So you need a new engine?

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A friend shared this on FB, so I can't take credit. crackmeup General Motors: Oh you need an engine? Pick any from a junkyard, from a vaguely similar car or truck within 10 years of yours. Everything should fit perfectly Chrysler: Oh you need an engine? Well, every single one is year and model and trim specific. **** you, that's why. Ford: Oh you need an engine? Just buy a parts vehicle it's probably like $175. Fords hold value worse than Bitcoin Toyota: Confirm your diagnosis you probably don't need an engine Mitsubishi: Oh you need an engine? Okay, here's a used one, but it's going to burn oil too Volkswagen: How does this engine cost more than the car what the f*** Honda: Confirm your diagnosis you probably don't need an engine. If you do, just grab some quarters and head over to a junkyard. Subaru: I'm sorry sir, every single Subaru owner just came and bought all of our used motors. The memes are true. Nissan: -implying that a Nissan transmission would last long enough to kill an engine Jaguar: Well now you know why you got a LuxUrY CaR sO cHeAp
 
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The German makes this sounds about right, however federally it's illegal to install an engine that's older than the vehicle.
 
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Originally Posted by 97prizm
The German makes this sounds about right, however federally it's illegal to install an engine that's older than the vehicle.
It's just a joke.
 
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This is hilariously accurate! There are several owners with Nissan VQ37's pushing 350k+ miles without a rebuild, and every one of them has a manual transmission car. You'd be more likely to find the Amber Room or the Ark of the Covenant then a Jatco automatic shifting right with 250k miles.
 
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Ford: Hey Panther Bodies are buy two get one free every Tuesdays at the auction, Resale? We bought Volvo and made it worse let that sink in. VW: Great news, it's not the engine, we just need a signature and $6k to diagnose all the electrical gremlins. Good news is a vape bro will always buy the car off you. Honda: Do be sure to service the replacement engine at our dealership, we clearly did such fine work the last time, but the car is worth something so there's that. KIA/Hyuandi: Great news, we are covering the engine cause are machining processes made a Chevy Vega look well built and now the car just needs these few ie $3500 or so other things. Infiniti: Hey what's $5k among friends for the 90k service, the car still costs less then MB, BMW and Audi. What's that? Oh were not friends, you can get it all done for an afternoon and $500 bucks of stuff at a local mechanic and you're not subsidizing our last decade of stupid products and marketing decisions with overpriced dealer maintenance on glorified 370z in a tux. Well um I guess we're screwed.
 
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Originally Posted by LotI
remember what Chrysler means... Company highly recommends you start learning engine repair
Toyota: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto Ford: Fix Or Repair Daily VW: Virtually Worthless Mopar: Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
 
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Originally Posted by Skippy722
Originally Posted by LotI
remember what Chrysler means... Company highly recommends you start learning engine repair
Toyota: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto Ford: Fix Or Repair Daily VW: Virtually Worthless Mopar: Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
I ran into a stand up comedian a few years ago after his show and the guy knew every one of these. I mean every manufacturer and he rattled them off like a savant on speed.
 
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Originally Posted by 97prizm
The German makes this sounds about right, however federally it's illegal to install an engine that's older than the vehicle.
I'll go out on a limb and conclude that the next person headed to jail for this crime will be the first one to do so.
 
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