An acquaintance I know committed suicide this week
- Thread starter Mr Nice
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I'm with those like Jaraxle ^^^ questioning it being suicide. Sounds more like homicide to me too.
I also side with those who would remind folks not to judge someone who does this. Many people call those who commit suicide selfish and the like and I don't agree with that. They have to be in unbearable pain( physical and/or emotional )to kill themselves. I would never judge someone who did that but rather I would try and understand why and feel sorrow and pity for them.
Like so many others who have posted I know of some instances of suicide that hit my circle of family and friends( I actually worked on a remodel following a family friend using a shotgun in the basement to end pain from illness - was not a fun job ). It is extremely hard on the friends and family left behind and they also have my sorrow and sympathy.
For some there is nothing, be it medicine or therapy, that can help them and only suicide offers any relief. I don't judge those people as said. I just try and understand why they did it and feel sorry for them.
Maybe having a disease like MS, and knowing what could happen to me in addition to what already has, it let's me see/understand the other side a little better? Now, obviously I am not saying it's okay to off yourself over a parking ticket. But for so many there is NO reason no matter what it is that makes it understandable and that is where I disagree.
Sometimes I think the family and friends wanting the person to stay at all costs( i.e.; machines, in serious pain, no quality of life, etc... )so THEY don't suffer grief over a loss are the selfish ones. They only think about their pain and not what the person is going through. Sometimes I think we as a society treat our pets with more compassion and dignity when it comes to end of life than we do humans.
I read the OP's story and I think if it was suicide what drove the poor man to it? Was he sick and either going to die in agony or was already in pan and just hadn't told his family, was he suffering some type of mental illness and losing the battle, etc...? What demons was he facing that drove him to it? I also think about his poor family and friends who are grieving. My 1st thought isn't he was selfish.
I also side with those who would remind folks not to judge someone who does this. Many people call those who commit suicide selfish and the like and I don't agree with that. They have to be in unbearable pain( physical and/or emotional )to kill themselves. I would never judge someone who did that but rather I would try and understand why and feel sorrow and pity for them.
Like so many others who have posted I know of some instances of suicide that hit my circle of family and friends( I actually worked on a remodel following a family friend using a shotgun in the basement to end pain from illness - was not a fun job ). It is extremely hard on the friends and family left behind and they also have my sorrow and sympathy.
For some there is nothing, be it medicine or therapy, that can help them and only suicide offers any relief. I don't judge those people as said. I just try and understand why they did it and feel sorry for them.
Maybe having a disease like MS, and knowing what could happen to me in addition to what already has, it let's me see/understand the other side a little better? Now, obviously I am not saying it's okay to off yourself over a parking ticket. But for so many there is NO reason no matter what it is that makes it understandable and that is where I disagree.
Sometimes I think the family and friends wanting the person to stay at all costs( i.e.; machines, in serious pain, no quality of life, etc... )so THEY don't suffer grief over a loss are the selfish ones. They only think about their pain and not what the person is going through. Sometimes I think we as a society treat our pets with more compassion and dignity when it comes to end of life than we do humans.
I read the OP's story and I think if it was suicide what drove the poor man to it? Was he sick and either going to die in agony or was already in pan and just hadn't told his family, was he suffering some type of mental illness and losing the battle, etc...? What demons was he facing that drove him to it? I also think about his poor family and friends who are grieving. My 1st thought isn't he was selfish.
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Very sad. And occasionally, yes, it does seem to happen to people that seem to have everything to live for, including family and career, not to mention those that have slipped through the cracks for years. Mental health problems do not discriminate, I guess.
Originally Posted By: Jarlaxle
Originally Posted By: Gasbuggy
Sounds a little suspect
A LITTLE?! It sounds like a homicide by someone that watched too many Mob movies.
I contacted the county medical examiner's office, they will send me the police report and results of investigation, etc... in about 12 weeks.
Originally Posted By: Gasbuggy
Sounds a little suspect
A LITTLE?! It sounds like a homicide by someone that watched too many Mob movies.
I contacted the county medical examiner's office, they will send me the police report and results of investigation, etc... in about 12 weeks.
I've been there twice and and I know how it feels. Message me if you want to talk
I had my roommate/good friend hang himself in our apartment just under a year ago now. I had to cut him down from the extension cord He used. He just couldn't catch a break. If you've never had depression then you can't judge. I'm also available to talk if needed.
Maybe it wasn't self inflicted. If it was that's terrible, why who knows. Depression is a Disgusting disease, if it was.
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
Originally Posted By: Jarlaxle
Originally Posted By: Gasbuggy
Sounds a little suspect
A LITTLE?! It sounds like a homicide by someone that watched too many Mob movies.
I contacted the county medical examiner's office, they will send me the police report and results of investigation, etc... in about 12 weeks.
Mr Nice, they'll really just hand that information over to you, someone who was only an acquaintance of the deceased? That seems odd to say the least.
Originally Posted By: Jarlaxle
Originally Posted By: Gasbuggy
Sounds a little suspect
A LITTLE?! It sounds like a homicide by someone that watched too many Mob movies.
I contacted the county medical examiner's office, they will send me the police report and results of investigation, etc... in about 12 weeks.
Mr Nice, they'll really just hand that information over to you, someone who was only an acquaintance of the deceased? That seems odd to say the least.
Here in America you can request information from your local government.
Freedom of Information Act.
Freedom of Information Act.
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
The worst part is that their daughter found him in the pool with weights attached to his ankles...
Were they his wife's workout weights?
The worst part is that their daughter found him in the pool with weights attached to his ankles...
Were they his wife's workout weights?
Funeral this Saturday, undecided if i should attend...
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Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
Funeral this Saturday, undecided if i should attend...
You should definitely go. He would want you there. You never know what kind've excruciating mental pain he was going through. Just you simply saying hello and being a casual friend might've been what kept him going. Small things like that can mean the world to someone.
Funeral this Saturday, undecided if i should attend...
You should definitely go. He would want you there. You never know what kind've excruciating mental pain he was going through. Just you simply saying hello and being a casual friend might've been what kept him going. Small things like that can mean the world to someone.
I'll probably go because I also know his coworkers and boss.
Not many here appear to understand the mechanisms that bring on a suicide. The tragedy is still valid.
Mr Nice I am sorry to hear of this horrible thing
Mr Nice I am sorry to hear of this horrible thing
Went to funeral today, the guy was from India so it was very different from traditional American style funeral.
Originally Posted By: dlayman
Suicide by drowning is extremely rare, although not unheard of. Usually it's by doing something like jumping off the Golden Gate bridge.
Jumping off bridges has nothing to do with drowning. It's the impact that kills you. Water is like concrete when hit at terminal velocity. Death is as instantaneous as the 9/11 jumpers experienced by landing on pavement. Even the Red Bull Cliff Divers have to be extremely careful. If they land wrong, they will die. They have divers present near the landing area just in case. They demonstrated the danger to the public by throwing a watermelon off the 85 ft. platform they jump from. It was turned into a cloud of red mist when it hit the water. You couldn't have blown it apart any better if you shot it with a .458 Magnum. All the divers have said even when they land perfectly, and score high points, it's very painful. Many have developed serious inner ear problems.
Suicide by drowning is extremely rare, although not unheard of. Usually it's by doing something like jumping off the Golden Gate bridge.
Jumping off bridges has nothing to do with drowning. It's the impact that kills you. Water is like concrete when hit at terminal velocity. Death is as instantaneous as the 9/11 jumpers experienced by landing on pavement. Even the Red Bull Cliff Divers have to be extremely careful. If they land wrong, they will die. They have divers present near the landing area just in case. They demonstrated the danger to the public by throwing a watermelon off the 85 ft. platform they jump from. It was turned into a cloud of red mist when it hit the water. You couldn't have blown it apart any better if you shot it with a .458 Magnum. All the divers have said even when they land perfectly, and score high points, it's very painful. Many have developed serious inner ear problems.
Getting back to the "selfish" side of the equation...
One of my wife's friends had a friend who committed suicide the other day.
This woman rang my wife's friend, and spelled out her plan to hang herself, and that she rang because she didn't want anyone else to identify her body, and here's where my will is kept etc.etc. ... then hung up.
Now the woman that she rang did everything to talk her out of it while she was on the line, then notified the authorities, who tried to find her before she did it, but she did it.
In my mind, I don't mind what demons you may be battling, but that was selfish and cruel.
One of my wife's friends had a friend who committed suicide the other day.
This woman rang my wife's friend, and spelled out her plan to hang herself, and that she rang because she didn't want anyone else to identify her body, and here's where my will is kept etc.etc. ... then hung up.
Now the woman that she rang did everything to talk her out of it while she was on the line, then notified the authorities, who tried to find her before she did it, but she did it.
In my mind, I don't mind what demons you may be battling, but that was selfish and cruel.
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