Weddings... absolutely annoying anymore.

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When did most weddings de-evolve into a classless display of one-upping whoever had the last wedding, which leads to months and months of planning, and then spending money like there's no tomorrow, when most of the spending is on material [censored] that will be thrown away the next day?

And these awful "bridezilla" TV shows are a lot of the problem as well. It only seems to drive the worst in some people.

I have an invite to a wedding of a daughter of some friends (never mind that she hated her parents' guts for several years and refused to even speak to them), and I have absolutely no desire to go to it. I barely even know the daughter (and that's because she shut her parents out of her life for several years, and chose to live an hour away).

As a rule, I've only attended weddings of immediate family members and those of my personal friends... and no one else.

Am I wrong? Every one else gets a nice card, a hearty congratulations, and a gift.

I guess I'd feel somewhat different about weddings if they were more about the vows, and less about all of the immaterial garbage that people apparently think that are more important than the "I do" part?

So, am I the only one?
 
My brother's wedding was kind of like that. At the Car Barn in Georgetown. But the part that got me was two different tuxedos. Had to dress in a white one for the evening dinner. I thought at first it was a joke. At least now she says it was too much.
 
Quote:
When did most weddings de-evolve into a classless display of one-upping whoever had the last wedding,


When people began emulating frauds.

I totally agree with the one-upmanship. It's a phenomenon that affects all parts of some peoples' lives. Some of these people (usually the women) take part in events and get married just for the pictures, so they can post them up for all to see. Us guys do it too, with the cars and the clothes and the gadgets.

A fraud getting married or going on vacation will spend the entire wedding, vacation etc just acquiring photo evidence of how awesome their life is, and how much more fun they're having vs everyone else. It's really sad, the fraudulence.
 
I got married last summer and we spent $3000 on the ceremony/reception.

It was awesome.

Only close family was invited, it was in my wife's aunt's back yard, the reception was in the same location, her aunt is a photographer, and her mom did the cake.

We decided to keep it as inexpensive as possible because every dollar we spent came out of the pile of money we had for a down payment on the next house. As it turned out we probably enjoyed ourselves far more than if we had spent $30,000.
 
I got married in City Hall, Manhattan, NYC.

They validated my parking slip too.

Spent all the wedding budget on a party at a very nice restaurant.
 
Originally Posted By: Chris142
Not me! I was married 3 weeks ago in oatman az. Google it.

Lets just say that i was not the only donkey there lol


I googled it, and congratulations. I like your style.
 
To me, if the person organizing the wedding begins asking others to do certain things to make their day special, then there is a problem.

Any wedding arrangements you do should focus on what you and the fiancé will actually do during the vows and how you would like to make it a good experience for others.
 
Its just another symptom of the mostly shallow, materialistic, ego driven society that this is. Misunderstood self, TV & media are the fuels. I no longer agree with marriage and what you detail are parts of that reasoning. Its very sad what so many think they need.
 
Weddings are for nitwits.

Wedding gifts are for people just starting out their lives, who can't afford to "feather" their "nest".

When I was single, weddings were great, only because I could always pick up a new girl. Now, they are simply idiotic.
 
Originally Posted By: TrevorS
how you would like to make it a good experience for others.


I believe this is the exact reason why people feel pressure to spend so much. Sure, weddings are for family, but spending tens of thousands of dollars to make it a good experience for others is crazy.

My wife's family was disturbed by the idea that we were going to spend so little. We told them they were welcome to contribute more. They shut up.
 
Yeah, but that's what society is aligning to. Lots of folks get upset when you talk about debt and payments and whatnot, but it's all connected. Just like someone leases a car to get some fancy thing they couldn't otherwise afford, it's about the same with all this. Parents, families, and the people themselves spend tens or even thousands of dollars on an event where in the end, people go home drunk.

If that's what people want to spend their money on, it's a free country. I'm generally not a fan of people putting on a look of being "upscale" or "classy" when by the end of the night they aren't, and in reality the rest of the time aren't putting on such airs. Big hat, no cattle is exactly what these things are. And the TV, which people think is real, and then gets a false concept of what they think they deserve...
 
I just got married for the second time and we kept things very simple. We had two weddings actually, the first one was unofficial, it was just the two of us on the beach in Riviera Maya, Mexico, saying our vows to each other, along with a photographer to capture it all. Then for the official wedding here at home, we got married at the yacht club where my dad keeps his sailboat, and it was a very small ceremony with only 40 people. It was not the traditional wedding, we had it in the afternoon, and then immediately afterwards we had a BBQ lunch outside. We did not spend very much money at all, however it was more fun than any of the high dollar weddings I've attended in the past. Everyone kept coming up to us telling us how much fun they had and how unique our ceremony was (mainly because we included our children as it was a ceremony celebrating the blending together of our two families, I have one son and my wife has a son and a daughter)
 
I just made the even bigger mistake of looking at the gift registry for the happy couple at Bed, Bath, and Beyond...

A $150 queen sized bed sheet set.
A $135 chef's knife. Just one knife.
A $200 pasta attachment for a Kitchenaid mixer
A $85 saucepan. Just one saucepan... and a small one at 1.5 quarts.

Of course, there were less expensive items... such as a $12 spoon, or a $6 washcloth.

I think I'm going to go take a long, hot shower now. For some odd reason, I suddenly feel used and dirty.

And by the way, the word that was censored in my original post was "c-r-a-p".
 
NEVER understood the concept of an expensive "wedding". Are we living in 800 bce?

Cracks me up people who rent and have credit card debt....but who have $20K - $40k weddings....and the parents are actually all for it. I just shake my head.
 
Two versions here:

Last year I attended two weddings.

Wedding one: We met at the courthouse and we all were wearing our "Sunday go to meetin'" clothes. Bride and groom were married by the local judge who had a very nice service. They had even fixed up one of their conference rooms like a little wedding chapel. When the wedding was over, we all went to their home and ordered pizza and had a lot of fun. The whole thing cost about 200 bucks.

Wedding two: Huge wedding with special "wear it one time in your life and never wear it again" clothes. This was followed by huge reception with special food that came on huge plates with tiny servings. There was a live band and dancing. I don't dance. There was an open bar which I visited repeatedly. I don't remember how it happened, but suddenly, I was dancing with my wife, (and I was good). When I woke up the next day, I realized why they have "wear it one time in your life and never wear it again" clothes.

I know both couples love each other, but the simple wedding seemed more sincere and heartfelt.
 
Originally Posted By: mrsilv04
I just made the even bigger mistake of looking at the gift registry for the happy couple at Bed, Bath, and Beyond...

A $150 queen sized bed sheet set.
A $135 chef's knife. Just one knife.
A $200 pasta attachment for a Kitchenaid mixer
A $85 saucepan. Just one saucepan... and a small one at 1.5 quarts.

Of course, there were less expensive items... such as a $12 spoon, or a $6 washcloth.

I think I'm going to go take a long, hot shower now. For some odd reason, I suddenly feel used and dirty.

And by the way, the word that was censored in my original post was "c-r-a-p".


That is ridiculous. How often will they even use a $200 pasta attachment? [censored]?

Weddings that are all about show and the littlest thing going wrong has the bride/her mother in tears are ridiculous. Statistically it isn't likely to last anyway, better to just spend the money on the open bar for the enjoyment of the guests.
 
Originally Posted By: Mykl
Originally Posted By: TrevorS
how you would like to make it a good experience for others.


I believe this is the exact reason why people feel pressure to spend so much. Sure, weddings are for family, but spending tens of thousands of dollars to make it a good experience for others is crazy.

My wife's family was disturbed by the idea that we were going to spend so little. We told them they were welcome to contribute more. They shut up.


Understood but what I was referring to was the idea that you ask others to dress up in specific clothes, you make a wedding registry, you make it about you so much that you begin to expect unreasonable things from guests.

All I am suggesting is that you spend what is reasonable for you to afford, don't ask for gifts, don't ask people to do something fancy, don't make it so people have to spend crazy amounts to get to the location or stay in an expensive hotel. But get a nice location and provide decent food and if the budget gets stretched reduce the size of the wedding. Do what makes you happy but have consideration for guests.
 
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