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English language #4660699
02/09/18 09:52 AM
02/09/18 09:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 395
Texas
BalticBob Offline OP
BalticBob  Offline OP
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 395
Texas
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

5. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

6. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

7. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

8. A thief fell into wet concrete. He became a hardened criminal.

9. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

10. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

12. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

13. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

14. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

15. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

16. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4660729
02/09/18 10:19 AM
02/09/18 10:19 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,341
Kansas
Kruse Offline
Kruse  Offline
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,341
Kansas
Originally Posted By: BalticBob

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


I remember my grade school teacher saying this...back in the early 70s.

Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4660882
02/09/18 12:22 PM
02/09/18 12:22 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,235
Iowegia - USA
MolaKule Offline
MolaKule  Offline
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 19,235
Iowegia - USA
Good Stuff. crackmeup thumbsup


Reading is fundamental; understanding is not a given ability.
Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4660991
02/09/18 02:14 PM
02/09/18 02:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 2,201
Slovenia EU
Kamele0N Online sick
Kamele0N  Online Sick
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 2,201
Slovenia EU
6th....? shrug


2011 Hyundai i30 1.4 CVVT Shell Helix Ultra 5w40
1997 Toyota Landcruiser KZJ95 3.0 TD Shell Rimula R6M 10w40
Re: English language [Re: Kruse] #4661079
02/09/18 03:57 PM
02/09/18 03:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 38
Eastern Seaboard
Collingwood Offline
Collingwood  Offline
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 38
Eastern Seaboard
Originally Posted By: Kruse
Originally Posted By: BalticBob

11. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


I remember my grade school teacher saying this...back in the early 70s.


Same here! I still get people with that joke lol

Proper form: "Do you know what happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles? U.C.L.A."

Re: English language [Re: Kamele0N] #4661087
02/09/18 04:05 PM
02/09/18 04:05 PM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,279
ROCHESTER, NY
Char Baby Offline
Char Baby  Offline
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 10,279
ROCHESTER, NY
Originally Posted By: Kamele0N
6th....? shrug


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A....You see LA

Last edited by Char Baby; 02/09/18 04:06 PM.

"Retired"
-----------------------------------

'80 Firebird FORMULA V8/4bbl-purchased "NEW"
'15 Nissan Altima 2.5 SV
'15 Honda Civic LX(17K)
Re: English language [Re: Kamele0N] #4661184
02/09/18 06:08 PM
02/09/18 06:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,844
Ontario Canada
cjcride Offline
cjcride  Offline
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,844
Ontario Canada
Originally Posted By: Kamele0N
6th....? shrug
they take the bait. Like on a fish hook.

Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4661608
02/10/18 07:41 AM
02/10/18 07:41 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 2,201
Slovenia EU
Kamele0N Online sick
Kamele0N  Online Sick
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 2,201
Slovenia EU
Aaaa ok....its "pronounciation" thing smile tnx


2011 Hyundai i30 1.4 CVVT Shell Helix Ultra 5w40
1997 Toyota Landcruiser KZJ95 3.0 TD Shell Rimula R6M 10w40
Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4662229
02/10/18 07:37 PM
02/10/18 07:37 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,887
'Stralia
Shannow Online content
Shannow  Online Content
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 40,887
'Stralia
When I was a kid, my grandparents had an outside lavatory with a can...the can man would come weekly and pick it up.

When I was a teenager, it was reported that the can man had suffered a heart attack while walking along the trench at the sewage treatment plant.

He was found inturd.

Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4663268
02/11/18 07:38 PM
02/11/18 07:38 PM
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,912
MI, USA
Whitewolf Offline
Whitewolf  Offline
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,912
MI, USA
Joking apart the origin of some words is actually very interesting since they have origins from Scandinavia, France , India etc. Maybe it's worth a serious discussion sometime?


My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
~ PJ Plauger
Re: English language [Re: Whitewolf] #4663909
02/12/18 02:00 PM
02/12/18 02:00 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,668
Champlain/Hudson Valley
Kira Offline
Kira  Offline
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 5,668
Champlain/Hudson Valley
It would be a long discussion as there are many words in many languages.

Did you know Dampier (explorer decades before Ctn. Cook) saw wall mounted fold down bunk beds somewhere in the western hemisphere.
The natives called them babacue, or some such.
Meat smokers used wall mounted fold down shelves and the word bar-B-que (sp?) developed.

I read a great book about Dampier.

Re: English language [Re: BalticBob] #4688498
03/08/18 10:14 AM
03/08/18 10:14 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 487
NC
Matagonka Offline
Matagonka  Offline
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 487
NC
Hahaha, #2 was the best.


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