The Nooner

[MolaKule]

The Nooner

A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and
just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before
Homer left the house for the fields, they made love.

When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And
again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to
travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and
he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked
the town doctor what to do.

"Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field
with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air.
That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't
lose any field time."

They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while. Homer
came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked the Doc..
"Didn't my idea work?" "Oh, it worked real good," said Homer.
"Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and
Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love,
and then she'd go back home again."

"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.

"I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."

 

[AirgunSavant]

GUlp....... lol.

 

[zrxkawboy]

 

[OneEyeJack]

That, made me laugh. Thx.

 

[daves87rs]

lol...

 

[Kira]

...you mean all the nearby audible gun shots confused her? I don't get it?

Was she going to all the other hunters? Whaaa..?

 

[CT8]

Originally Posted By: Kira
...you mean all the nearby audible gun shots confused her? I don't get it?

Was she going to all the other hunters? Whaaa..?
Does nooners with all the hunters

 

[alcyon]

Originally Posted By: Kira
...you mean all the nearby audible gun shots confused her? I don't get it?

Was she going to all the other hunters? Whaaa..?

Yes I was confused too, hard to picture a woman who is just married cheating on her husband so quickly. Another thought that ran in my head was she was shot on the way back home one day mistaken as one of the game, so he hasn't seen her since...oh well.

 

[Shannow]

Created a Pavlovian state in which she responds to each and every gun-shot.

It's not that hard, nor requires analysis of her marital virtues...it's a joke.

 

[Shannow]

like...
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup,
and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted.

"I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant,
and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,
"Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.
He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry,
and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods,
and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him!
He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear,
and squeezed the handle."

"And do you know what happened?"the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man.
"Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..."
replied the doctor.

 

[Silk]

Hunting season opens tomorrow - I'll be woken at dawn by BOOM BOOM BBB BOOMBOOM!

 

[John_Conrad]

Originally Posted By: MolaKule
The Nooner

A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and
just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before
Homer left the house for the fields, they made love.

When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And
again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to
travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and
he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked
the town doctor what to do.

"Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field
with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air.
That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't
lose any field time."

They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while. Homer
came back to the doctor's office. "What's wrong?" asked the Doc..
"Didn't my idea work?" "Oh, it worked real good," said Homer.
"Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and
Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love,
and then she'd go back home again."

"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.

"I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."




too funny!

 

[John_Conrad]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
like...
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup,
and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted.

"I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant,
and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,
"Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter.
He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry,
and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods,
and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him!
He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear,
and squeezed the handle."

"And do you know what happened?"the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man.
"Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..."
replied the doctor.


that was even funnier! LOL

 

[MinamiKotaro]

I didn't get it, either.