Baby boomers and late life divorce

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Hello:

My wife and I are baby boomers in our mid 60s, married 41 years. We just found out a third couple friend of ours is considering divorce. This comes after my SIL and BIL (our best friends) are in the final process of divorcing after being married 45 years. And just last week we learned of another couple friend of ours who are starting the divorce process. They have been married 37 years. And just last night, one of my ultra long term friends (from high school); we were there for dinner and learned that they are getting divorced! They've been married 35 years.

WTH? Is this some kind of new thing?

Scott
 
It might be a new tax dodge thing.
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It's contagious! I remember when I was married to my first wife and every Friday night we would get together with 3 other couples to cook up steak and drink. One by one each of those couples split up and when it got to the 3rd couple I said to my wife "don't get any funny ideas" and 6 months later we split up too. Best thing ever though, I met a much nicer woman and we've been married 5 years now
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Originally Posted By: oldhp
It might be a new tax dodge thing.
sick.gif



I laughed, but between this and healthcare, kinda makes you wonder....
 
I had heard at one point of divorcing for the purpose of college aid for kids...
 
A very high percentage of men in my area who are 60 yes or older... Typically have "wives" who are 15-20 years younger than them. Quite a common phenomenon here. It is rather rare to see older men and women together.
 
Originally Posted By: oldhp
It might be a new tax dodge thing.
sick.gif



Not in the case of my BIL and SIL. Their standard of living has already been destroyed. It's too early to know what will happen with the other two couples, but all I know is that if my wife and I got divorced it would significantly lower our current standard of living.

In the case of my BIL and SIL, they should have divorced 20 years ago. The second couple have always had an odd marriage, but it is a 37 year marriage after all. With my old high school friend, that surprised the heck of my wife and I. They always seemed like a couple who got on well together.

Scott
 
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
I had heard at one point of divorcing for the purpose of college aid for kids...


All kids involved are in their mid '30s, with their own careers and families.

Scott
 
Originally Posted By: bbhero
A very high percentage of men in my area who are 60 yes or older... Typically have "wives" who are 15-20 years younger than them. Quite a common phenomenon here. It is rather rare to see older men and women together.


For that to work these older guys must have lots of money. IMO, any 60 year old guy who believes marrying a 40 year old woman in a second marriage will work out is being naive. When he turns 70 and Viagra no longer works that 50 year old wife of his will be getting serviced elsewhere!

Scott
 
Originally Posted By: NormanBuntz
There's nothing like a late life crisis to put you on your rear end.


That's what I am seeing. It's not a tax dodge or a wish for a younger spouse. It's a train wreck.

Scott
 
Amen to what you stated there sir!!

Spot on. Lots of these older guys do have a good amount of $$$. And you are right about the second part as well.
 
all I know is that if my wife and I got divorced it would significantly lower our current standard of living.
Yah, thats been a big reason for us to stick together. A divorce aint worth it. Neither one of us wants to move. More practical to stay hitched.
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Originally Posted By: Kamele0N
What is BIL & SIL... Tnx!
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I believe it means Brother-in-Law and Sister-In-Law, i.e. brother / sister by marriage.
 
We also have friends & family that have been married for over 40 years and splitting up as well. Many of our friends are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage. Although we've been married for 38 years, I don't speak from experience but, this is what they tell us.

Listening to our friend/family say that, after all of the kids are gone, couples find out that they don't have anything in common anymore except the grand children. Sometimes it takes a few years to figure this out while this get built up inside of them.

Each one of them has their own personal preferences from the time that each one gets up/goes to bed, what they like to do during the day, one may be retired while the other continues to work, the places they each like to go, where they each like to vacation etc. It almost never seems to be about money or adultery(within our circle).

This creates great strain on the relationship and instead of hating each other, it's better to live separate lives and still keep some love(while not being in love) with each other. Often I hear couples say that they don't want to hate each other, they're just not in love(haven't been) any longer. And instead of fighting/bickering all the time, it's just better to leave. Often they'll spend a holiday(Thanksgiving) together with the family. And then, each leaves and goes to their own home. This is a rarity but, it does happen.
 
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Not mentioned yet but probably at the center of these breakups is the end of sexlife. Not that it’s all their fault but, menopause is devastating to many women.
 
Originally Posted By: Indydriver
Not mentioned yet but probably at the center of these breakups is the end of sexlife. Not that it’s all their fault but, menopause is devastating to many women.


Along with medications that many people have to take due to illnesses or other factors which in turn, take a toll on the their love life. However, I also know several couples that have been married for over 40 years who are still in love but, don't make love anymore. Love making is not a priority in their relationship but, closeness is...sleeping together and snuggling & touching.
 
My brother got divorced when he was about 60 after 25 years of marriage. But he has a failed divorce. He spends a lot of time with his ex-wife.

The grass is almost certainly not greener on the other side.
 
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