Anthony Bourdain - RIP

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Originally Posted By: ZeeOSix
I wish people would make the first most important move when they are suffering from depression, and that is to reach out for help. In today's world there should be now shame felt by reaching out if someone needs help. And on the flip side, if someone detects that someone is having mental struggles they might want to make ask them about it and reach out with an offer to help.


This region has a massive epidemic of suicide at present...

It's great to see the slogan "It ain't weak to speak" emblazoned on so many cars in the district, just to try to get the word out that people are here to listen.

Originally Posted By: ZeeOSix
Originally Posted By: Donald
But it was still a selfish act.


Only from someone looking from the outside in. People that have never been in that deep depression state of mind will never understand how these people felt and thought.


At that specific point, they think that they will be doing everyone else a favour ...scarcely selfish.
 
Originally Posted By: Lolvoguy
who were they?
How can you say it was a "selfish act"?
You don't know what problems they were facing.
Could have been psychological issues that plagued them for years, making them a nuisance to family and those around them.

Everyone's so quick to judge
coffee2.gif



Suicide in general is selfish. People think they are a burden and suicide will help as the people around them will no longer have to care for them. But
the person who commits suicide has it wrong.
 
Originally Posted By: Donald


Suicide in general is selfish.

Can't stop beating the drum can you? They are not selfish, nor really do they think they are easing the burden of others. Its a mental disease..Get it?

Originally Posted By: spasm3
I have to wonder if the higher rate of anti-depressant use is a factor.

No
 
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Quote:
This region has a massive epidemic of suicide at present...

It's great to see the slogan "It ain't weak to speak" emblazoned on so many cars in the district, just to try to get the word out that people are here to listen


Why the high suicide rate in that region ?
 
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice

Why the high suicide rate in that region ?


http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-10-10/lithgow-suicide-crisis-in-shadow-of-springvale/9031072
http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/lithgow-struggles-with-economic-decline,-and-a/9036230
(BTW, I build the conveying and coal storage infrastructure at the power station in the opening of that video...was turbine engineer there for a decade)

Multifaceted...
Part of it is that the district that built Sydney (cement and steel), and powered 20% of the state (coal electricity) is in decline (much of that artificially imposed), and when you hear the people that drive up to protest, they don't like us.

Tough coal miners and rugby players don't talk...

But we are losing kids as well, so it's not just that. The regional events coordinator for the council took her life the other day.
 
Originally Posted By: Chris142
No clue who these people were.


I'd never heard of either person until this week.

But I have known some people that made the choice to end their lives on their own terms. In each case, seemingly no one knew they were contemplating such a thing. Also in each case, they left behind people grieving and wondering why.
 
My wife and kids are the only thing that have kept me alive for the past couple of years. Suicide is the cowards way out, but sometimes, the pain is great enough for some really dark thoughts.

Some succumb during the lowest of low times.
 
Originally Posted By: gathermewool
Suicide is the cowards way out, but sometimes, the pain is great enough for some really dark thoughts.


I don't think it's "the cowards way out". Just like the misconception that it's a "selfish act", until you're are in the same state of mind as someone a second away from commuting suicide (as you stated "really dark thoughts"), nobody here can not make conclusive statements of what the act of suicide is about to the person doing it.
 
I just can't figure out why these people who seem to be living a fantasy life take their own lives. For years I wondered what it would be like to be rich and famous, but lately I'm wondering if I wouldn't be able to handle it either...
 
Originally Posted By: Donald
Seems sad that two celebrities committed suicide by hanging in a week. One was a mother with a 13 yr old daughter. Yes she had depression. But it was still a selfish act. Her daughter will think she was not important enough for her mother to stick around.
Originally Posted By: PeterPolyol
The spike in popularity for suicide says just about all it needs to say about the ills and cancers in our society, rather than individuals. Why would Anthony Bourdain of all people do this? He was at work for cripe sake (dream job btw). Did he cross someone? Was his drugs laced with fentanyl? He was one of the good guys.
Originally Posted By: billt460
I agree. It's a selfish act. And that is exactly what the kids will grow up thinking. It is also being reported Bourdain had an 11 year old daughter. If people want to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for her..... Not him.
Originally Posted By: Donald
Suicide in general is selfish. People think they are a burden and suicide will help as the people around them will no longer have to care for them. But the person who commits suicide has it wrong.
Originally Posted By: gathermewool
My wife and kids are the only thing that have kept me alive for the past couple of years. Suicide is the cowards way out, but sometimes, the pain is great enough for some really dark thoughts. Some succumb during the lowest of low times.

  • Rather selfish of you Donald to jump so fast & so far to conclusions when you obviously don't understand the situation, much less the dynamic, nor the toll it takes on one over several decades. Second, I'm willing to bet her teenage daughter was all too familiar with her own Mother's moods. Not all teenagers are clueless. Third, how would you know what her daughter will think or does think? Particularly since you've demonstrated just how little thought you've given the situation before commenting...twice I might add.
    _
  • You need to THINK before you TYPE Donald. If you are not capable of the former, you should hesitate with regard to the later. Otherwise you come off as the fool you've outed by your own keyboard.
    _
  • If you want to understand Tony better PP, read his book. He was one intense, restless man, who lived on-the-edge using drugs at an early age to cope and continued to do so, for decades upon decades, even after fathering a child then divorcing a year later. He said he'd never retire as he's far too restless for that.
    _
  • Another one who knows exactly what Tony's daughter will think. See above.
    _
  • Back to prove to us your ignorance Donald? Do you think that's wise, doubling down on your own ignorance + knee-jerk reaction?
    _
  • More judgement from yet another. You make a rather bold statement, after describing your own issues, then back off.
    _
  • I DO agree this is a huge loss for their innocent, young daughters who are probably in a state of shock, thus not sure what to think or feel, and the LAST thing they need is all of the idiot media attention. As someone who lost both parents at an early age I can empathize. Losing any parent while young is bad enough without the media circus.
    _
  • This isn't the last of this. There will be more. Nearly as many die at their own hand as die from the flu every year. We recently passed Memorial Day. Many vets who physically made it back ended their lives on shore. Many have survivors who are young kids, wives, girlfriends and family. Odd how little mention they receive from the media. Perhaps they were not 'famous' enough? Their lives matter too. Do they too deserve to be labeled as "selfish"? Is that it? Is that all? After all, they volunteered for service. Leaving home, family, wives, kids...all of it to serve where ever they were sent.
    _
  • People are complex. Relationships between people even more so. Furthermore, Life isn't fair, nor is it equal, nor guaranteed. It is what it is.
 
Originally Posted By: grampi
I just can't figure out why these people who seem to be living a fantasy life take their own lives. For years I wondered what it would be like to be rich and famous, but lately I'm wondering if I wouldn't be able to handle it either...


Just goes to show that having all that can not make someone happy all the time. Every human being can be susceptible to a bad case of depression, and having money and fame doesn't prevent it. In fact, it may even add to the susceptibility.
 
Heard on the news tonight that Anthony Bourdain was having relationship problems with his girl friend, and had recently saw her in a romantic way with another guy in public. Romantic/love relationship problems can often trigger emotional pain and deep depression. Could be that was part of the issue.
 
Originally Posted By: ZeeOSix
Originally Posted By: grampi
I just can't figure out why these people who seem to be living a fantasy life take their own lives. For years I wondered what it would be like to be rich and famous, but lately I'm wondering if I wouldn't be able to handle it either...


Just goes to show that having all that can not make someone happy all the time. Every human being can be susceptible to a bad case of depression, and having money and fame doesn't prevent it. In fact, it may even add to the susceptibility.
I've always thought it would make it worst. "I have everything and I'm miserable." The have nots can blame something.
 
Interesting how we think fame and wealth would make suicide or even depression less likely. The lesson that seems to be right there in front of us, over and over, is that you can't buy happiness, as much as we dream that we could. We also won't find it in speculating and judging someone who makes such a tragic decision. How could we possibly know whether it was a selfish act or an act of deperation to relieve pain and anguish so severe, he couldn't feel anything else? Only God knows. I feel for his daughter and family. I can't imagine their pain, either.
 
Originally Posted By: Donald
Suicide in general is selfish. People think they are a burden and suicide will help as the people around them will no longer have to care for them. But the person who commits suicide has it wrong.


I agree with your first sentence. It is a selfish act. No question about it. However in Bourdain's case I doubt his reason was so that, "other people around him would no longer have to care for him". That thought itself is very unselfish. Bourdain left an 11 year old daughter. He did so because he wanted to end his own life far more than he cared about who would care for her. Or what effect his death would have on her. And she is a young, impressionable child, who has her whole life in front of her. He didn't give a dam about that, or her. If that isn't textbook selfish, then I don't know what is.

His death meant more to him than anyone else who was dependent on him. Again, that's about as selfish as you can get, no matter how you look at it. Especially when it's a young child. It's much the same with the alcoholic. They see what's happening to their lives, jobs, finances, families, and marriages. But they don't care. Because they would rather drink anyway. It's easier than getting the help they know they need to beat it. Just like the depressed suicidal person does. It's easier to 86 themselves and be done with it. These people toy with the idea of suicide for months. Some for years. Just like the alcoholic drinks. This process doesn't start on Monday, and end on Tuesday.

You can make excuses on their behalf, and feel sorry for them if you want to. Or if it helps make you feel better about yourself. But the result is the same regardless. They took what was for them, the easy way out. Death by suicide, and or constant drunkenness through alcoholism. And by doing it they left a path of emotional destruction their families and children have to clean up. Many don't. It effects their lives in a negative way. I'm certainly not going to waste my time feeling sorry for anyone selfish enough to do that.
 
Have suicide rates increased or is it media attention in general or just because its happened to the rich and famous ? - I don't honestly know.

I have 2 friends how have contemplated suicide, one ended up in an institution for a short time, both I grew up with and went to school with and thankfully both are through their lowest points.

I'm no councillor, but I have grasped the following, from being a good friend and listening/helping:

They didn't consider suicide the easy way out, their perceived only way out. Remember they are not in a fit state of mind, lacking rational thinking and reasoning, they had a perception of being useless and a bane on others, embarrassment to their friends and family.
IMHO its the not easy way out, the cowards way or selfish, its DESPERATION.

Depression is only a symptom, you need address the underlying issues, often these underlying issues cannot be eradicated by therapy and medication and can only be mitigated with ongoing treatment and will comeback, sometimes you get a specific diagnosis such as Bipolar or PTSD, sometimes you do not.

IMHO Mental Health is not prioritised enough in society, it leads to lots of bad things such as [family, people, drug, alcohol] abuse, homelessness, crime etc. We (as a global society) need to be far more proactive; people are encouraged to exercise and keep fit, yet mental health is mostly treated re-actively, signs of mental health issues start at young school age, and there should be a better awareness of mental health taught (in a basic format). I've experienced mental health issues of one of my children who has had a formal assessment been swept under the rug by a teacher as just being different/having a bad day (at a different/better school now)!
 
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