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#4721680 - 04/09/18 01:38 PM Basic needs & fears of married men & women.
callbay Offline


Registered: 05/29/05
Posts: 814
Loc: Ozark Mountains
From my wife and my marriage counseling-

Needs:

MEN:
1.honor
2.sex
3.friendship with wife
4.domestic support

WOMEN:
1.security
2.safe non-sexual affection
3.open and honest communication
4.leadership


Fears:

MEN:
1.helplessness
2.being controlled
3.failure
4.disrespect


WOMEN:
1.disconection-at the heart level
2.not being heard
3.not being valued
4.losing love and appreciation

Your thoughts?

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#4721695 - 04/09/18 01:56 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
Lolvoguy Offline


Registered: 02/06/14
Posts: 2393
Loc: Canada
What about religion?

hide
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#4721697 - 04/09/18 02:01 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
PeterPolyol Offline


Registered: 03/06/16
Posts: 1351
Loc: toronto
>friendship with wife
This is a huge one. A friend you can relate to, doesn't abuse you or use you as a slave, doormat, tool or ATM. It's totally astounding to me that people choose to have relationships like that.

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#4721703 - 04/09/18 02:06 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
Leo99 Offline


Registered: 03/30/14
Posts: 3109
Loc: NJ
Pretty spot on.
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#4721706 - 04/09/18 02:07 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
KrisZ Offline


Registered: 12/23/06
Posts: 7507
Loc: Toronto, Canada
What is a "safe non-sexual affection"? Is that some sort of friend zone?
_________________________
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#4721713 - 04/09/18 02:12 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
Andy636 Offline


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 778
Loc: Romania
What kind of security are you referring to? wink

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#4721717 - 04/09/18 02:15 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: KrisZ]
pandus13 Offline


Registered: 08/12/11
Posts: 3280
Loc: Chicago,IL,USA
Originally Posted By: KrisZ
What is a "safe non-sexual affection"? Is that some sort of friend zone?

Spooning
Cozy hug
jumping up and down in LaLaLand
That day when the kids are with auntie....(Last time, exactly like the commercial... We slept like a log 1/2 day)
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#4721719 - 04/09/18 02:16 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: Andy636]
pandus13 Offline


Registered: 08/12/11
Posts: 3280
Loc: Chicago,IL,USA
Originally Posted By: Andy636
What kind of security are you referring to? wink

Tomorrow (Ziua de maine) is not a BIG Question mark...
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#4721725 - 04/09/18 02:23 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
Alex_V Offline


Registered: 04/10/16
Posts: 1174
Loc: Campbellsville, KY
What's there looks accurate to me.

Among other things, males are predisposed to want authority over things and know they can take care of/protect themselves and others. Mastery of something can give the feeling of having control over it - which isn't always a bad thing, but is easily corrupted. The "needs" list for women almost sounds too passive to me, but women do want to know they're valued and protected.

Man gives woman respect in the form of a genuine listening ear and a safe, stable environment, and she in turn gives man the respect as a leader and recognizes/reaffirms his capability to provide - sounds like a winning combo to me.
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#4721727 - 04/09/18 02:26 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
RedOakRanch Offline


Registered: 11/10/13
Posts: 851
Loc: Central Coast California
All points valid but not necessarily in that order or on the right side of man vs woman list. People vary greatly.
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#4721784 - 04/09/18 03:03 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
javacontour Offline


Registered: 06/26/03
Posts: 10317
Loc: Illinois
Seems to track reasonably well with what I've learned from Dr Willard Harley at www.marriagebuilders.com

Check out His Need, Her Needs...

Originally Posted By: callbay
From my wife and my marriage counseling-

Needs:

MEN:
1.honor
2.sex
3.friendship with wife
4.domestic support

WOMEN:
1.security
2.safe non-sexual affection
3.open and honest communication
4.leadership


Fears:

MEN:
1.helplessness
2.being controlled
3.failure
4.disrespect


WOMEN:
1.disconection-at the heart level
2.not being heard
3.not being valued
4.losing love and appreciation

Your thoughts?
_________________________
network down, IP packets delivered via UPS -BOFH

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#4721897 - 04/09/18 04:44 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
JTK Offline


Registered: 08/14/03
Posts: 10653
Loc: Buffalo, NY
Please..

With my darling bride, 4 kids and ~40-70hr work weeks, I'm just happy to have dinner on the table and some semblance of sanity. Neither of which happen regularly.


Edited by JTK (04/09/18 04:44 PM)
_________________________
2017 Ram 1500 4x4, 3.6L. 2016 Nissan Quest SV (Babe magnet IV)

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#4721935 - 04/09/18 05:36 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
CR94 Offline


Registered: 03/20/16
Posts: 1173
Loc: Western S.C. since 1996
Not one single item listed as common to both genders. Really?
_________________________
2011 Toyota Prius now at 91K
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#4721949 - 04/09/18 05:53 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: CR94]
Shannow Online   content


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 40129
Loc: 'Stralia
Originally Posted By: CR94
Not one single item listed as common to both genders. Really?


Both on opposite sides of the same ATM screen...how's that.

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#4722276 - 04/09/18 11:03 PM Re: Basic needs & fears of married men & women. [Re: callbay]
shadow7 Offline


Registered: 09/05/10
Posts: 257
Loc: VA
Women donít need sex?

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