Like a K&N but instead of a nut on top, a big version of a one-way security head, like:
A jiffy lube tech can tighten with his wrench across the flats, but won't be working there in three months when it's time to remove it, somehow. Leave off the knurling, more important things to worry about.
Then take 3614 media and hide it in an FL1A can. "Paint" it with shoe polish so it
rusts in two weeks.
Sell it in KMart and Sears, so it never gets any walk-by traffic. Make sure the paper catalog runs out in 1988 and only covers Fairmonts and K-cars. Have Christie Brinkley on the cover and David Brinkley in the centerfold.
Mess up the numbers so a 3387A in your special snowflake brand crosses to a 3614 Fram, and the millimeter difference in thread pitch is just something between friends. Make the baseplate aluminum, so if the threading is off, the tech can just reef it on and retap it as he goes.
Put in a flow restrictor, so if a cam seal leaks, it'll leak less, on account of less oil making it to the heads.
Label its box with date rape drugs in the ink, because china.
Include environmental admonishments to return used oil for recycling, or to compost it if more convenient. Mention cancer on your skin, and include a free harbor freight glove that tears halfway through the job.
Make the customer contact number a 976 pay exchange. Hire Gilbert Gottfried as an operator. Give him a Haynes manual as his sole reference material.
