Antiseize isn't going to help seal the manifold to head, it's anti SEIZE not anti leak. I would apply a good coat of anti seize to the bolts so they'll come off when you want them too. Orange/red RTV is the high temp stuff. I use a film, not an entire bead, on the flange. If you machine the manifold and have checked the head and it's fairly flat a thick film of RTV will ensure a good seal.
On some applications, use as T444E/7.3l PSD and all of the big block Ford/Chevy's we put together at the shop (as well as many other larger applications) I don't use anything. Just bolt a flat manifold to a flat head. The RTV is just insurance in case there is a small ding or low area.
How is the exhaust pipe hooked to the manifold? If it doesn't use a gasket I would use some RTV and anti-seize on the bolts/nuts. If it does use a gasket then use the donut/gasket with some RTV.
You won't need a lot of RTV, if it is squishing out all over the place you put to much on. You just need enough RTV to take up any variation might be left over, really it's just insurance.
No need to convince a machine shop (if that is who you are talking about) that it's necessary. Just plop down your manifolds and ask them to surface them. If anything just tell them you are going it for safeties sake. Good luck.