Women! And the nice guy

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Originally Posted By: e40
Originally Posted By: lawman1909
So my friend's girlfriend broke up with him today, 2 weeks shy of their 1st year anniversary.


What was her TBN after the 1 year interval?
smile.gif



Most likely
 
He is 26, she is 25. Both were very into staying in shape and often were together working out and such.
 
I honestly think it may have been his job. Very stressful like mine, but he also works most weekends and daywork for 2 weeks, then evening 2 weeks. It is dissapointing this happened but in my experience, the girl just didn't have enough guts to say why she wanted it over. Not worth it in the long run with her.
 
Originally Posted By: salv
She was bored and/or interested in somebody else. Emphasis on somebody else. Maybe she wasn't cheating, but she wanted to.
He should let her go if he really wants to keep her. Sounds wrong, huh?
If he immediately stops talking to her and makes no effort to get her back, she will feel that he didn't really love her. She will start questioning and doubting herself, and voila, she will start trying to talk to him. As long as he remains distant and apathetic, while taking her calls and offering brief, emotionally neutral responses to texts, she will start trying again.


This I agree with.


Originally Posted By: salv
But, she'll dump him again after all is said and done.
He needs to find somebody else.


This, not so much.


About 10 years ago I met a nice girl on one of those cheesy dating websites. Things got serious pretty quickly, but a few months later she left because she was interested in someone else. (At least she was honest about it) A couple months later she realized she made the wrong decision. We've been married 2 1/2 years now.
 
Does she come from a broken home with no father in the picture? Chicks with daddy issues are always like that. They're abuse cravers,bum lovers,etc. They're just f'd up in the head and if they're with a genuinely good/nice guy,they get bored and dump them for a bum or an abuser,BUT then start boo-hooing about their new loser bf abusing them. Happens like clockwork.

Tell your friend to burn all bridges with this chick.
 
Without truly having inside knowledge on the relationship, soliciting opinions here really doesn't serve much purpose except to show the opinion of others when given such limited information. She could be a perfectly decent young lady and he is a weirdo in private. Or....the opposite could be true. Since none of us know this couple nor have spent any time with them, anything is possible as to the cause of the breakup. Besides....he's an adult and should be able to deal with it just like the rest of us have at one time or another. He doesn't need much from anybody else in dealing with this. A few kind words is all. Unless he is a very weak person (In which case consoling him doesn't serve any purpose other than enabling his mourning).
Breaking up and emotional pain is a part of life. It doesn't really matter what reason she decided to split really was, unless your friend has some serious relational abnormalities to fix.
 
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have him take a week for himself to calm down. (because of his job you and his co-workers want him in one piece).

than have him take a month of party. being what he is, i can guaranty that at week # 2 of the month, he will juggle 3 chicks, one being the girlfriend we discuss about (women and competition/challenge ...).
than he can decide if she's a keeper.
 
Thats what i said. But this was only his second gf. His first was in the first year of college so it seems he may be shy??
 
Women can make excuses for any behavior.

Too nice kind and chivalrous?

Losing her is no loss, she's probably been with intimate with someone else for a while and sees herself as a blameless victim

Give him a couple days to snap out of it, realize his new found freedom, and find some variety who can appreciate him, if only for a while before some women's magazine further twists her mind with delusions of grandeur.
 
She came up with both parents. Nothing broken and the thing is, she isnt even all that pretty, but thats just my opinion.
 
Originally Posted By: lawman1909
Thats what i said. But this was only his second gf. His first was in the first year of college so it seems he may be shy??

26 years old is not the time to be shy.
practice makes perfect.
please either have his coworkers take him out a bit more, or see if they know somebody interested (firefighter matchmaking).
also trow a word at your local church. the ladies love the matchmaking stuff.
 
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Without truly having inside knowledge on the relationship, soliciting opinions here really doesn't serve much purpose except to show the opinion of others when given such limited information. She could be a perfectly decent young lady and he is a weirdo in private. Or....the opposite could be true. Since none of us know this couple nor have spent any time with them, anything is possible as to the cause of the breakup. Besides....he's an adult and should be able to deal with it just like the rest of us have at one time or another. He doesn't need much from anybody else in dealing with this. A few kind words is all. Unless he is a very weak person (In which case consoling him doesn't serve any purpose other than enabling his mourning).
Breaking up and emotional pain is a part of life. It doesn't really matter what reason she decided to split really was, unless your friend has some serious relational abnormalities to fix.

This is seriously the only reply that isn't a bunch of garbage. BITOG is not the place to go for lady advice unless you get off on the repeated crowing of the "women=shrew" and the "she done me wrong" crowd.

And it's only his second girlfriend? I doubt she was the one. Maybe he needs to work at figuring out that being a nice man, doesn't make you a good man (to women).
 
My young co-worker (girl) broke up with her boyfriend due to the fact that he was not "manly" enough. I saw it coming... even though she did not.

He was a gentle, kind, soft spoken man
She is a pretty, smart, flirty girl. (with no idea what she wants)

Neither are, in any way, abnormal or weird. However, the lack of "Alpha" behavior on his part ruined the relationship. Had he behaved just a bit differently, been a leader, a bit "tougher" or rough around the edges and they'd be married right now.

I'm an old man, and have years of observations and experience under my belt. I don't subscribe to the theory that women know best. As mentioned above, often they don't know what they want and are attracted to 1) money, 2) bad boys, 3) nice cars, 4) airplanes, 5) business success, 6) humor, 7) big muscles etc.

The reason for this attraction is primal in nature. A strong man can work hard. A rich man can afford a family, A bad-boy can provide safety, A nice car signifies the finer things in life, riches, luxury, vacations etc. An intelligent man has a much better chance of success.

Women are often instinctual about such things. My first serious girlfriend loved my gorgeous, red, 1966 Mustang road race car. It was adventure and money for her. My wife liked my college degree, my intelligence (such as it is, hahaha) and saw potential in me.

I have no idea what happened in this relationship the OP talks about. If the guy involved is introspective enough, he "may" be able to determine why.
 
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The reason given by the girl might be true as well. There are many girls who would break up because someone is so nice that he's not funny anymore. 'Good' men are bore for new age girls.
 
Originally Posted By: LazyPrizm
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Without truly having inside knowledge on the relationship, soliciting opinions here really doesn't serve much purpose except to show the opinion of others when given such limited information. She could be a perfectly decent young lady and he is a weirdo in private. Or....the opposite could be true. Since none of us know this couple nor have spent any time with them, anything is possible as to the cause of the breakup. Besides....he's an adult and should be able to deal with it just like the rest of us have at one time or another. He doesn't need much from anybody else in dealing with this. A few kind words is all. Unless he is a very weak person (In which case consoling him doesn't serve any purpose other than enabling his mourning).
Breaking up and emotional pain is a part of life. It doesn't really matter what reason she decided to split really was, unless your friend has some serious relational abnormalities to fix.

This is seriously the only reply that isn't a bunch of garbage. BITOG is not the place to go for lady advice unless you get off on the repeated crowing of the "women=shrew" and the "she done me wrong" crowd.

And it's only his second girlfriend? I doubt she was the one. Maybe he needs to work at figuring out that being a nice man, doesn't make you a good man (to women).


crackmeup2.gif


Nailed it. Shrew done me wrong!

To the OP, what was their living situation? Often times living together changes perspectives in a major way, even if they were spending a lot of time together beforehand.
 
Heh heh, Cujet speaks the wisdom of age. The wacky courtships in the animal world, can't hold a candle to those of us human beans.
I got very lucky. Marina and I courted and married for all kinds of bad reasons. We were 21. Forty-two yrs ago. Believe me,there were, and still are, plenty of times when each of us has rued the day we first set eyes on each other.
grin2.gif
 
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