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Perfect Husband #4659015
02/07/18 01:26 PM
02/07/18 01:26 PM
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,031
US
JLTD Offline OP
JLTD  Offline OP
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,031
US
THE PERFECT HUSBAND

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.


He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"


I'm a thickie; but a 20 has its place.

I use AMSOIL

Hers: 2008 Jeep Liberty 138k, SS 5w30/Amsoil

His: 2015 4Runner 41k, OE 5w20/Wix

Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659020
02/07/18 01:29 PM
02/07/18 01:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 5,394
Soviet State of Washington
PimTac Offline
PimTac  Offline
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 5,394
Soviet State of Washington
I enjoyed that chuckle.


2017 Mazda CX-5 Grand Touring

Valvoline Advanced Synthetic 0w20
Mobil 1 M108A EP filter

Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659036
02/07/18 01:44 PM
02/07/18 01:44 PM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 5,244
North Texas
ARB1977 Offline
ARB1977  Offline
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 5,244
North Texas
Lol


2015 Tacoma 4.0L 60K (as of 02/23/18)
AMSOIL SS 0W30 / Toyota filter

2018 CRV 1.5L (as of 05/11/18)
Factory fill / Honda filter
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659038
02/07/18 01:45 PM
02/07/18 01:45 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 953
Rio Rancho, NM
Pajero Offline
Pajero  Offline
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 953
Rio Rancho, NM
Lol!





Respectfully,

Pajero!


Always remember "Planned obsolescence."

1994 Montero SR 3.5 DOHC, 133,xxx
Fram Ultra/ Snorkel with Pre-filter
K-9-Co-pilot
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659067
02/07/18 02:01 PM
02/07/18 02:01 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 927
SF BAY AREA, CA
dogememe Online content
dogememe  Online Content
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 927
SF BAY AREA, CA
That was a good one.


2007 Crown Vic P71 4.6 ~126K Miles, Royal Purple HPS 5W-30, Royal Purple Filter, Daily Driver, 5K OCIs.
2010 Escape FWD 2.5 ~84K Miles, Castrol Edge EP 5W-30, Wix Filter, Rented on Turo, 10-15K OCIs.
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659113
02/07/18 02:38 PM
02/07/18 02:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,073
Coastal South Carolina
edwardh1 Offline
edwardh1  Offline
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,073
Coastal South Carolina
my wife really laughed


These products are all new every year?? They are a revolution!!! Razor blades, mens shirts, TVs, wiper blades, gutter guards, hearing aids... according to the ads. But also all new last year
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659133
02/07/18 02:58 PM
02/07/18 02:58 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 12,515
The Motor City
Kestas Offline
Kestas  Offline
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 12,515
The Motor City
I actually did something like that years ago. One guy called at work and thought he was talking to his landlord. We talked for 15 minutes. I never did tell him he got the wrong number.

Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659135
02/07/18 02:59 PM
02/07/18 02:59 PM
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 678
Reno, NV
redbone3 Offline
redbone3  Offline
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 678
Reno, NV
Ogden Nash, a long time ago:

The Perfect Husband
He tells you when you've got on too much lipstick,
And helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.


2014 Passat Wolfsburg, 1995 Miata.
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659160
02/07/18 03:22 PM
02/07/18 03:22 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 395
Texas
BalticBob Offline
BalticBob  Offline
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 395
Texas
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut.
I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!

Re: Perfect Husband [Re: BalticBob] #4659163
02/07/18 03:23 PM
02/07/18 03:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,480
Ontario, Canada
mightymousetech Offline
mightymousetech  Offline
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 1,480
Ontario, Canada
Originally Posted By: BalticBob
Years ago my home phone number was one digit off from the local Pizza Hut.
I took dozens of pizza orders, and they would all be ready for pick-up in 20 minutes!



LOL Dick. I love it!


Mighty Mouse Tech
BMW Tech, Former Acura Tech
2010 Civic Si Castrol 0W40, Redline MTL
2013 BMW 135i M Sport Edition Castrol 0W40, Redline MTL
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659181
02/07/18 03:51 PM
02/07/18 03:51 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 11,827
Idaho
CT8 Online content
CT8  Online Content
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 11,827
Idaho
!!! grin


"Don't let your preconceived notions get in the way of facts."
Geoff Metcalf
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659248
02/07/18 05:08 PM
02/07/18 05:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,833
Texas
Bud Offline
Bud  Offline
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,833
Texas
LOL


2016 Honda Pilot EX-L with NAV.....Mobil 1 0w20 AFE and Ultra XG7317
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4659381
02/07/18 07:37 PM
02/07/18 07:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 395
Texas
BalticBob Offline
BalticBob  Offline
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 395
Texas
One time a young lady, teenage or so, called my house and asked if "Jane" was there.
No one at my house named Jane, so I told her truthfully, no.
So she says ...... 'when you see her, will you tell her that "Mary" has her class project ready for tomorrow? She has to have it to get full credit for the class, and I don't want her to fail it again.'
So I said, ok, when I see her I will tell her.
I never did see "Jane".

crackmeup

Re: Perfect Husband [Re: JLTD] #4661025
02/09/18 02:41 PM
02/09/18 02:41 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 12,524
NH
supton Offline
supton  Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 12,524
NH
I don't have a super common name but have had people I clearly did not know asking for... me. Well, the other me.


2011 Toyota Camry, base, 2.5L/6MT, 163k, hers
2010 Toyota Tundra DC, 4.6L/6AT, 144k, ours
1999 Toyota Camry LE, 2.2L/4AT, 187k, his
Re: Perfect Husband [Re: Kestas] #4661449
02/09/18 11:07 PM
02/09/18 11:07 PM
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 5,141
MA
Wolf359 Offline
Wolf359  Offline
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 5,141
MA
Originally Posted By: Kestas
I actually did something like that years ago. One guy called at work and thought he was talking to his landlord. We talked for 15 minutes. I never did tell him he got the wrong number.


I had the reverse. I was a landlord calling one of my tenants, he initially thought I was someone else. Then he started talking about how some pills were $5 each and if I thought it was a good deal. Then I said what are you talking about, I'm the landlord. He pretended it didn't happen afterwards. I did end up evicting him and I heard afterwards that he had overdosed and died a few months after he moved away.

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