English language

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1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

8. A thief fell into wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal.

9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

14. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
 
Originally Posted By: BalticBob

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


I remember my grade school teacher saying this...back in the early 70s.
 
Good Stuff.
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Originally Posted By: Kruse
Originally Posted By: BalticBob

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


I remember my grade school teacher saying this...back in the early 70s.


Same here! I still get people with that joke lol

Proper form: "Do you know what happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles? U.C.L.A."
 
Originally Posted By: Kamele0N
6th....?
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When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A....You see LA
 
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When I was a kid, my grandparents had an outside lavatory with a can...the can man would come weekly and pick it up.

When I was a teenager, it was reported that the can man had suffered a heart attack while walking along the trench at the sewage treatment plant.

He was found inturd.
 
Joking apart the origin of some words is actually very interesting since they have origins from Scandinavia, France , India etc. Maybe it's worth a serious discussion sometime?
 
It would be a long discussion as there are many words in many languages.

Did you know Dampier (explorer decades before Ctn. Cook) saw wall mounted fold down bunk beds somewhere in the western hemisphere.
The natives called them babacue, or some such.
Meat smokers used wall mounted fold down shelves and the word bar-B-que (sp?) developed.

I read a great book about Dampier.
 
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