So I bit the bullet and bought a UniFi setup. Have been having some issues with my setup and not pleased with the control I have over it. Also have issues with electronics obsessed children so need to isolate devices to SSIDs that I can shut off at night. Kind of guessed on what I needed. Got an express gateway and a couple of Swiss army Knives for APs. After I hit order and read some more I shouldn't have gotten two of those APs. They only do 802.11ac but I don't need the throughput so it will be fine for now. They will be good to use for outdoor APs in the future.
I only have a basic understanding of networking but think I can figure this out.
I made this thread last year about challenges of the house: https://bobistheoilguy.com/forums/threads/wireless-router-for-large-house-recomendations.368701/