The Shoe Box

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A couple has been married for 60 years. And to stay together for that long you have to be completely honest with your partner. So the husband and wife were very open, shared everything and didn’t have any secrets from each other. Well, almost… The wife kept a shoe box in the closet, which she had asked her husband not to open or even ask about.

And the man never thought about the box in 60 years, until the day his wife got very sick. The doctor said she wouldn’t make it. While trying to sort out their affairs, the husband took the shoe box to his wife’s bedside and she agreed it was time for him to see what was inside. The man’s eyes widened as he discovered $95000 and two crocheted dolls in the box.

“When we were to be married,” the old lady explained, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The husband was deeply touched, two dolls meant she was angry with him only twice in 60 years!
“Honey,” he said after overcoming the emotions “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh, that?” the wife said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
 
One of my favorites (always heard it as scarves of blankets she was knitting, same difference).

One of my other favorites:

An old married couple ate dinner every Monday night at the same diner in the same booth eating the same food.
One night, they were sitting there, the wife eating her soup, the husband eating his sandwich.
His wife puts her spoon down, stares off into the distance for a moment, turns and looks at her husband, and slaps him.
Shocked, he looks at her and says "What was that for?".
She says "That's for being a lousy lover for the past 50 years", and goes back to eating her soup.
He sets his sandwich down, looks at her, then looks blankly at the table, then back to her, then slaps her back.
She is very surprised, and says "why did you hit me back?".

He says "For knowing the difference".
 
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