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#4475915 - 07/31/17 07:38 PM The Indian
CourierDriver Offline


Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 4943
Loc: Tn.

An Indian walks into a bar with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other.


He says to the bartender; “Want coffee."
The bartender says; "Sure Chief. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.
The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.
He walks up to the bar and says to the bartender; "Want coffee."
The bartender says; "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday! What was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says;
"Training for position in United States Congress! Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."
_________________________
Don't forget to play nice as much as possible...protect your family and carry what you need for them..PS don't leave home without backup....

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#4475932 - 07/31/17 07:51 PM Re: The Indian [Re: CourierDriver]
OneEyeJack Offline


Registered: 09/14/10
Posts: 7479
Loc: S California
A sad looking man is sitting at the bar. A tough guy sits next to him, takes his drink and swallows it down in one gulp.

The sad man starts crying. The tough guy laughs and says what's the problem little man?

The sad man says I was fired from my job, my kids left me, my wife divorced me, the bank repossessed my car, my dog bit me and my landlord through all my belongings out into the street. To top that off I poured a triple packet of fast acting poison into my beer and watched it dissolve. Then you come in here and drank my beer.

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#4475944 - 07/31/17 08:02 PM Re: The Indian [Re: OneEyeJack]
CourierDriver Offline


Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 4943
Loc: Tn.
Originally Posted By: OneEyeJack
A sad looking man is sitting at the bar. A tough guy sits next to him, takes his drink and swallows it down in one gulp.

The sad man starts crying. The tough guy laughs and says what's the problem little man?

The sad man says I was fired from my job, my kids left me, my wife divorced me, the bank repossessed my car, my dog bit me and my landlord through all my belongings out into the street. To top that off I poured a triple packet of fast acting poison into my beer and watched it dissolve. Then you come in here and drank my beer.
lmao
_________________________
Don't forget to play nice as much as possible...protect your family and carry what you need for them..PS don't leave home without backup....

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#4476005 - 07/31/17 08:53 PM Re: The Indian [Re: CourierDriver]
Dyusik Offline


Registered: 09/26/14
Posts: 1982
Loc: US-WA
Thanks guys, much needed today. LOL
_________________________
95 Cherokee 190K DELO 10W30,XG8
07 IS250 97K FB ?w??,FULL
04 YZF-R1 19K DELO 15w40,XG7317
99 HD XL1200S 18K 76 20w50,1515
14 RX450h 30k PP 0w20,NAPAG

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#4476101 - 07/31/17 10:50 PM Re: The Indian [Re: CourierDriver]
Wurlitzer Offline


Registered: 04/12/17
Posts: 78
Loc: Appalachia
A man was at a baseball game and went down into the stadium to get a hotdog. The line was extremely long and it took him forever to get to the front of the line. When he is finally about to order his hotdog he hears someone out in the crowd yell "HEY DAVE!! DAVE! COME HERE!" He gets out of line and runs out to see who had yelled and to find out what they wanted but he couldn't see who it was so he went back under the stadium and had to get in the back of the line again which was even longer now. He waits and waits and finally gets back to the front of the line. Right when he's about to order the hotdog he hears the man outside again yell "HEY DAVE COME OUT HERE, DAVE!!!" He steps out of line again and runs to see who was yelling but still couldn't make out who it was. The line at the concessions is even longer than ever now and so he gets in the back of the line again. Several minutes later, after missing much of the game, he finally gets to the front of the line and begins ordering his hotdog. While he is ordering he hears the man again yelling "HEY DAVE, DAVE COME HERE, DAVE!!!!" He runs out of line, out into the crowd, and this time he sees the man who was yelling and he responds to him: "HEY!!! MY NAME AIN'T DAVE!"

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#4476104 - 07/31/17 10:58 PM Re: The Indian [Re: CourierDriver]
Wurlitzer Offline


Registered: 04/12/17
Posts: 78
Loc: Appalachia
A young pastor, who looks just like Conway Twitty, moves into a new town to preach at a church. He goes door to door introducing himself to the community and to invite them to church. The first house he went to, an old woman answered the door and said "Oh my goodness, you're Conway Twitty!", he corrected her and said that he was just the new preacher in town and wanted to introduce himself. At the second house a young man answers the door and says "Hey, you're Conway Twitty!", "no", he says, "I'm just the new preacher in town and wanted to introduce myself". At the third house a beautiful, young, blonde woman answers the door with nothing but a bath towel wrapped around her and says "Oh my God! You're Conway Twitty!", and the pastor said "Hello Darling, nice to see you..."

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#4476694 - 08/01/17 04:16 PM Re: The Indian [Re: Wurlitzer]
CourierDriver Offline


Registered: 12/27/09
Posts: 4943
Loc: Tn.
Originally Posted By: Wurlitzer
A young pastor, who looks just like Conway Twitty, moves into a new town to preach at a church. He goes door to door introducing himself to the community and to invite them to church. The first house he went to, an old woman answered the door and said "Oh my goodness, you're Conway Twitty!", he corrected her and said that he was just the new preacher in town and wanted to introduce himself. At the second house a young man answers the door and says "Hey, you're Conway Twitty!", "no", he says, "I'm just the new preacher in town and wanted to introduce myself". At the third house a beautiful, young, blonde woman answers the door with nothing but a bath towel wrapped around her and says "Oh my God! You're Conway Twitty!", and the pastor said "Hello Darling, nice to see you..."
good one
_________________________
Don't forget to play nice as much as possible...protect your family and carry what you need for them..PS don't leave home without backup....

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#4476722 - 08/01/17 05:02 PM Re: The Indian [Re: CourierDriver]
DeepFriar Offline


Registered: 10/31/13
Posts: 1370
Loc: Georgia
(still trying with Ole/Lena that won't be summarily removed)

Ole comes home early and goes into the bedroom. And Lena is standing there naked. Lena, says Ole, vy are you standing dere naked? I haf nutting to vear Ole. Ya shur, says Ole, you have many dresses in da closet. He goes over, opens the closet and says, see, here is da red dress and here is the blue dress and here is, Oh, hi Sven! and den here is the green vun too.......

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#4508364 - 09/05/17 07:23 PM Re: The Indian [Re: DeepFriar]
Kira Offline


Registered: 08/19/10
Posts: 5241
Loc: Champlain/Hudson Valley
"Is dems da Yaps", said a Norwegian lady sitting behind my grandmother in a movie theatre featuring a war movie during WWII.

It's a stand alone family joke to this day.

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