Good advice above. I'm not religious either and stopped going to church many years ago. Now I watch Joel Osteen sunday nights at 8pm. Its a half hour show and really gives me a nice positive boost. Which lasts a week then I watch him again. One of the things I think that makes him different from all the other preachers is he's a quiet and shy guy by nature and overcame his fear of public speaking. The other ones seem like they love to hear themselves talk. It's on the religion channel and rerun several times during the week. Even ABC has him on early sunday moring at 730am but I'm still sleeping then.
I cant find happiness in my life anymore
- Thread starter Carnoobie
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Get a dog. A real smart dog like a Border Collie or Belgian Shepherd. They're great therapy and are a good way to socialize (meet women) on neutral territory.
Originally Posted By: CATERHAM
Get a dog. A real smart dog like a Border Collie or Belgian Shepherd. They're great therapy and are a good way to socialize (meet women) on neutral territory.
Definitely want to, have been for awhile now but cant really afford one and the landlord here doesnt allow dogs. I know sucks.
Get a dog. A real smart dog like a Border Collie or Belgian Shepherd. They're great therapy and are a good way to socialize (meet women) on neutral territory.
Definitely want to, have been for awhile now but cant really afford one and the landlord here doesnt allow dogs. I know sucks.
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Yea, used to be there. Hold on, man, good things will come.
Check out some local churches; they have people who care and will have support for you. It really, really, straghtened me out with a few things that are similar.
Please, feel free to PM me and we'll chat.
My mom has been bugging me to go to church for awhile now but i keep telling her im not into god and bible readings and im just not a religious person. Id go, but it would be to meet new people and hopefully a girlfriend, which is kind of deceiving if you ask me no? Plus i would go alone, i know church theres tons of groups who always hang out and mingle. I would feel like a complete loser going by myself.
Btw i have a few churches in my neighbourhood.
Oh please don't feel like a loser going by yourself. I went by myself for several years and I have developed medical devices that have saves hundreds of thousands of lives. I am not a loser. I did not need a doctor or drugs. I identified some things about me, took care of it and that was all I needed.
Go to an independent one that is "relavant to our lives today"... It's ok to go, trust me. They are NOT about religion. Plus, after you die and "if" there's no God, you have made improvements in your life by following "Real + Relavant" messages and guidance, your life just got better!
Please shoot me a PM after you go.
Didnt really think Church was acceptable for non religious people like me. I will have to check out the ones near me this Sunday perhaps. Maybe go in the day before to see what time people show up on Sunday for it.
Trust me, a real church isn't just for church people. They are for everyone. Outward looking, not inward looking. We grow 20% every year, year after year. We have 13,000+ people every weekend. It grows when it's "right" Go to a positive, growing church. We're here for you and not giving up on you.
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Yea, used to be there. Hold on, man, good things will come.
Check out some local churches; they have people who care and will have support for you. It really, really, straghtened me out with a few things that are similar.
Please, feel free to PM me and we'll chat.
My mom has been bugging me to go to church for awhile now but i keep telling her im not into god and bible readings and im just not a religious person. Id go, but it would be to meet new people and hopefully a girlfriend, which is kind of deceiving if you ask me no? Plus i would go alone, i know church theres tons of groups who always hang out and mingle. I would feel like a complete loser going by myself.
Btw i have a few churches in my neighbourhood.
Oh please don't feel like a loser going by yourself. I went by myself for several years and I have developed medical devices that have saves hundreds of thousands of lives. I am not a loser. I did not need a doctor or drugs. I identified some things about me, took care of it and that was all I needed.
Go to an independent one that is "relavant to our lives today"... It's ok to go, trust me. They are NOT about religion. Plus, after you die and "if" there's no God, you have made improvements in your life by following "Real + Relavant" messages and guidance, your life just got better!
Please shoot me a PM after you go.
Didnt really think Church was acceptable for non religious people like me. I will have to check out the ones near me this Sunday perhaps. Maybe go in the day before to see what time people show up on Sunday for it.
Trust me, a real church isn't just for church people. They are for everyone. Outward looking, not inward looking. We grow 20% every year, year after year. We have 13,000+ people every weekend. It grows when it's "right" Go to a positive, growing church. We're here for you and not giving up on you.
Originally Posted By: mongo161
You may be suffering from depression. IMO...the best advice that I could give you, would be to see a physician and get some referrals to see a trained professional.
I've known people who have had these same symptoms and with treatment...they are much happier today. In some cases it is just some kind of "chemical imbalance" or it could be hereditary.
Don't be ashamed...or afraid....just get some good medical advice. Lots of people have changed, for the better, once they seek out some medical advice. In today's society....this is very common and it is treatable if you want to get well and feel better.
This. There are good suggestions in this thread, but your brain chemistry is the foundation. If that isn't correct, all the more superficial actions will be irrelevant.
You may be suffering from depression. IMO...the best advice that I could give you, would be to see a physician and get some referrals to see a trained professional.
I've known people who have had these same symptoms and with treatment...they are much happier today. In some cases it is just some kind of "chemical imbalance" or it could be hereditary.
Don't be ashamed...or afraid....just get some good medical advice. Lots of people have changed, for the better, once they seek out some medical advice. In today's society....this is very common and it is treatable if you want to get well and feel better.
This. There are good suggestions in this thread, but your brain chemistry is the foundation. If that isn't correct, all the more superficial actions will be irrelevant.
I called my church and theres 2 readings every Sunday. I asked how many people attend roughly and he said anywhere from 480-550. Holy **** thats a lot. Not gonna lie, will be nervous going this Sunday for the first time and alone.
When I was 22, I went to a huge concert here by myself and all i did was sip on my soda. The night feel really awkward cause everyone there was with friends and mingling where i was by myself. I really wanted to see the group and thats why i went, but when i got out i was relieved not to be seen anymore
When I was 22, I went to a huge concert here by myself and all i did was sip on my soda. The night feel really awkward cause everyone there was with friends and mingling where i was by myself. I really wanted to see the group and thats why i went, but when i got out i was relieved not to be seen anymore
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JHZR2
Staff member
I know that the no girlfriend thing can be real depressing. Made me upset from time to time when it was the situation.
But I really think that video games and internet help perpetuate the situation. Too easy to get mad and down. Places like BITOG, you do have friends, caring people and even if sometimes seeming a bit harsh, well-meaning advice. Lots of other places on the net just create more polarity.
Make sure that youre not skewed by women's images as portrayed on TV or worse, internet porn.
Do you live in a very sparse area in Canada? If there is low population density, perhaps the communities are harder to crack.
I would go to church with an open mind and open heart. See what the folks there act like. Some are very genuine, others are just out for their agenda.
Youll find your way, but figure out your triggers that make you feel bad, and try to get involved in stuff. Id even consider moving to try to set up a clean slate. Sometimes a nice vacation can set you on the right foot again as well...
keep talking to us here!
But I really think that video games and internet help perpetuate the situation. Too easy to get mad and down. Places like BITOG, you do have friends, caring people and even if sometimes seeming a bit harsh, well-meaning advice. Lots of other places on the net just create more polarity.
Make sure that youre not skewed by women's images as portrayed on TV or worse, internet porn.
Do you live in a very sparse area in Canada? If there is low population density, perhaps the communities are harder to crack.
I would go to church with an open mind and open heart. See what the folks there act like. Some are very genuine, others are just out for their agenda.
Youll find your way, but figure out your triggers that make you feel bad, and try to get involved in stuff. Id even consider moving to try to set up a clean slate. Sometimes a nice vacation can set you on the right foot again as well...
keep talking to us here!
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
I called my church and theres 2 readings every Sunday. I asked how many people attend roughly and he said anywhere from 480-550. Holy **** thats a lot. Not gonna lie, will be nervous going this Sunday for the first time and alone.
When I was 22, I went to a huge concert here by myself. The night feel really awkward cause everyone there was with friends and mingling where i was by myself. I really wanted to see the group and thats why i went, but when i got out i was relieved not to be seen anymore
Ok, great, glad you're going. Please just relax. Before you go & there. Grab a coffee or smoothie. We have "Funky Monkey's" & "Spring-sicle's"
I called my church and theres 2 readings every Sunday. I asked how many people attend roughly and he said anywhere from 480-550. Holy **** thats a lot. Not gonna lie, will be nervous going this Sunday for the first time and alone.
When I was 22, I went to a huge concert here by myself. The night feel really awkward cause everyone there was with friends and mingling where i was by myself. I really wanted to see the group and thats why i went, but when i got out i was relieved not to be seen anymore
Ok, great, glad you're going. Please just relax. Before you go & there. Grab a coffee or smoothie. We have "Funky Monkey's" & "Spring-sicle's"
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Trust me, a real church isn't just for church people. They are for everyone. Outward looking, not inward looking. We grow 20% every year, year after year. We have 13,000+ people every weekend. It grows when it's "right" Go to a positive, growing church. We're here for you and not giving up on you.
Im going to go to the church 3 blocks from me this Sunday morning. Anxious but curious to say the least. I know i cant expect to make friends on the first day so ill anticapate having to attend at least a handful of times.
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
I know that the no girlfriend thing can be real depressing. Made me upset from time to time when it was the situation.
But I really think that video games and internet help perpetuate the situation. Too easy to get mad and down. Places like BITOG, you do have friends, caring people and even if sometimes seeming a bit harsh, well-meaning advice. Lots of other places on the net just create more polarity.
Make sure that youre not skewed by women's images as portrayed on TV or worse, internet porn.
Do you live in a very sparse area in Canada? If there is low population density, perhaps the communities are harder to crack.
I would go to church with an open mind and open heart. See what the folks there act like. Some are very genuine, others are just out for their agenda.
Youll find your way, but figure out your triggers that make you feel bad, and try to get involved in stuff. Id even consider moving to try to set up a clean slate. Sometimes a nice vacation can set you on the right foot again as well...
keep talking to us here!
From what ive noticed, what triggers my depression and anger is spending too much time alone and thinking about the past. Whehter its mistakes I made, regrets, bad choices, etc.
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Ok, great, glad you're going. Please just relax. Before you go & there. Grab a coffee or smoothie. We have "Funky Monkey's" & "Spring-sicle's"
Ill be honest, reading the funky moneys comment made me laugh. Probably the first time ive smiled in the past week.
Trust me, a real church isn't just for church people. They are for everyone. Outward looking, not inward looking. We grow 20% every year, year after year. We have 13,000+ people every weekend. It grows when it's "right" Go to a positive, growing church. We're here for you and not giving up on you.
Im going to go to the church 3 blocks from me this Sunday morning. Anxious but curious to say the least. I know i cant expect to make friends on the first day so ill anticapate having to attend at least a handful of times.
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
I know that the no girlfriend thing can be real depressing. Made me upset from time to time when it was the situation.
But I really think that video games and internet help perpetuate the situation. Too easy to get mad and down. Places like BITOG, you do have friends, caring people and even if sometimes seeming a bit harsh, well-meaning advice. Lots of other places on the net just create more polarity.
Make sure that youre not skewed by women's images as portrayed on TV or worse, internet porn.
Do you live in a very sparse area in Canada? If there is low population density, perhaps the communities are harder to crack.
I would go to church with an open mind and open heart. See what the folks there act like. Some are very genuine, others are just out for their agenda.
Youll find your way, but figure out your triggers that make you feel bad, and try to get involved in stuff. Id even consider moving to try to set up a clean slate. Sometimes a nice vacation can set you on the right foot again as well...
keep talking to us here!
From what ive noticed, what triggers my depression and anger is spending too much time alone and thinking about the past. Whehter its mistakes I made, regrets, bad choices, etc.
Originally Posted By: tpitcher
Ok, great, glad you're going. Please just relax. Before you go & there. Grab a coffee or smoothie. We have "Funky Monkey's" & "Spring-sicle's"
Ill be honest, reading the funky moneys comment made me laugh. Probably the first time ive smiled in the past week.
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Church may be okay but don't set your expectations high. They vary drastically.
A Dr or therapist can help possibly get you just over the hump.
But reality is you need to be happy by yourself before you can truly be happy with others.
Good luck. I am still working on it, trying not to be negative.
A Dr or therapist can help possibly get you just over the hump.
But reality is you need to be happy by yourself before you can truly be happy with others.
Good luck. I am still working on it, trying not to be negative.
Maybe you are just bashful at asking women out ?
You shouldn't compare yourself with others in your age group that live a different lifestyle (married, wife, kids, career, accomplishments.... etc) cause that will only make you depressed. Its very difficult to find genuine friends that are not opportunists and only want to use people when its convenient. I understand when you say its hard to find good people to hang out with.
How are you paying your rent and bills if you are not currently working ?
I agree that you need to stop spending money if you are bored or feeling blue.
You shouldn't compare yourself with others in your age group that live a different lifestyle (married, wife, kids, career, accomplishments.... etc) cause that will only make you depressed. Its very difficult to find genuine friends that are not opportunists and only want to use people when its convenient. I understand when you say its hard to find good people to hang out with.
How are you paying your rent and bills if you are not currently working ?
I agree that you need to stop spending money if you are bored or feeling blue.
You're able to look at yourself from outside/ critically and see some stuff that needs adjusting. That's a huge step.
And yeah see a doctor about that angle. What you tell a doctor never leaves that room; you can even see another doctor in another practice if you want anonymity there.
Any church that judges you over your dogma or your previous lapse is a church not worth going to, IMO. Most church activity I see is just social groups anyway, but that's the agnostic in me talking. PS I raised heck as a teenager under the perfect cover, a "church youth group". The old adage is true about preachers hitting skid row to preach to those who skip services.
The world is challenging with energy needs, unemployment, population growth, pollution, etc. There's a reason it's literally called a depression. Folks would go out doing jobs, IMO, and spending money freely if there were something new to do, some new mountain to conquer, new toy, whatever but they aren't. So the economy isn't growing and we're all just sitting around twiddling our thumbs philosophizing about stuff.
Since you're single you probably have lots of time (how I'd like to trade for that, having a full time job and two little kids), maybe take time for yourself either in a class, going hiking, something new, and something forced. Get out of the computer cave, in other words.
Hang in there and hang in here, lots of smart minds on this BBS.
And yeah see a doctor about that angle. What you tell a doctor never leaves that room; you can even see another doctor in another practice if you want anonymity there.
Any church that judges you over your dogma or your previous lapse is a church not worth going to, IMO. Most church activity I see is just social groups anyway, but that's the agnostic in me talking. PS I raised heck as a teenager under the perfect cover, a "church youth group". The old adage is true about preachers hitting skid row to preach to those who skip services.
The world is challenging with energy needs, unemployment, population growth, pollution, etc. There's a reason it's literally called a depression. Folks would go out doing jobs, IMO, and spending money freely if there were something new to do, some new mountain to conquer, new toy, whatever but they aren't. So the economy isn't growing and we're all just sitting around twiddling our thumbs philosophizing about stuff.
Since you're single you probably have lots of time (how I'd like to trade for that, having a full time job and two little kids), maybe take time for yourself either in a class, going hiking, something new, and something forced. Get out of the computer cave, in other words.
Hang in there and hang in here, lots of smart minds on this BBS.
Hang in there man. I was going through a rough time after I lost my job back in 08. That in addition to family stuff really had me depressed.
Definitely seek out help. There are many options and ways to improve your mental health. A lot of what was suggested above can help. See what works for you. It may be medication, or it may just be situational.
Most importantly, try and do what you like to do and makes you happy.
Definitely seek out help. There are many options and ways to improve your mental health. A lot of what was suggested above can help. See what works for you. It may be medication, or it may just be situational.
Most importantly, try and do what you like to do and makes you happy.
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
So on weekends i stay home and play on my PS3 or xbox 360 or on the computer, or watch tv.
Those video games rot your brain, throw them in the garbage and kick in the TV.
I was just reading an article the other day how much time is spent these days by many boys, and men, playing video games, something on the order of 6-8 hours a day on average I believe. A whole generation of socially akward zombies is being created. Its an addition.
Their social skills suffer to the point where they don't know how to interact act with real people anymore. Not saying this is the case with you but it can't be helping matters and you may not recognize it anyway.
Also, sometimes when you try too hard to be friends with people right away it can scare them off.
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
So on weekends i stay home and play on my PS3 or xbox 360 or on the computer, or watch tv.
Those video games rot your brain, throw them in the garbage and kick in the TV.
I was just reading an article the other day how much time is spent these days by many boys, and men, playing video games, something on the order of 6-8 hours a day on average I believe. A whole generation of socially akward zombies is being created. Its an addition.
Their social skills suffer to the point where they don't know how to interact act with real people anymore. Not saying this is the case with you but it can't be helping matters and you may not recognize it anyway.
Also, sometimes when you try too hard to be friends with people right away it can scare them off.
Originally Posted By: Rock_Hudstone
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
So on weekends i stay home and play on my PS3 or xbox 360 or on the computer, or watch tv.
Those video games rot your brain, throw them it in the garbage and kick in the TV.
I was just reading an article the other day how much time is spent these days by many boys, and men, playing video games, something on the order of 6-8 hours a day on average I believe. A whole generation of socially akward zombies is being created
Their social skills suffer to the point where the don't know how to interact act with real people anymore.
Not saying this is the case with you be it can't be helping matters and you may not recognize it anyway.
Sometimes when you try too hard to be friends with people right away it can scare them off.
Right!
Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
So on weekends i stay home and play on my PS3 or xbox 360 or on the computer, or watch tv.
Those video games rot your brain, throw them it in the garbage and kick in the TV.
I was just reading an article the other day how much time is spent these days by many boys, and men, playing video games, something on the order of 6-8 hours a day on average I believe. A whole generation of socially akward zombies is being created
Their social skills suffer to the point where the don't know how to interact act with real people anymore.
Not saying this is the case with you be it can't be helping matters and you may not recognize it anyway.
Sometimes when you try too hard to be friends with people right away it can scare them off.
Right!
You know each of us are different. Me I find volunteering helping someone else makes things look alot better. I find too those who too volunteer are those who you really want to meet in life. Volunteering gets rid of the me, me, me, me part of life and wow. Try it, somebody could use whatever you do, try it bet it works for you. Been volunteering at a childrens hospital 7 yrs this July the kids teach me to live in the moment, something my age group forgot how to do. Give to get!!IMHO
You need to start immersing yourself in motivational speakers. Turn off the video games and get on youtube.
Check out Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn and Les Brown for starters.
Here is a video you can check out. It'll put a smile on your face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y28VE032F40&feature=related
Hang in there, you need to change what you are doing to head where you want to go!
Regards, JC.
Check out Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn and Les Brown for starters.
Here is a video you can check out. It'll put a smile on your face.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y28VE032F40&feature=related
Hang in there, you need to change what you are doing to head where you want to go!
Regards, JC.
gathermewool
Site Donor 2025
Originally Posted By: CATERHAM
Get a dog. A real smart dog like a Border Collie or Belgian Shepherd. They're great therapy and are a good way to socialize (meet women) on neutral territory.
+1 A friend of mine volunteers at the local shelter when she feels upset. Another volunteers just because. You get some of the benefits of owning a pet, but none of the responsibility.
Get a dog. A real smart dog like a Border Collie or Belgian Shepherd. They're great therapy and are a good way to socialize (meet women) on neutral territory.
+1 A friend of mine volunteers at the local shelter when she feels upset. Another volunteers just because. You get some of the benefits of owning a pet, but none of the responsibility.
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