A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised
to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him.
The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks
down the aisle past the man and his seatmate. "Hey ****,"
said the parrot, "bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!"
The flight attendant looks annoyed, but walks on. A minute
later, she walks back up the aisle and the parrot pipes up
again: "Doggonit, you lazy ****, where's my whiskey?
Hurry it up!"
Visibly flustered, the flight attendant hurries up the aisle
and return quickly with the parrot's drink.
Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides
to get some quick service for himself.
"Hey, ****," says the man, "Get me a dry martini.
And don't drag your sorry feet - I want it right now!"
The flight attendant turns red with anger and runs to the
front of the plane.
In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly
male flight attendants.
The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open
the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane
at 20,000 feet.
As the two hurtle out the door, the parrot says to the man,
"Ya know, for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta nerve."