Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA

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I've been doing spin classes (stationary bike class) for about 7 years at my local YMCA, I go 2x per week and rarely miss a class unless I'm sick or travelling. Most of the spin class participants are regulars too.

There is one family that attends with their son who is autistic. My wife found out years ago that the parents bring this kid to class to burn off some energy so he will sleep properly at night. Parents are now in their 60's and son is about 20 if I guess correctly. This family started attending about 4 years ago. In the last 3 years it's just the father and son, the mom has issues with her knees.

So, this kid farts. The class is in a closed room, one ceiling fan. We are all working hard. Nobody smells great at end of class, but whatever.
When this kid started attending 4 years ago, if he [censored], he'd yell out "EXCUSE ME" and keep going. Co-incidentally as his mom stopped going to class - the kid passes gas loudly and doesn't make any apology - his dad doesn't even acknowledge the events.

Back in November I complained to the instructor about his issue, she agreed that it had gotten worse, and she would talk with father.
I suspect there was no discussion with anyone.

So last Monday evening, we are 15 minutes into a 45 minute class and this kid has released 3 loud bombs, stinking up the room. I blurted out:
"Really xxxxx, 3 times already? !!" The kid doesn't know I was talking to him, he's totally un-aware of people talking to him - aside from his family members.

At the end of the class, I ask the father to do something about this issue. The father explains to me that he can't do anything and the kid can't control his body. I reacted by saying "so this is now my problem?" father just shakes his head and retreats, I asked him if they could get him to have a bowel movement before class, or feed him dinner after class, not before. No response from the father.

The kid is harmless, he's never going to be independent and his only infraction is 4 years of stink bombs. Yes, I am not going to win any awards for empathy, compassion, but in defence of myself - it did take 4 years for me to blow up on this issue. I feel for the parents, this is a hard cross to bear, I didn't make it any lighter.

I don't know much about autistic spectrum, other than we have a niece who is on that spectrum, but she is no where near this poor kid.

I am considering that for next Monday, if the Dad and son are attending, I will apologise for my outburst. Maybe ask the kid to pull my finger?

What would you do?
 
Originally Posted By: dogememe
forget about it or go to a different class


This is probably the best course of action. I don't think KGMtech was being unreasonable. I go to the gym all the time, and people are there to put work in not have issues like this. But, in this case its either the kid stops going, or you do. Not great answers for anyone but they're really the only ones.
 
That stinks....

I agree with the above. I think the dad could do something but you can tell he doesn't want to. So that'd a dead end. Unless you can somehow get the Y to uninvite them.
 
Buy some charcoal-activated underwear for the kid.

Or buy a gas mask, for yourself.


Seriously though, that's a tough one. I don't think I'd be able to put up with it for 4 years. I would have quit that class a long time ago.
 
any other autistic families you know? what would they say? change in diet? beano - there will be no gas? pills? Others in class stand with you? shouldn't be just you. You seem a leader, but proposing a solution and showing that other people are involved may be a wiser choice.
 
Pickup a used exercise bike on CL, workout at home or join LA Fitness and sign up for one of their spin classes.
 
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Maybe it's time to get out of the Y and go to a new trendy "Bike Bar" type place...


The thing about my idea is that some of the girls I see walking in or out of these places are just amazing!
 
One of my co-workers suggested I bring a lighter, when the opportunity is presented, show the class the 'blue flame' option.

I don't want to change classes, the timing works for my schedule and I enjoy others at this class.

I strongly suspect that because the class starts at 7:15pm, the kid has had dinner before class. As adults we all know that nature is not unlike a railroad....there are advance signals of a train coming down the tracks.
 
Originally Posted By: KGMtech
As adults we all know that nature is not unlike a railroad....there are advance signals of a train coming down the tracks.

One of those things we learn to control in consideration of others, but an autistic mind probably does not work the same way.
 
Originally Posted By: KGMtech
One of my co-workers suggested I bring a lighter, when the opportunity is presented, show the class the 'blue flame' option.

I don't want to change classes, the timing works for my schedule and I enjoy others at this class.

I strongly suspect that because the class starts at 7:15pm, the kid has had dinner before class. As adults we all know that nature is not unlike a railroad....there are advance signals of a train coming down the tracks.


Maybe just burn one of those incense candles
smile.gif
 
Just live with it if you can't change classes. Life is not always how you want it to be. It is not the kid or his dad's fault, I'd not say you are the bad guy but the way you say "so this is now my problem?" seems immature.
 
Can you sit upstream from a fan in the room? Or can they crack open a window so that the odor isn't an issue?

You won't win this battle because it's a heartstring issue. Nobody wants to be THAT GUY.

Or just go to a private gym. The YMCA attracts all kinds since it's usually community funded or whatever.
 
My wife teaches special needs kids in high school; two of which are on the Autism spectrum. My general impression is that being the parents of a special needs kid is tough, tough business. My guess is "people in a spin class not appreciating my kid [censored]" is in no way, shape or form on their radar of actionable problems in their life, nor is minor confrontation going to influence them towards compliance to your wishes.

My strategy from here on in, if I were you, would be to show up for the next class with a coffee and a sincere apology to the dad, who has an even greater burden to bear without mom and her bum knees to help out. **Your feelings have been communicated**, and a show of understanding and compassion will be a much more effective way of having him consider how he could put even more stuff on his plate to appease a stranger's will than contempt and confrontation.
 
You said what everybody else was thinking. Wrong is just wrong. Period. Everyone is so caught up in everybody else's feelings. Father should have taken care of the problem well before it got to this point. You don't owe and apology to ANYBODY. Father should make his own arrangements regarding his child instead of making everybody else uncomfortable. It's called responsibility and don't give me the autism speech or how insensitive I am. F that.
 
Next time you're working out and that happens,just start letting out the loudest most obnoxious burps you can generate haha.
 
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