Basic needs & fears of married men & women.

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From my wife and my marriage counseling-

Needs:

MEN:
1.honor
2.sex
3.friendship with wife
4.domestic support

WOMEN:
1.security
2.safe non-sexual affection
3.open and honest communication
4.leadership


Fears:

MEN:
1.helplessness
2.being controlled
3.failure
4.disrespect


WOMEN:
1.disconection-at the heart level
2.not being heard
3.not being valued
4.losing love and appreciation

Your thoughts?
 
What about religion?

27.gif
 
>friendship with wife
This is a huge one. A friend you can relate to, doesn't abuse you or use you as a slave, doormat, tool or ATM. It's totally astounding to me that people choose to have relationships like that.
 
Originally Posted By: KrisZ
What is a "safe non-sexual affection"? Is that some sort of friend zone?

Spooning
Cozy hug
jumping up and down in LaLaLand
That day when the kids are with auntie....(Last time, exactly like the commercial... We slept like a log 1/2 day)
 
Originally Posted By: Andy636
What kind of security are you referring to?
wink.gif


Tomorrow (Ziua de maine) is not a BIG Question mark...
 
What's there looks accurate to me.

Among other things, males are predisposed to want authority over things and know they can take care of/protect themselves and others. Mastery of something can give the feeling of having control over it - which isn't always a bad thing, but is easily corrupted. The "needs" list for women almost sounds too passive to me, but women do want to know they're valued and protected.

Man gives woman respect in the form of a genuine listening ear and a safe, stable environment, and she in turn gives man the respect as a leader and recognizes/reaffirms his capability to provide - sounds like a winning combo to me.
 
Seems to track reasonably well with what I've learned from Dr Willard Harley at www.marriagebuilders.com

Check out His Need, Her Needs...

Originally Posted By: callbay
From my wife and my marriage counseling-

Needs:

MEN:
1.honor
2.sex
3.friendship with wife
4.domestic support

WOMEN:
1.security
2.safe non-sexual affection
3.open and honest communication
4.leadership


Fears:

MEN:
1.helplessness
2.being controlled
3.failure
4.disrespect


WOMEN:
1.disconection-at the heart level
2.not being heard
3.not being valued
4.losing love and appreciation

Your thoughts?
 
Please..

With my darling bride, 4 kids and ~40-70hr work weeks, I'm just happy to have dinner on the table and some semblance of sanity. Neither of which happen regularly.
 
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: CR94
Not one single item listed as common to both genders. Really?


Both on opposite sides of the same ATM screen...how's that.
 
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