Recent Topics
Silicone containing waxes
by mjoekingz28
06/19/18 09:44 AM
Matrix totaled
by circuitsmith
06/19/18 08:32 AM
Door rust problems
by Dave Sherman
06/19/18 07:51 AM
2016 Honda Civic problems
by dbias
06/19/18 07:39 AM
Royal purple 75-140 in a subaru rear
by 91camarosRS
06/19/18 07:32 AM
OCI. With short trips. Nissan 4 liter
by Gawardawg
06/19/18 06:52 AM
Approach Watching on the Beach @ St Maarten ...
by LoneRanger
06/19/18 06:41 AM
Honda Accord Needs Shocks; Front, Back, or Both?
by tc1446
06/19/18 05:50 AM
How much oil does your oil filter hold?
by Snagglefoot
06/19/18 05:44 AM
better day
by mx5miata
06/19/18 05:26 AM
BRAVO to Officer Wheeles......
by Sayjac
06/19/18 05:17 AM
People Watching ....Airport style.
by ZZman
06/19/18 04:24 AM
Subaru's at play...
by OneEyeJack
06/19/18 03:50 AM
Treating a 2003 Jetta
by llmercll
06/19/18 01:41 AM
Brakes not working - brake pedal sinks
by tookien
06/19/18 12:42 AM
Dave thinks I can make it 12--15k
by Marco620
06/19/18 12:26 AM
'05 Impala front wheel "squeal". Cost !
by Lee4212
06/19/18 12:16 AM
One Dollar Per Gallon?
by Y_K
06/18/18 11:53 PM
Walmart Tightening up Returns
by John_K
06/18/18 10:21 PM
flare nut wrench set
by spasm3
06/18/18 09:46 PM
Newest Members
JustaDude, 3horseman, Firedog45, WtsTacoma01, Orion62
65265 Registered Users
Who's Online
79 registered (Atesz792, badtlc, beanoil, andyd, BAJA_05, AndyB, 7 invisible), 1535 Guests and 37 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
65265 Members
67 Forums
285586 Topics
4765910 Posts

Max Online: 3590 @ 01/24/17 08:07 PM
Donate to BITOG
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#4659015 - 02/07/18 12:26 PM Perfect Husband
JLTD Offline


Registered: 12/15/17
Posts: 643
Loc: US
THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.


He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
_________________________
His: 2015 4Runner SR5 1GR-FE 37k, Amsoil OE 5w20/Wix
Testing vs Amsoil OE 5w30...then longer OCI on SS

Hers: 2008 Jeep Liberty 134k, Amsoil SS 5w30/Amsoil, minimum 10k oci

Top
#4659020 - 02/07/18 12:29 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
PimTac Offline


Registered: 03/04/17
Posts: 4233
Loc: Soviet State of Washington
I enjoyed that chuckle.
_________________________
2017 Mazda CX-5 Grand Touring

Valvoline Advanced Synthetic 0w20
Mobil 1 M108A EP filter


Top
#4659036 - 02/07/18 12:44 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
ARB1977 Offline


Registered: 06/12/05
Posts: 5167
Loc: North Texas
Lol
_________________________
2015 Tacoma 4.0L 60K (as of 02/23/18)
Amsoil SS 0W30 / Toyota filter

2018 CRV 1.5L (as of 05/11/18)
Factory fill / Factory filter

Top
#4659038 - 02/07/18 12:45 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
Pajero Offline


Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 841
Loc: Rio Rancho, NM
Lol!





Respectfully,

Pajero!
_________________________
Always remember "Planned obsolescence."

1994 Montero SR 3.5 DOHC, 133,xxx
Fram Ultra/ Snorkel with Pre-filter
K-9-Co-pilot

Top
#4659067 - 02/07/18 01:01 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
dogememe Offline


Registered: 04/15/17
Posts: 597
Loc: SF BAY AREA, CA
That was a good one.
_________________________
2007 Ford Crown Vic P71 4.6 ~124K Miles, Valvoline SynPower 5W-30, Royal Purple Filter *Daily Driver*
2010 Ford Escape 2.5 ~70K Miles, Valvoline SynPower 5W-30, Wix Filter *Turo Rental Car*

Top
#4659113 - 02/07/18 01:38 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
edwardh1 Offline


Registered: 01/17/03
Posts: 2941
Loc: Coastal South Carolina
my wife really laughed
_________________________
These products are all new every year?? They are a revolution!!! Razor blades, mens shirts, TVs, wiper blades, gutter guards, hearing aids... according to the ads. But also all new last year

Top
#4659133 - 02/07/18 01:58 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
Kestas Offline



Registered: 06/04/02
Posts: 12324
Loc: The Motor City
I actually did something like that years ago. One guy called at work and thought he was talking to his landlord. We talked for 15 minutes. I never did tell him he got the wrong number.

Top
#4659135 - 02/07/18 01:59 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
redbone3 Offline


Registered: 06/09/12
Posts: 654
Loc: Reno, NV
Ogden Nash, a long time ago:

The Perfect Husband
He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick,
And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.
_________________________
2014 Passat Wolfsburg, 1995 Miata.

Top
#4659160 - 02/07/18 02:22 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
BalticBob Offline


Registered: 11/27/16
Posts: 395
Loc: Texas
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut.
I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!

Top
#4659163 - 02/07/18 02:23 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: BalticBob]
mightymousetech Offline


Registered: 04/03/17
Posts: 1444
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: BalticBob
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut.
I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!



LOL Dick. I love it!
_________________________
Mighty Mouse Tech
Acura Tech
2010 Civic Si Castrol 0W40, Redline MTL
2013 BMW 135i M Sport Edition Castrol 0W40, Redline MTL

Top
#4659181 - 02/07/18 02:51 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
CT8 Online   content


Registered: 10/09/14
Posts: 10930
Loc: Idaho
!!! grin
_________________________
"Don't let your preconceived notions get in the way of facts."
Geoff Metcalf

Top
#4659248 - 02/07/18 04:08 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
Bud Offline


Registered: 06/04/02
Posts: 1715
Loc: Texas
LOL
_________________________
2016 Honda Pilot EX-L with NAV.....Mobil 1 0w20 AFE and Ultra XG7317

Top
#4659381 - 02/07/18 06:37 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
BalticBob Offline


Registered: 11/27/16
Posts: 395
Loc: Texas
One time a young lady, teenage or so, called my house and asked if "Jane" was there.
No one at my house named Jane, so I told her truthfully, no.
So she says ...... 'when you see her, will you tell her that "Mary" has her class project ready for tomorrow? She has to have it to get full credit for the class, and I don't want her to fail it again.'
So I said, ok, when I see her I will tell her.
I never did see "Jane".

crackmeup

Top
#4661025 - 02/09/18 01:41 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD]
supton Online   content


Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 11923
Loc: NH
I don't have a super common name but have had people I clearly did not know asking for... me. Well, the other me.
_________________________
2011 Toyota Camry, base, 2.5L/6MT, 160k, hers
2010 Toyota Tundra DC, 4.6L/6AT, 143k, ours
1999 Toyota Camry LE, 2.2L/4AT, 181k, his

Top
#4661449 - 02/09/18 10:07 PM Re: Perfect Husband [Re: Kestas]
Wolf359 Offline


Registered: 04/27/12
Posts: 4742
Loc: MA
Originally Posted By: Kestas
I actually did something like that years ago. One guy called at work and thought he was talking to his landlord. We talked for 15 minutes. I never did tell him he got the wrong number.


I had the reverse. I was a landlord calling one of my tenants, he initially thought I was someone else. Then he started talking about how some pills were $5 each and if I thought it was a good deal. Then I said what are you talking about, I'm the landlord. He pretended it didn't happen afterwards. I did end up evicting him and I heard afterwards that he had overdosed and died a few months after he moved away.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >