An acquaintance I know committed suicide this week
- Thread starter Mr Nice
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I'm always uncomfortable with the word "selfish" as applied to suicide. Perhaps it fits the first part of the definition:
self·ish/ˈselfiSH/adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
But definitely not the second part of the definition.
I see it as a desire to end the mental pain and anguish that are sometimes a part of life. Perhaps felt too strongly, bleakly or overwhelmingly in that individual. Loosing sight of "This too shall pass".
self·ish/ˈselfiSH/adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
But definitely not the second part of the definition.
I see it as a desire to end the mental pain and anguish that are sometimes a part of life. Perhaps felt too strongly, bleakly or overwhelmingly in that individual. Loosing sight of "This too shall pass".
We had a young man whom I knew although not well blow his head open with his service weapon in a perimeter patrol vehicle one night around shift change about a decade ago.
A twenty eight year old guy with a decent current wage and a solid career ahead of him.
Who knows what demons haunted him?
Clinical depression is self-reinforcing. The truly depressed person gets to the point where they can't do anything useful and can't bring themselves to break the loop by taking some positive action, whether it be cleaning the cars, changing oil or cutting the lawn.
The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness can become overwhelming.
Suicide is usually a young man's game.
By the time we grow into middle age, we're typically past that sort of impulsive behavior.
A twenty eight year old guy with a decent current wage and a solid career ahead of him.
Who knows what demons haunted him?
Clinical depression is self-reinforcing. The truly depressed person gets to the point where they can't do anything useful and can't bring themselves to break the loop by taking some positive action, whether it be cleaning the cars, changing oil or cutting the lawn.
The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness can become overwhelming.
Suicide is usually a young man's game.
By the time we grow into middle age, we're typically past that sort of impulsive behavior.
JHZR2
Staff member
Terrible and sad.
One morning when I was traveling, I woke up to a police line across the next room's door. I was working in the lab for a long-ish time, and so I came and went on odd hours. There were a TON of cops and the Coroner outside.
After a couple days, I was having a discussion with the night shift, he said that hotels are common places for people to commit suicide. Close the door, take a bunch of something, and go to sleep.
How true it is, I have no clue. But its sad.
One morning when I was traveling, I woke up to a police line across the next room's door. I was working in the lab for a long-ish time, and so I came and went on odd hours. There were a TON of cops and the Coroner outside.
After a couple days, I was having a discussion with the night shift, he said that hotels are common places for people to commit suicide. Close the door, take a bunch of something, and go to sleep.
How true it is, I have no clue. But its sad.
Sorry to hear that, my condolences. It's sad that nobody knows what demons are tormenting people that seem to be fine until they take that route.
Years ago, the ex-wife and I were stunned when we learned the 16 year old kid across the street hanged himself from a tree. Straight-A kid, played in band, easy going, well liked, well behaved, his parents were nice people, and nobody knows what made him snap. His parents were devastated, not just from the loss but not knowing what they could have done to prevent it, if anything.
Years ago, the ex-wife and I were stunned when we learned the 16 year old kid across the street hanged himself from a tree. Straight-A kid, played in band, easy going, well liked, well behaved, his parents were nice people, and nobody knows what made him snap. His parents were devastated, not just from the loss but not knowing what they could have done to prevent it, if anything.
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
Terrible and sad.
One morning when I was traveling, I woke up to a police line across the next room's door. I was working in the lab for a long-ish time, and so I came and went on odd hours. There were a TON of cops and the Coroner outside.
After a couple days, I was having a discussion with the night shift, he said that hotels are common places for people to commit suicide. Close the door, take a bunch of something, and go to sleep.
How true it is, I have no clue. But its sad.
A guy told me a story of how he used to work for a big hotel chain and people would commit suicide all the time in the bathroom by electrocuting themselves while they were in the tub. Once GFCI outlets were invented, they put them in all their hotel rooms and the number of suicides went way down.
Terrible and sad.
One morning when I was traveling, I woke up to a police line across the next room's door. I was working in the lab for a long-ish time, and so I came and went on odd hours. There were a TON of cops and the Coroner outside.
After a couple days, I was having a discussion with the night shift, he said that hotels are common places for people to commit suicide. Close the door, take a bunch of something, and go to sleep.
How true it is, I have no clue. But its sad.
A guy told me a story of how he used to work for a big hotel chain and people would commit suicide all the time in the bathroom by electrocuting themselves while they were in the tub. Once GFCI outlets were invented, they put them in all their hotel rooms and the number of suicides went way down.
Very tragic. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I stay in hotels alone alot on bussiness trips and I always think about wonder if anybody died in this room.
Originally Posted By: Al
Originally Posted By: Kuato
Agree - selfish and not nice to the family. Are they sure it's suicide?
Nice sound bite. And it seems logical. But if and when you research the problem or have been there....you can't possibly know.
Yeah my apologies that sounds a bit insensitive; I was on my phone answering that.
OP. Sorry to hear about your acquaintance. It's no good any way you look at it.
Originally Posted By: Kuato
Agree - selfish and not nice to the family. Are they sure it's suicide?
Nice sound bite. And it seems logical. But if and when you research the problem or have been there....you can't possibly know.
Yeah my apologies that sounds a bit insensitive; I was on my phone answering that.
OP. Sorry to hear about your acquaintance. It's no good any way you look at it.
Originally Posted By: HM12460
Very tragic. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Temporary to YOU maybe, but to many with Depression this is a lifetime illness.
Very tragic. A permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Temporary to YOU maybe, but to many with Depression this is a lifetime illness.
Originally Posted By: Dave Sherman
Sorry to hear that, my condolences. It's sad that nobody knows what demons are tormenting people that seem to be fine until they take that route.
Years ago, the ex-wife and I were stunned when we learned the 16 year old kid across the street hanged himself from a tree. Straight-A kid, played in band, easy going, well liked, well behaved, his parents were nice people, and nobody knows what made him snap. His parents were devastated, not just from the loss but not knowing what they could have done to prevent it, if anything.
Someone I went to school with hung himself...after being called worthless, stupid, etc by his mother on a daily basis for ten years, he believed it. She had told him that if he wasn't valedictorian, he would be disowned, and once told him that had she knew how stupid he would be, she'd have aborted him. He got a C on a calculus test, went home, wrote, "You're right, I'm a failure," on it, and hung himself in the garage. He was 15.
Sorry to hear that, my condolences. It's sad that nobody knows what demons are tormenting people that seem to be fine until they take that route.
Years ago, the ex-wife and I were stunned when we learned the 16 year old kid across the street hanged himself from a tree. Straight-A kid, played in band, easy going, well liked, well behaved, his parents were nice people, and nobody knows what made him snap. His parents were devastated, not just from the loss but not knowing what they could have done to prevent it, if anything.
Someone I went to school with hung himself...after being called worthless, stupid, etc by his mother on a daily basis for ten years, he believed it. She had told him that if he wasn't valedictorian, he would be disowned, and once told him that had she knew how stupid he would be, she'd have aborted him. He got a C on a calculus test, went home, wrote, "You're right, I'm a failure," on it, and hung himself in the garage. He was 15.
Originally Posted By: JHZR2
Terrible and sad.
One morning when I was traveling, I woke up to a police line across the next room's door. I was working in the lab for a long-ish time, and so I came and went on odd hours. There were a TON of cops and the Coroner outside.
After a couple days, I was having a discussion with the night shift, he said that hotels are common places for people to commit suicide. Close the door, take a bunch of something, and go to sleep.
How true it is, I have no clue. But its sad.
It's the very reason the Gideons started putting bibles in hotel rooms.
Terrible and sad.
One morning when I was traveling, I woke up to a police line across the next room's door. I was working in the lab for a long-ish time, and so I came and went on odd hours. There were a TON of cops and the Coroner outside.
After a couple days, I was having a discussion with the night shift, he said that hotels are common places for people to commit suicide. Close the door, take a bunch of something, and go to sleep.
How true it is, I have no clue. But its sad.
It's the very reason the Gideons started putting bibles in hotel rooms.
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
An acquaintance I know from work (does not work for my employer) committed suicide this week. I was not good friends with the guy but always said hello and were friendly to each other since we have contract and I have to occasionally talk with the guy.
The business where this guy worked is stunned about his death considering he was married with kids, had a good job and everything seemed OK.
The worst part is that their daughter found him in the pool with weights attached to his ankles...
Drowning one's self in a pool?
That sounds like a homicide, and not a suicide.
The willpower necessary to intentionally sustain a painful act like drowning is seriously uncommon in suicidal people. Remember how a pool works. Weights or not, he could have literally walked himself back to the shallow end. He would have to fight against those hard-wired uncontrollable survival instincts to resist the temptation to stay in there.
I do "rockwalking" as a lung-capacity excercise, which involves swimming down in deep water, grabbing a heavy rock or weight, and attempting to run with the rock underwater for as long as possible. Improvement requires you to stay down there past your "break point", which is extremely hard to reasonably do.
The scene makes no sense to me. If he has the will power to just stay there drowning, then why the weights? He could drown in a sink, bathtub, or bowl of water if he had it in him.
Suicidal people usually choose easy and apparently "painless" solutions. Drowning in a pool? That's effin' rare, and even when it occurs has a very high likelihood of raging mental disorder and/or extreme substance abuse. This was done by a man who had all of his stuff together?
That man needs an autopsy.
And maybe see if he had any new friends named Grigory, Aleksei, Aldo, or Christos.
An acquaintance I know from work (does not work for my employer) committed suicide this week. I was not good friends with the guy but always said hello and were friendly to each other since we have contract and I have to occasionally talk with the guy.
The business where this guy worked is stunned about his death considering he was married with kids, had a good job and everything seemed OK.
The worst part is that their daughter found him in the pool with weights attached to his ankles...
Drowning one's self in a pool?
That sounds like a homicide, and not a suicide.
The willpower necessary to intentionally sustain a painful act like drowning is seriously uncommon in suicidal people. Remember how a pool works. Weights or not, he could have literally walked himself back to the shallow end. He would have to fight against those hard-wired uncontrollable survival instincts to resist the temptation to stay in there.
I do "rockwalking" as a lung-capacity excercise, which involves swimming down in deep water, grabbing a heavy rock or weight, and attempting to run with the rock underwater for as long as possible. Improvement requires you to stay down there past your "break point", which is extremely hard to reasonably do.
The scene makes no sense to me. If he has the will power to just stay there drowning, then why the weights? He could drown in a sink, bathtub, or bowl of water if he had it in him.
Suicidal people usually choose easy and apparently "painless" solutions. Drowning in a pool? That's effin' rare, and even when it occurs has a very high likelihood of raging mental disorder and/or extreme substance abuse. This was done by a man who had all of his stuff together?
That man needs an autopsy.
And maybe see if he had any new friends named Grigory, Aleksei, Aldo, or Christos.
Originally Posted By: Kuato
Yeah my apologies that sounds a bit insensitive; I was on my phone answering that.
OP. Sorry to hear about your acquaintance. It's no good any way you look at it.
Nice of you. Folks on here just love to argue (including me
)
Yeah my apologies that sounds a bit insensitive; I was on my phone answering that.
OP. Sorry to hear about your acquaintance. It's no good any way you look at it.
Nice of you. Folks on here just love to argue (including me
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That is a horrible way to die. That poor man have to had some serious problems when he engaged such a action. I'm not religious but hope he find his peace somewhere. Family is heavily traumatized - but it will go away eventually. There could be debts behind this..
I lost acquaintance over a girl, really nice kid in early 20-s jumped into a cliff, they found body two days later.
I lost acquaintance over a girl, really nice kid in early 20-s jumped into a cliff, they found body two days later.
Maybe the guy took sleeping pills and used weights to ensure he died ?
I really don't know...
I really don't know...
Originally Posted By: DoubleWasp
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
An acquaintance I know from work (does not work for my employer) committed suicide this week. I was not good friends with the guy but always said hello and were friendly to each other since we have contract and I have to occasionally talk with the guy.
The business where this guy worked is stunned about his death considering he was married with kids, had a good job and everything seemed OK.
The worst part is that their daughter found him in the pool with weights attached to his ankles...
Drowning one's self in a pool?
That sounds like a homicide, and not a suicide.
The willpower necessary to intentionally sustain a painful act like drowning is seriously uncommon in suicidal people. Remember how a pool works. Weights or not, he could have literally walked himself back to the shallow end. He would have to fight against those hard-wired uncontrollable survival instincts to resist the temptation to stay in there.
I do "rockwalking" as a lung-capacity excercise, which involves swimming down in deep water, grabbing a heavy rock or weight, and attempting to run with the rock underwater for as long as possible. Improvement requires you to stay down there past your "break point", which is extremely hard to reasonably do.
The scene makes no sense to me. If he has the will power to just stay there drowning, then why the weights? He could drown in a sink, bathtub, or bowl of water if he had it in him.
Suicidal people usually choose easy and apparently "painless" solutions. Drowning in a pool? That's effin' rare, and even when it occurs has a very high likelihood of raging mental disorder and/or extreme substance abuse. This was done by a man who had all of his stuff together?
That man needs an autopsy.
And maybe see if he had any new friends named Grigory, Aleksei, Aldo, or Christos.
What you say is very true. Suicide by drowning is extremely rare, although not unheard of. Usually it's by doing something like jumping off the Golden Gate bridge. It's very difficult to drown yourself if you know how to swim, but maybe he felt this would be the least painful method at his disposal.
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
An acquaintance I know from work (does not work for my employer) committed suicide this week. I was not good friends with the guy but always said hello and were friendly to each other since we have contract and I have to occasionally talk with the guy.
The business where this guy worked is stunned about his death considering he was married with kids, had a good job and everything seemed OK.
The worst part is that their daughter found him in the pool with weights attached to his ankles...
Drowning one's self in a pool?
That sounds like a homicide, and not a suicide.
The willpower necessary to intentionally sustain a painful act like drowning is seriously uncommon in suicidal people. Remember how a pool works. Weights or not, he could have literally walked himself back to the shallow end. He would have to fight against those hard-wired uncontrollable survival instincts to resist the temptation to stay in there.
I do "rockwalking" as a lung-capacity excercise, which involves swimming down in deep water, grabbing a heavy rock or weight, and attempting to run with the rock underwater for as long as possible. Improvement requires you to stay down there past your "break point", which is extremely hard to reasonably do.
The scene makes no sense to me. If he has the will power to just stay there drowning, then why the weights? He could drown in a sink, bathtub, or bowl of water if he had it in him.
Suicidal people usually choose easy and apparently "painless" solutions. Drowning in a pool? That's effin' rare, and even when it occurs has a very high likelihood of raging mental disorder and/or extreme substance abuse. This was done by a man who had all of his stuff together?
That man needs an autopsy.
And maybe see if he had any new friends named Grigory, Aleksei, Aldo, or Christos.
What you say is very true. Suicide by drowning is extremely rare, although not unheard of. Usually it's by doing something like jumping off the Golden Gate bridge. It's very difficult to drown yourself if you know how to swim, but maybe he felt this would be the least painful method at his disposal.
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OP, I am very sorry to hear of this. My wife committed suicide 4 years ago. It is a horrible thing to go through. I wish you and them a pathway to peace, i say pathway because it is a process.
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