Last will and testament

[Rob Taggs]

The whole thing has my stomach churning. Brother is mad because of me not calling to talk to mom. That one is my fault, just figure with no contact I don't have to see mom is such a bad state ( Very selfish on my part). Its just hard for me to deal with another parent passing away, my dad died when I was 16 years old.

My two siblings and I have never gotten along. Could say my brother was the favorite but, only due to his manipulation of my parents. He played the part of the good boy due to seeing me screwing up as a kid, thus my parents gravitated towards my brother. I was not a kid in trouble with the law or anything, just very stubborn towards my parents from time to time. I tended to be the focus of my parents since I did not do good in school but, did straighten up in college with nearly A's in every subject.

I can put the past in the past but, my two siblings can't. Brother called one night a few years back after mom had started another fued between my brother and I. Stated he was coming over to physically beat me up. My response was to tell him that he would just go away in handcuffs.

This was all over my mom telling him that I was supposed to mow her yard but, she had told me that my brother owed her money and that he could mow the yard (Nice family, huh!). Mom has been known to record our conversations and play them back to each of us when we came to visit. The kind when we were younger and immature saying things bad against one another. As you can see mom liked to pit us kids against one another. Mom was in the background with the conversation with my brother and I, the one where he threatened to beat me up and she was laughing! (Nutty Family!).

I think it all boils down to me being an honest person and my brother is not and he knows this and feels threatened.

 

[GROUCHO MARX]

If your mother wanted you and your brother to fight, she's getting her way.

 

[tom slick]

If you have a CPA that you trust I would consult them. It is very common for CPAs to be executors of wills and trusts and a good one will know exactly how the game is played. IHMO I would consult the CPA before the attorney.

 

[Rob Taggs]

GROUCHO MARX,

Didn't know what had been going on all these years until one day while my new wife and I were visiting mom, mom played one of her tapes. Also, found other collections of her tapes. I have always suspected mom of being sick with some sort of mental illness, I mean who does this sort of thing pitting their children against one another for entertainment (Thats just plain sick). I have on more than one occasion I have tried to patch things up with my brother, brother just refuses and starts his threats up again.

I have a feeling things are going to get real heated once I ask for a gun back that I gave mom for protection. Guns in my name so I do not want brother to gather up things that mom has around and sale the gun or worse give it away and a crime is committed with it. Talked to folks about that and they told me to ask for it first and if I do not get a response to go down to the police and report it stolen. Either way I know down the road after mom has passed my brother is going to try and get physical.

Hope at least during the funeral and such that he does not show his A** and start something but, it will not surprise me if he does. Guess I should take up advanced self defense at this point, LOL!

 

[Mr_Incredible]

Sounds like you had the kind of family Thanksgiving dinners we used to have...

Unless you're talking about big dough, and have your jaw set for a fight, I'd walk away from the whole kit&kaboodle. Might even want to take them off your Christmas card list.

Life is too short to seek out morons to get into arguments with.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Gary Allan]

Get your gun ...and ..for your sanity's sake ...get as much distance between you and your brother as you can. I wouldn't even bother with the will. Let him pull all his antics ..past, present, and future ..and have absolutely nothing to do with any of it.

It really isn't worth it from my POV. You've got a life. One that's pretty incredible considering the darkside issues with your mother. If I were to take your account of your brother on face value, he got the short end of the deal...at least in how he turned out. Stuff like this puts kids in jail or some other institution.

It sounds like your mother wanted to bait you into a fight with your brother ...even when she was no longer around.

Get the gun and never look back. You may truly have just cause to deal this way with your brother ...but the relationship is a shipwreck already. Willfully engaging in another potential conflict has no "win" side to it. Even if there's something that you manage to sabotage in his actions, you already know the outcome.

You don't need justice from your brother. Ask yourself if you would want to trade places with him. Living like that is punishment enough.

It's just my opinion.

 

[tom slick]

BTW you should talk you mom (if possible) into having the will executed by someone who doesn't have any interest in it, i.e. a CPA. that way it is insured that her wishes are carried out the way she wants it.

 

[Rob Taggs]

tom slick,

No way mom will go for that. Wish it could be done like that. I'm just going to avoid as much conflict as I can. If sparks start to fly I'm just going to walk away from it all. I can hold my own against my brother if it gets physical but, I'm getting way to old for s**t like that. Come to the conclusion my brother is just a narcissistict bully. He has no skills on how to act like an adult.

 

[dwendt44]

And ask about checking on the bank records since your brother has signing authority on her account(s).

 

[refaller]

I agree with Mr. Incredible and Gary. I tell everyone that you can walk away from anyone who is being emotionally abusive to you. Life is too short to feel an obligation to someone simply because they are "blood." Easy for me to say, my parents are great and I am the son they trust to be executor and on bank accounts. My siblings (there are 6 of us) all trust me as well. Realize, if mom does have a mental illness, your brother might as well. Be gentle and loving with mom to the end, then walk away. No amount of money is worth it. Your peace and sanity have to be worth more.

ref

 

[Panzerman]

Being a only child doesnt always work either. My Mom left everything to her brother to "supposely" care for, for my two chidren 8 and 10, till they are 25. I doubt that money will be around in 15 years. Simply because she was spitefull I left her company and moved to Florida, because we could not get along after my Dads death in bussiness. I will be spitefull for 200 years over this.

 

[Rob Taggs]

Well, called mom tonight to check on her condition. She is getting worse- very short of breath and seems to be suffering from dementia. From what I can gather my brother is the executor of the new will ( No biggie, don't care a bit about money). Did as suggested and asked mom about the gun and she told me in her state that my brother now has it. Told mom that my name is on that gun legally and have the receipt to prove it, so brother better not sell it for his own gain.

Mom told me that I should not get into it with my brother about the gun. I'm doing anything till after mom passes on. I really don't think my brother will listen to reason about the gun but, I'm going to give him a call about it after mom passes. Good friend and his son both work closely with the police and thay suggested that all I can do is try and reason with him first. If that does not work then I need to go to the police and declare the gun stolen.

What do you all suggest I do in this situation?