True Friendship

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Are you tired of those sissy-a** "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ******* who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the **** away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy a**.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Remember.......A good friend will help you move..... a REALLY good friend will help you move a body....... let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth!
 
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good friend will bail you out of jail

best buddy will sit next you in the cell, high five and say f that was fn awsome!
 
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