Daughter failed test in grad school ...

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She has always done outstanding in all her years of schooling. She has done well since starting in the fall at University of New England. She just told me she failed a test and feels like a failure today.
I tried to lift her up today and she was beating herself up.......It was hard for me to let her know that this is just a blip in the road to her becoming a physical therapist.

Any motivational words you can impart to her are appreciated. I might let her see this thread.....But don't know if that is the best idea at the moment. Thanks
 
The fact that she is bothered by poor test results is a great example of why she will be successful. We all have our low points its all in how you pick yourself up and keep on going that makes you who you are.
 
University is tough as it's the only time in your life when nearly everyone around you is super-smart. I failed (and had to repeat) two entire years of engineering school but pulled through in the end. It was all a matter of understanding what was expected in the exams and how to study for them.
 
I've had my ups and downs also. The important thing is to avoid losing the proper sense of proportion. Avoid defining achievement by single accomplishments, but rather all the little things that add up to the whole success. The true measure of a successful person is not whether they never fail but rather how that person reacts to failure and learns from it.

I lived many parts of my life avoiding failure. As a result I don't think I am as successful now as where I could have been if I had the attitude that failure is just another lesson to learn everything possible from and then move on with life. I think that who I am today was shaped by how I bounced back from the failures that I couldn't manage to avoid and how they made me a better person for the future.

If you reflect back on life, you don't remember many of the staircases that you have climbed along the way, but you probably can remember at least one time that you fell flat on your face while climbing the stairs. Whether literal or figurative, I hope you understand the intent.

These failures can be used as great war stories for galvanizing new action and reminiscing on the good old days when failing an exam in school seemed like the end of the world.
 
It's a single test, likely in an area that's not her strong suit. Even Einstein was called a dummy by his teachers.
 
Tell her that failing one test isn't any indication of her overall performance. It happens to everybody. Sometimes it's hard to grasp a certain area of a subject even if you know the rest of it pretty well. Sometimes you just don't study enough and all you can do is put in more effort for the next test. Sometimes professors just make a test overly difficult. Whatever the case, most people fail a test at some point.

I failed a few tests for the various reasons above. Still graduated college in four years as an A/B student, cum laude. Nobody cares about the tests you took once you get a diploma, and one fail isn't going to stop her.

I've had professors who say things like "NOBODY gets an A on my tests." You can't win 'em all every time.
 
I know how she feels. I was always an A/B student in high school without ever studying or opening a book. When to college and had a rude of wakening. I graduated with double degree and with honors. In the end the thought/fear of failure was one of my biggest motivators because I hated that feeling.


When I college I always resorted to these quotes:

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed ― Theodore Roosevelt

Without failure there is no success, without failure how can there be success?

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.
 
Sometimes the first test you don't really know how the teacher 'wrote' it.

Once you know their style of testing (almost like a personality) you can better prepare for the next tests.
 
What I've learned from failures is not to be defeated by the failure but to examine why I failed. It's a learning, growing experience.

Embrace the experience and accept responsibility. Yes, I failed, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure. Either I did something wrong or failed to do something right. Find it, discover it, fix it, move on. Grow. It will make her stronger in the long run.

Remember what Thomas Edison said when he created the light bulb. He didn't have a thousand failures, but discovered a thousand different ways not to make a light bulb.
 
well lets see a very smart person gets ONE bad test. us dumb guys failed LOTS and LOTS of tests. but i was still successful at having good family. a machinist for 30 years, and other good jobs. every one has set backs, just learn to grow from it. the Dyson co made 5000 prototypes of there famous sweeper before they got it right.
 
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I myself got a rude awakening myself when starting college...you will struggle, but you will get through!


If it was easy, then anybody could do it!
 
She'll learn more from life's failures than she will from life's successes. Chalk this up to experience and move forward.
 
When you realize everyone is different you will rest easier.

My eldest daughter had a paid scolarship to a very famous art school in Florida, got in on pure merit! But she flunked out as she lacked the maturity.

She has since got involved in eyeglasses/lens making, etc., and has turned that into a near six figure income!

Some of us have a test anxiety thing, others just aren't suited for higher education. Many of my degreed friends are under employed...
 
Originally Posted By: sciphi
It's a single test, likely in an area that's not her strong suit. Even Einstein was called a dummy by his teachers.


Exactly. And if she is an academic and has always gotten good grades then its important that she experiences failure.
Failure drives the driven to try harder and succeed. No one wins them all,you just gotta win the ones that matter.
 
Failure is a part of life. We definitely learn more from failure than easy success. I used to work as a mechanic and now work as an engineer and deal with failure everyday as routine. They may be small failures but it's part of the discovery process. The troubleshooting process is a series of failures until success.
 
She has my commiserations. I too have had my share of similar disappointments. I immediately shrug them off and reflect at my accomplishments. Plus I always have comfort with the respect of my friends and colleagues.
 
I have 2 family members who are physical therapists.
[Count on taking classes , updates, refreshers the rest of your career.]
But it is not a hard science - two books or teachers can say opposite things. This has been a problem.
 
One of life's most important lessons is that of resilience.
We all get smacked in the face now and then and end up on our backsides.
We have to pick ourselves up, dust ourelves off and continue moving forward.
Failures happen to all of us.
It is our ability to deal with failure constructively that allows us to succeed overall.
A commonplace saying is that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
There's a great deal of truth in that.
We all hate to fail.
We must not fear it, though, since the occassional failure is inevitable, unless we never try to do anything.
Another useful commonplace saying is keep calm and carry on.
Don't dwell on having failed, but rather have confidence in your abilities and just keep working toward your goal.
 
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