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#4602262 - 12/13/17 04:22 AM You know you are an Aussie
Shannow Offline


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 39846
Loc: 'Stralia
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/gffh3/you_know_youre_australian_if/

You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
You think it's normal to have a leader called Julia.
You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.
You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs''s refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bn'.
You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'.
You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
You call your best friend 'a total [censored]' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a [censored]'.
You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vitawheats to make little Vegemite worms.
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
Hamburger with Beetroot? Of course!
You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of The Angels song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'.
You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
You wear ugg boots outside the house.
You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
You believe that the more you shorten someones name the more you like them.
Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite.
You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.
You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.
When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in O: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc.
You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like [censored]. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet
to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You've drank your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam.
You own a Bond's chesty. In several different colours.
You've ordered a steak the size of your head and only paid $5 at your local RSL.
You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, but not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Strayla" and that's ok.

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#4602266 - 12/13/17 04:37 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
Claud Offline


Registered: 02/11/14
Posts: 593
Loc: Margate England
You know every Pom alive is responsible for everything bad that ever happened to Australia.
But still refer to Britain as "the Mother Country".

You know losing the Ashes might bring down the Government.

You know that [censored] happens, and don't sue somebody when anything untoward happens.

You think Kevin Bloody Wilson should be minister for cultural affairs.

You understand Australian rules football.

You clean up after yourselves when you have a barbie in a public park.

Claud.



Edited by Kestas (12/16/17 06:35 AM)
Edit Reason: Language

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#4602267 - 12/13/17 04:40 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Claud]
Shannow Offline


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 39846
Loc: 'Stralia
Yeah, they work too !!!

You guys gave us Roots Group, BMC, and Lucas Electrics...we hate them, but remember them fondly

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#4602281 - 12/13/17 05:14 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
SR5 Offline


Registered: 07/07/15
Posts: 4460
Loc: Down Under
Fat people must be called Slim,
Red haired people must be called Blue.
_________________________
Penrite Vantage 10W40 SN & A3/B4 + Wesfil-Cooper Z154

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#4602312 - 12/13/17 06:47 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
Claud Offline


Registered: 02/11/14
Posts: 593
Loc: Margate England
What are your chances Slim?.

What's your favourite colour Blue?.

What d'you do to keep fit Sport?.

Australia's a bonza place,
It's full of bonza blokes,
There's lots of beer
And no-ones [censored],
Except in Pommie jokes. M Python.

Australians are bonza blokes
They're God's own chosen race,
And if the see a fairy Pom
They'll smash him in the face. M Python.


Claud.

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#4602326 - 12/13/17 07:23 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
NibbanaBanana Offline


Registered: 05/23/16
Posts: 292
Loc: New England
That's funny. One of my best friends was from Oz. One of the very rare genuine friends I have made as an adult. Very down to earth as I've found all Aussies. An excellent mechanic. Taught me a lot. And very, very cheap. Whenever I get away with a cheap, Rube Goldberg type repair, I say to my wife, "Pearson would be proud of this one".
_________________________
1993 Ford E350 5.8L, 68K
2002 Ford E150 4.2L, 85K
2006 Chevy Aveo 1.6L 215K
2013 Kia Reo 1.4L, 101K
7500 OCI, M1 5-30 winter, M1 10-30 summer

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#4602328 - 12/13/17 07:26 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Claud]
SR5 Offline


Registered: 07/07/15
Posts: 4460
Loc: Down Under
Yep, a lazy person must be called Sport,
A drunk or deadbeat must be called Champ.

And all of them must accept it with good humour, or they are a wanker. But if they take it in their stride, they are bonza.
_________________________
Penrite Vantage 10W40 SN & A3/B4 + Wesfil-Cooper Z154

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#4602333 - 12/13/17 07:39 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
doitmyself Offline


Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 6213
Loc: MI
John Denver enjoyed Australia, so it must be a nice place grin.......Sorry to put you through this, all you hard rock fans. Enjoy your day.

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#4602412 - 12/13/17 09:16 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
bigj_16 Offline


Registered: 07/03/17
Posts: 1267
Loc: Douglas County, Colorado
I just found out not too long ago that they cut the alcohol in VB 8 or 10 years ago and they had a to raise it back up due to the outcry.

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#4602620 - 12/13/17 02:16 PM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: bigj_16]
Shannow Offline


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 39846
Loc: 'Stralia
Originally Posted By: bigj_16
I just found out not too long ago that they cut the alcohol in VB 8 or 10 years ago and they had a to raise it back up due to the outcry.


Yep, they dropped it a few tenths to move tax brackets, (amongst other things), and the customers revolted.

https://mumbrella.com.au/vb-returns-to-f...eir-beer-113951

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#4602648 - 12/13/17 02:43 PM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
Silk Offline


Registered: 07/26/03
Posts: 4552
Loc: New Zealand
Don't worry about the coins, over here they are used by size, so we use the $2 as a $1, and the $1 as a $2. No one reads the numbers on them. You can keeps your notes, but Aussie coins are legal tender.
_________________________
1987 BMW R65 - Penrite V Twin 20/50
2005 Nissan Expert - Gulf Western 10W-40
1996 Volvo T5 - Penrite HPR15 - 15W-60. Ryco syntec filter.

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#4615143 - 12/26/17 08:16 PM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
joaks Offline


Registered: 12/28/10
Posts: 869
Loc: San Diego, CA
Nothing about spiders?
_________________________
2011 Subaru Legacy

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#4615296 - 12/27/17 12:37 AM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: joaks]
Shannow Offline


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 39846
Loc: 'Stralia
Originally Posted By: joaks
Nothing about spiders?


When I was about 4, living in Bendigo, Victoria, Dad was building a shrine to Anubis greyhound kennel, with my Uncle Angelo (Italian born, he was/is my Godfather...don't know his last name).

Angelo was passing roof tiles up to my Dad, and Dad would flip them over, and tap them 3-4 times with a hammer.

Angelo called up "Jim, what are you doing, checking to see if the tiles are cracked by tapping them ?"

Dad..."No, just killing the redbacks".

If we had a bad day every time we came across a venomous spider, there would be never any good days in Oz.

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#4619137 - 12/30/17 07:33 PM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: Shannow]
vavavroom Offline


Registered: 10/31/17
Posts: 143
Loc: California
Originally Posted By: Shannow
'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'


I'll take a stab at that one: Darren and Sharon played AC/DC on the way to Mickey D's.

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#4619226 - 12/30/17 09:22 PM Re: You know you are an Aussie [Re: vavavroom]
Shannow Offline


Registered: 12/12/02
Posts: 39846
Loc: 'Stralia
Very good...

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