To keep it oil related I was mowing with a 33 EFI Kohler with 2.7 quarts of fresh Napa FS 15W50 filtered through a test bed FL910s MC filter and some 89 octane Valero gas set off the torch
I hauled the mower via a Big Tex OS trailer hooked to a donated 2000 Chevy Blazer that has been a garage queen all of its life.
Once I got to my remote property I began to unload the mower and all the ladies in the minivans waived to me because they know I'm a great guy ( yeah-lol) plus they love to see some dude killing himself out in the heat. Frolickingly I unload the mower and as I prepare to mow I assure myself what a special guy I really am (choke-spit)
Feeling like Speed Racer I start to carve up the landscape at a high rate of speed with my free Sig Sauer black cap to retain the heat on my sweltering scalp and a pair of space aged $3 sunglasses with some cheap but effective ear plugs. A few hundred yards away the UPS man waives and toots his horn. Again, he too must know how great of a guy I am. Then within seconds I avoid a Leopard frog and soon after a few small water snakes that are cooling off in the water filled tire ruts. I take time to reassure myself again how special I am ( you know people really do this)
At this point I'm starting to tire as those 750 yard blasts of rough and tumble ground are starting to break up like cheap conventional oil in a rat powered Vespa. So I take some idle time to sit a few minutes to watch the train go by at the end of the property. It is a very long and slow freight train and after a few minutes I start to get cross-eyed and figure it is time to pedal on. I bring the 33 EFI back to life and tach it high sky so I can feel the power.. I then have renewed hope I can carry on and finish up the 30% remaining grass. A neighbor from several hundred yards away peeks his head around a garage and waives to me.
he knows I am the man and he admires how great I look on this machine...... ( In reality he is waiving and laughing on how stupid I am mowing my own lawn and I look like a prized horses A...... (grin),, )
Like Newman in the recycling scam episode I now know the end is near. I go to pat myself on the back but my Lyme ridden joints won't let me. ( but the crowd still loves me-not!) I envision loading up the trailer and going on to the next. Again another job almost well done. Did I mention how special I am? ( uh yeah)
Out of nowhere this dag gone Pit Bull shows up. I mean like there isn't anything around and I only have like 20 more minutes to go. He starts violently attacking the mower deck and I fear I'm going to hurt him and this is a big mower and one slip I could go over him. At this point I ain't no fan of him but I don't want to kill him either. He appears that he is now trying to get up in the seat with me as I continue to mow. A few times I have to kill the mower so I don't chew him up. I guess he realizes how unspecial I am now. This continues for over 20 minutes until the sucker sees two deer at the bottom of the hill and chases them. I hurry and blow through the rest so I can load the mower before he returns. What a fiasco.
All the nonsense aside this really happened this morning. What a pain in the arse................
I wonder if he realized how special I was?????????? ( yeah-not!)