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Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA #4645905
01/25/18 12:55 PM
01/25/18 12:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,006
SW Ontario Canada
KGMtech Offline OP
KGMtech  Offline OP
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,006
SW Ontario Canada
I've been doing spin classes (stationary bike class) for about 7 years at my local YMCA, I go 2x per week and rarely miss a class unless I'm sick or travelling. Most of the spin class participants are regulars too.

There is one family that attends with their son who is autistic. My wife found out years ago that the parents bring this kid to class to burn off some energy so he will sleep properly at night. Parents are now in their 60's and son is about 20 if I guess correctly. This family started attending about 4 years ago. In the last 3 years it's just the father and son, the mom has issues with her knees.

So, this kid farts. The class is in a closed room, one ceiling fan. We are all working hard. Nobody smells great at end of class, but whatever.
When this kid started attending 4 years ago, if he [censored], he'd yell out "EXCUSE ME" and keep going. Co-incidentally as his mom stopped going to class - the kid passes gas loudly and doesn't make any apology - his dad doesn't even acknowledge the events.

Back in November I complained to the instructor about his issue, she agreed that it had gotten worse, and she would talk with father.
I suspect there was no discussion with anyone.

So last Monday evening, we are 15 minutes into a 45 minute class and this kid has released 3 loud bombs, stinking up the room. I blurted out:
"Really xxxxx, 3 times already? !!" The kid doesn't know I was talking to him, he's totally un-aware of people talking to him - aside from his family members.

At the end of the class, I ask the father to do something about this issue. The father explains to me that he can't do anything and the kid can't control his body. I reacted by saying "so this is now my problem?" father just shakes his head and retreats, I asked him if they could get him to have a bowel movement before class, or feed him dinner after class, not before. No response from the father.

The kid is harmless, he's never going to be independent and his only infraction is 4 years of stink bombs. Yes, I am not going to win any awards for empathy, compassion, but in defence of myself - it did take 4 years for me to blow up on this issue. I feel for the parents, this is a hard cross to bear, I didn't make it any lighter.

I don't know much about autistic spectrum, other than we have a niece who is on that spectrum, but she is no where near this poor kid.

I am considering that for next Monday, if the Dad and son are attending, I will apologise for my outburst. Maybe ask the kid to pull my finger?

What would you do?


2017.5 Nissan Rogue SV FWD
2013 Nissan Maxima SV
2009 Ford Flex SEL FWD
1984 Yamaha XJ750RL
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645909
01/25/18 12:57 PM
01/25/18 12:57 PM
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 946
SF BAY AREA, CA
dogememe Offline
dogememe  Offline
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 946
SF BAY AREA, CA
forget about it or go to a different class


2007 Crown Vic P71 4.6 ~126K Miles, Royal Purple HPS 5W-30, Royal Purple Filter, Daily Driver, 5K OCIs.
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Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645914
01/25/18 01:02 PM
01/25/18 01:02 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,454
Baltimore, Maryland, USA
zzyzzx Offline
zzyzzx  Offline
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 4,454
Baltimore, Maryland, USA
Everybody farts!

Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645915
01/25/18 01:02 PM
01/25/18 01:02 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,638
Buffalo, NY
Nickdfresh Offline
Nickdfresh  Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,638
Buffalo, NY
Maybe it's time to get out of the Y and go to a new trendy "Bike Bar" type place...

Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: dogememe] #4645916
01/25/18 01:03 PM
01/25/18 01:03 PM
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 949
PA,US
HemiHawk Offline
HemiHawk  Offline
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 949
PA,US
Originally Posted By: dogememe
forget about it or go to a different class


This is probably the best course of action. I don't think KGMtech was being unreasonable. I go to the gym all the time, and people are there to put work in not have issues like this. But, in this case its either the kid stops going, or you do. Not great answers for anyone but they're really the only ones.


2016 Nissan Frontier Pro4x
2017 VW GTI sport
1995 Mustang GTS
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645917
01/25/18 01:03 PM
01/25/18 01:03 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 1,278
WI
HoosierJeeper Offline
HoosierJeeper  Offline
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 1,278
WI
That stinks....

I agree with the above. I think the dad could do something but you can tell he doesn't want to. So that'd a dead end. Unless you can somehow get the Y to uninvite them.


15 Jeep KL Limited V6: Formula Shell 5W20
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Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645921
01/25/18 01:05 PM
01/25/18 01:05 PM
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 36,293
Great Lakes
Quattro Pete Offline
Quattro Pete  Offline
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 36,293
Great Lakes
Buy some charcoal-activated underwear for the kid.

Or buy a gas mask, for yourself.


Seriously though, that's a tough one. I don't think I'd be able to put up with it for 4 years. I would have quit that class a long time ago.


'02 530i (Edge 0W-40)
'15 Q5 3.0T (Edge 5W-40)
'18 Charger SRT (FF)
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645922
01/25/18 01:05 PM
01/25/18 01:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 728
indianapolis in
bmwjohn Offline
bmwjohn  Offline
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 728
indianapolis in
any other autistic families you know? what would they say? change in diet? beano - there will be no gas? pills? Others in class stand with you? shouldn't be just you. You seem a leader, but proposing a solution and showing that other people are involved may be a wiser choice.

Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645931
01/25/18 01:10 PM
01/25/18 01:10 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,040
Phoenix
dishdude Online content
dishdude  Online Content
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,040
Phoenix
Pickup a used exercise bike on CL, workout at home or join LA Fitness and sign up for one of their spin classes.


2018 Challenger SRT
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: Nickdfresh] #4645936
01/25/18 01:13 PM
01/25/18 01:13 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,638
Buffalo, NY
Nickdfresh Offline
Nickdfresh  Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,638
Buffalo, NY
Originally Posted By: Nickdfresh
Maybe it's time to get out of the Y and go to a new trendy "Bike Bar" type place...


The thing about my idea is that some of the girls I see walking in or out of these places are just amazing!

Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645944
01/25/18 01:22 PM
01/25/18 01:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,006
SW Ontario Canada
KGMtech Offline OP
KGMtech  Offline OP
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,006
SW Ontario Canada
One of my co-workers suggested I bring a lighter, when the opportunity is presented, show the class the 'blue flame' option.

I don't want to change classes, the timing works for my schedule and I enjoy others at this class.

I strongly suspect that because the class starts at 7:15pm, the kid has had dinner before class. As adults we all know that nature is not unlike a railroad....there are advance signals of a train coming down the tracks.


2017.5 Nissan Rogue SV FWD
2013 Nissan Maxima SV
2009 Ford Flex SEL FWD
1984 Yamaha XJ750RL
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645948
01/25/18 01:27 PM
01/25/18 01:27 PM
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 36,293
Great Lakes
Quattro Pete Offline
Quattro Pete  Offline
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 36,293
Great Lakes
Originally Posted By: KGMtech
As adults we all know that nature is not unlike a railroad....there are advance signals of a train coming down the tracks.

One of those things we learn to control in consideration of others, but an autistic mind probably does not work the same way.


'02 530i (Edge 0W-40)
'15 Q5 3.0T (Edge 5W-40)
'18 Charger SRT (FF)
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645950
01/25/18 01:33 PM
01/25/18 01:33 PM
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,638
Buffalo, NY
Nickdfresh Offline
Nickdfresh  Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 5,638
Buffalo, NY
Originally Posted By: KGMtech
One of my co-workers suggested I bring a lighter, when the opportunity is presented, show the class the 'blue flame' option.

I don't want to change classes, the timing works for my schedule and I enjoy others at this class.

I strongly suspect that because the class starts at 7:15pm, the kid has had dinner before class. As adults we all know that nature is not unlike a railroad....there are advance signals of a train coming down the tracks.


Maybe just burn one of those incense candles smile

Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645953
01/25/18 01:34 PM
01/25/18 01:34 PM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14,424
Silicon Valley
PandaBear Offline
PandaBear  Offline
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 14,424
Silicon Valley
Just live with it if you can't change classes. Life is not always how you want it to be. It is not the kid or his dad's fault, I'd not say you are the bad guy but the way you say "so this is now my problem?" seems immature.


"You keep asking questions PandaBear and you'll end up a vegetarian like my wife" - Camu Mahubah
Re: Was I the bad guy? incident at my YMCA [Re: KGMtech] #4645965
01/25/18 01:47 PM
01/25/18 01:47 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,159
USA
Reddy45 Offline
Reddy45  Offline
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,159
USA
Can you sit upstream from a fan in the room? Or can they crack open a window so that the odor isn't an issue?

You won't win this battle because it's a heartstring issue. Nobody wants to be THAT GUY.

Or just go to a private gym. The YMCA attracts all kinds since it's usually community funded or whatever.

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