold and callus, none of us are perfect and we've all made mistakes in our lives and all have our weaknesses.

I do agree it's all in the friend's hands, she has to decide she wants to clean up her life. It's very difficult to influence from the outside.
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#4792420 - 06/20/18 07:38 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
fdcg27 Offline


Registered: 09/25/09
Posts: 15838
Loc: OH
Tough to walk away from a friend in need, a friend being someone you have feelings for.
Still, you cannot help a practicing addict.
Meth is like any other addictive drug in that it's very hard to get away from.
She'll either get clean, which is unlikely, die or end up in prison, since the average addict will do whatever it takes to get their fix and that often leads to felony arrests and convictions.
Prison is really the safest place for any practicing addict. Every prison in America and probably the world has some drugs, but nothing like what can be found on the street.
When and if she hits prison, get on her visiting list, visit her and put a little commissary money on her books.
She is on a one way ride and you probably can't help her.
She has to bottom out on her own and she will or she'll die trying.
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#4792421 - 06/20/18 07:38 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
aquariuscsm Offline


Registered: 12/30/06
Posts: 18296
Loc: Dallas,Tx USA
How old is she and what is her lifestyle? Is she your girlfriend?

I have two opinions on situations like this. Is it's someone who's just down on their luck (this can happen to anyone) and is honestly trying to piece their life back together deserve as much help as they can get. Stuff happens and can happen to anyone,no matter who you are or where you're from.

My other opinion is for people who are just bums,moochers,sponges,and refuse to get a job. They deserve no help. Whether they're sponging off the govt or their generous stupid parents. If they refuse to work,but expect dope cigs or booze,they shouldn't be allowed to eat.

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#4792430 - 06/20/18 07:41 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
oilpsi2high Offline


Registered: 12/18/14
Posts: 1385
Loc: NY, USA, etc.
The only way you can help someone like that is to get them into a rehab facility. Any financial boost you give them will eventually be used to buy more drugs.

There's also no guarantee they won't relapse after rehab. A lot of them do. It sucks but you need to either get them into rehab or wish them well and cut ties.

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#4792436 - 06/20/18 07:43 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
Mr Nice Offline


Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 21353
Loc: Orlando, FL
You have to separate yourself from this person.

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#4792449 - 06/20/18 07:54 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
Eddie Offline


Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 9652
Loc: Florida, Cape Coral
As a 16 year member of AA, I can tell from personal experience that you need tough love here. Walk away with the words, that you will be there when she wants to get help. Ed
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#4792450 - 06/20/18 07:54 PM Re: When you help someone and its time to walk away [Re: RazorsEdge]
PimTac Offline


Registered: 03/04/17
Posts: 4628
Loc: Soviet State of Washington
As stated already, this person has to want to become clean. Nothing can go forward until that happens.

You should keep your distance. Itís not her you might have to worry about, itís her fellow users that can cause trouble for you as well.
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