Makes me glad I am a redhead.....
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and
said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman
wanting to know if the coast is clear,"
,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on
the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in
the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde
says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second
one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
-_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she
is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut
up,
you're next!"
_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She
proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's
easy: W."
_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant? "Is it mine?
:_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA fre shman, sat in
her
US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs.
Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That
was
the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware."
_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her
house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a
K-9
unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on
the
steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find
all
my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."
FIRST DEGREE
A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment
and
said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman
wanting to know if the coast is clear,"
,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on
the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in
the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde
says,
"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The
second
one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
-_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes
out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens
the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is
really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she
is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut
up,
you're next!"
_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She
proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says,
"OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's
easy: W."
_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant? "Is it mine?
:_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*
SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA fre shman, sat in
her
US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs.
Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That
was
the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the
Delaware."
_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*
SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her
house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a
K-9
unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on
the
steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find
all
my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman."
