Not Parental neglect.

[JimPghPA]

So I am standing in the check-out line at the local food store, and there is this father with his little girl who is about 4 or 5 years old. She first climbs on the side of his grocery cart and then she scampers off to the back of the checkout line and cuts over two check-out isles. He calls her back and she returns, and climbs on the side of his grocery cart again. Most of the adults notice that she only has on sox (no shoes). It is a unseasonably warm day but this is November in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania.

I guess the father knew that all the adults who noticed were thinking he has to be one negligent person to have her outside with no shoes in November, because he turned to us and said " I'm driving down the road, and she takes off her shoes and throws them out the window".

 

[tinmanSC]

out of control kids = parenting fail.

 

[bepperb]

That's funny.

out of control kids = parenting norm.

I should add that every car I've ever had/rented/driven has had a switch to disable power windows, another to keep the interior door handles from working... etc. I guess he learned his lesson the hard way.

 

[Jakegday]

and he didnt turn around and go get them, then put them on the daughter before entering the store?

 

[sciphi]

Let her learn the lesson of going with no shoes. Cold, wet feet may mean she does not throw her shoes out the window next time. Experience with consequences is an excellent teacher.

Possible kudos for following through on consequences.

 

[hate2work]

Originally Posted By: tinmanSC
out of control kids = parenting fail.


That's a pretty wide brush you're painting with. Every parent I know, including myself, has had trouble controling their child/children occasionally.

 

[gathermewool]

Originally Posted By: tinmanSC
out of control kids = parenting fail.


Grew up with the same set of parents as my brother. We're on entirely different levels no matter the metric.

 

[Kuato]

How is this parenting fail? Warm day, not raining so no cold feet. Maybe they just forgot the shoes - I know with my daughter we don't remember everything every time.

 

[daves87rs]

Originally Posted By: hate2work
Originally Posted By: tinmanSC
out of control kids = parenting fail.


That's a pretty wide brush you're painting with. Every parent I know, including myself, has had trouble controling their child/children occasionally.



+1

 

[Kestas]

Originally Posted By: bepperb
That's funny.

out of control kids = parenting norm.

I should add that every car I've ever had/rented/driven has had a switch to disable power windows, another to keep the interior door handles from working... etc. I guess he learned his lesson the hard way.

His first child?

Funny story.

 

[KrisZ]

Originally Posted By: tinmanSC
out of control kids = parenting fail.


I would have said the same thing not too long ago, but now that I have two kids on my own I don't see where it was parent failure. Lack of shoes brings some concern, but you can't put kids on a leash and expect them to obey your every order.

Also these days it's especially difficult to deal with your kid's misbehaviour in public, as everyone is very quick to call cops on you.

A lot of times I get those strange looks when my kids are crying because I did not buy candy or a toy they wanted, it's not as easy as some think.

 

[Smokescreen]

When I was kid and we misbehaved in public we got a warning from our parents, then upon second infraction, all my dad had to do was give us the known "look" and we knew that we were already locked in for reprimand...when we got home. There was no doubt that he would follow through with it either. So it was't long before we all 'clued in' and the warning was all we needed to keep in line.

If kids know where the line is and the reprimand that is affixed, they will seldom cross it.

 

[Pesca]

Smokescreen, are you sure this was the case also when you were 4 or 5?

I agree with you when the kids are older than say 7-8, but at 3-4, they still don't have the notion of cause and consequences.

At least, that is what I noticed with my child, what I try to explain to her teenager old sister: Her way of doing things with my toddler won't work... for now.

 

[Smokescreen]

Pesca....It sure was. Of course you wouldn't use the same explanations for all ages any more than you would teach Fast Fourier transforms to someone in the second grade.

Reprimands can come in all kinds. All equal with the child's ability to reason.

I don't agree. Kids have much more capacity to reason cause and consequences than we give them credit for. Let me pose the question: How old were you when you touched the hot iron/stove, or jumped from something and got hurt, and then you learned from the experience?

Once that trust of teacher/learner is established with a child, building on that so that they don't speed while on their bike or later on in the car or manifest its consequences is a natural progression.

 

[bigmike]

There was once a day when the parent could whip a kid's [censored] in public and everyone wouldn't think twice about it. In fact, some may have offered to do so for you if your hands were full or you were busy at the time.

But, that got in the way of "progress" and "child safety" and "rights."

 

[Kestas]

The News today talked about another case where parents are upset with the school. A kid was unruly on the bus and the principal stepped in to handle the situation. They have a video that showed the principal grabbed the kid by the shirt and jostled him a bit, no more than needed to get his attention. Yet the parents are taking issue with the school. Another mountain out of a molehill.

 

[Virtuoso]

Times are different now.

I cannot parent the same way that my parents did, or at least were able to do. If I did, I would at the very least have child protective services on my [censored].

Even if there is an accident, say my boy falls and hurts himself, a nurse could start the ball rolling on a nasty process that scares the [censored] out of many parents these days..

Ironic this is in the humor section, as it can get not so funny real fast.

 

[Pesca]

Originally Posted By: Smokescreen
Reprimands can come in all kinds. All equal with the child's ability to reason.

I don't agree. Kids have much more capacity to reason cause and consequences than we give them credit for. Let me pose the question: How old were you when you touched the hot iron/stove, or jumped from something and got hurt, and then you learned from the experience?

Once that trust of teacher/learner is established with a child, building on that so that they don't speed while on their bike or later on in the car or manifest its consequences is a natural progression.


There, you are talking about physical causes bringing physical consequences.
Sure, a kid falling from his/her bike by riding too fast will understand that biking fast is not that good.

In the case above, we are talking about illusive-for-kids causes (making noise, simply having fun) with not really physical consequences (noise, embarrassing the parents in front of strangers). For that, kids need to understand that they live in a society and not always at home, in a controlled environment, where they are allowed to do more things freely than in a store.

I am not sure they got that notion that early in age: My daughter sees clothes in a store as a nice way to play hide-and-seek, she doesn't care, for now, that is not our belongings but a store. But she sure did not like biking for at least two weeks after falling twice riding it.

 

[ethangsmith]

My wife and I tried helping out with the 3-6 year old Sunday School class in our church. It lasted about 1 month and we were done. No one including the 4 other teachers/helpers could control some of the kids. You could tell that even by 3 years old parenting was making a strong impact on the kids. And looking at the parents of the kids- most of who I grew up with- I can see why some of the kids behaved well and others did not. The parents that don't care what others think and are raising their children traditionally have much more behaved kids than the bleeding hearts softy parents. There is one couple that is one of those overly-friendly couples that is super laid-back and mild-mannered that has 2 children. They allow the children to do whatever they want and they don't punish them because they are too nice. Because of that, their children are by far the most unruly and rude of the bunch. Sorry, but if my wife and I have children, we've already decided that we will raise them the way our parents raised us- to respect each other, to behave, and if we get out of line, expect a good paddling!