Essex girl jokes

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How many of you know about Essex girl jokes?
For those who don't I will explain that they are based on the presumption that Essex (UK) girls are somewhat 'thick' and rather promiscuous.
Some of these jokes are not fit for this site but here is a clean example.

What do Essex girls do when a helicopter lands at Stansted airport?
They throw it some bread!
 
In this era and especially in California being PC and telling jokes doesn't mix well anymore. I have been able to tell my kids all the old racist, sexist and stereotypical jokes by not labeling the "people". The jokes are just as funny when saying 3 guys vs saying blank, a blank and a blank walk into a bar...
 
Sounds like you could replace "Essex girl" with "blonde" in the US and have the same effect.

A blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for her driving license.
The driver scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home, officer."
The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The driver scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde driver gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

Before anybody jumps on me, my wife, my daughter, and I all are/were blonde, so it is officially OK for me to share this joke.
;^)
 
Oh please, This is an example of people being foolish and childish.

1) We're grown ups now so we've know all the jokes for years. Try being originally witty rather that repeating tired, old jokes.
Unless, of course, you're stupid.
2) 3 GUYS walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this, A JOKE?" No. It has to be a priest, minister and a rabbi.
3) Re PC: People can handle being appropriate. It's not that hard.
"Being PC" is an inaccurate thing to say. It's unoriginal and overused.
But I see where you're coming from.

BTW: The Essex girl-Newfie-Kerryman thought the helicopter was a bird?
 
Originally Posted By: chrly919
I had a girl fried years ago...

Nice typo.

I've known blonde women who were the best source of "blonde" jokes.
 
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?.....................There have been occasional sightings of Bigfoot.
 
I never took offense at blonde jokes because I took them to be targeted at people who dyed their hair blonde, not natural blondes...people who might be taken to be obsessed with appearances, so clueless that they would think that people wouldn't notice the dark eyebrows and roots, etc. Of course, there is little stigma attached to people dyeing their hair now, so more recent generations may not get it.
Anyway, I felt that jokes about people who maybe had strange priorities were not nearly as offensive as those that targeted aspects of appearance that had nothing to do with "the content of their character" (one of my favorite turns of phrase).
 
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: Whitewolf
How many of you know about Essex girl jokes?
For those who don't I will explain that they are based on the presumption that Essex (UK) girls are somewhat 'thick' and rather promiscuous.
Some of these jokes are not fit for this site but here is a clean example.

What do Essex girls do when a helicopter lands at Stansted airport?
They throw it some bread!



thumbsup2.gif
thumbsup2.gif
 
How does an Essex girl turn the light on after a 'liason' with her boyfriend?

She opens the car door.
 
Originally Posted By: Kestas
Originally Posted By: chrly919
I had a girl fried years ago...

Nice typo.

I've known blonde women who were the best source of "blonde" jokes.


For sure, and Mrs. Molecule is one of those.
smile.gif
 
Originally Posted By: chrly919
I had a girl fried years ago that was 2nd gen Polish. She knew what I was doing when I told Italian jokes.


How much time did you have to do, and where did you get a big enough pan?
 
Originally Posted By: Jetronic
Originally Posted By: chrly919
I had a girl fried years ago that was 2nd gen Polish. She knew what I was doing when I told Italian jokes.


How much time did you have to do, and where did you get a big enough pan?


And what oil did you use?
 
Here's another,

Why did the Essex girl scale the glass wall?

To see what was on the other side of course!
 
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