Tell her, "If you don't tell me how to drive, I won't tell you how to nag.".
How do you get someone to stop nagging?
- Thread starter tonycarguy
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I hate to generalize (no, I don't), but this is a common trait for females to wait for the last second, then give the directions in a non-commanding way. Like "You might have been thinking of getting in the left lane back there, because we just passed the intersection we should have turned at...."
I have been training my wife to give definite instructions prior to the action point. It's a work in process. It usually works like this: Me: Left lane or right lane? Her: We don't turn here. Me: Yeah, explective, I know we don't turn here, but we are explective turning soon, so, which explective lane should I be getting in before the explective turn? Explectives are bad, but it's the only way to get her attention.
It's a work in process.
As to the nagging, she was both wrong and an idiot, so the nagging was her attempt to place blame for her own inadequacies on you.
I have been training my wife to give definite instructions prior to the action point. It's a work in process. It usually works like this: Me: Left lane or right lane? Her: We don't turn here. Me: Yeah, explective, I know we don't turn here, but we are explective turning soon, so, which explective lane should I be getting in before the explective turn? Explectives are bad, but it's the only way to get her attention.
It's a work in process.
As to the nagging, she was both wrong and an idiot, so the nagging was her attempt to place blame for her own inadequacies on you.
I used to work with a guy who said " I still miss my ex wife, but my aim is improving"
Logical explanations don't necessarily work with ladies. They're not wired up the same.
They just...
keep doing their thing. Just tune it out.
They just...
Nagging what nagging.. selective hearing is a wonderful thing.
There are two questions and two people.
1. Who does the job?
2. How it gets done?
Each of you get one answer.
If she starts in on how to do it, you can always use your answer and say be my guest and do it as you see fit.
I have pulled over and stopped driving when I was getting too much side seat driving tips for my tastes. It doesn't happen very often anymore.
I'm not going to argue. If how it's getting done is so important to my wife on most things, I'm willing to let her handle them.
However, she lets me handle the checkbook, paying the bills etc, so things are not totally out of control. We have a "financial date" every other Tuesday to go over the bills, the budget and how we are progressing on our goals.
1. Who does the job?
2. How it gets done?
Each of you get one answer.
If she starts in on how to do it, you can always use your answer and say be my guest and do it as you see fit.
I have pulled over and stopped driving when I was getting too much side seat driving tips for my tastes. It doesn't happen very often anymore.
I'm not going to argue. If how it's getting done is so important to my wife on most things, I'm willing to let her handle them.
However, she lets me handle the checkbook, paying the bills etc, so things are not totally out of control. We have a "financial date" every other Tuesday to go over the bills, the budget and how we are progressing on our goals.
Originally Posted By: tonycarguy
I was once driving a female friend somewhere. She gave me crummy directions (waited until the LAST second to tell me I needed to make a left turn when I was on the right lane). So I ended up missing the turn. Instead of veering across 4 lanes I decided to make a right then U turn. She immediately starts nagging about how I missed the exit and why on earth did I make a right when she said make left, etc. Holy ****... After I dropped her off I said, "ask someone else for a ride back".
Granted I could say this because she wasn't my significant other, but if she was what can I do?? How do you deal with naggers?
You did it just right ....
I was once driving a female friend somewhere. She gave me crummy directions (waited until the LAST second to tell me I needed to make a left turn when I was on the right lane). So I ended up missing the turn. Instead of veering across 4 lanes I decided to make a right then U turn. She immediately starts nagging about how I missed the exit and why on earth did I make a right when she said make left, etc. Holy ****... After I dropped her off I said, "ask someone else for a ride back".
Granted I could say this because she wasn't my significant other, but if she was what can I do?? How do you deal with naggers?
You did it just right ....
True story,
I used to work with a guy who had an understanding with his wife. She was allowed to nag him and he was allowed to berate her.
So one day she is getting on his case about how he never compliments her on anything...
Wife:
"You never compliment me on anything. You never say this is a great dinner honey or I did a really nice job decorating the house. Or you really look nice today dear or you're really a great mom for the kids. You never have a single compliment for me." ... yada yada yada
Friend: (and you'd have to know him for the full effect, kind of like Jackie Gleason)
"Ok, all rite, You want a compliment! How about this
YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT BROAD!"
I about died laughing.
I used to work with a guy who had an understanding with his wife. She was allowed to nag him and he was allowed to berate her.
So one day she is getting on his case about how he never compliments her on anything...
Wife:
"You never compliment me on anything. You never say this is a great dinner honey or I did a really nice job decorating the house. Or you really look nice today dear or you're really a great mom for the kids. You never have a single compliment for me." ... yada yada yada
Friend: (and you'd have to know him for the full effect, kind of like Jackie Gleason)
"Ok, all rite, You want a compliment! How about this
YOU DON'T SWEAT MUCH FOR A FAT BROAD!"
I about died laughing.
My fiancee and I (together 3.65 years now) have an understanding when it comes to directions. The person in the passenger seat is absolutely responsible for calling the turns, and the person driving is absolutely responsible for following them. Expletives are absolutely permitted, but not to criticize the other. An example is "Snap, that was the turn back there, please turn us around."
To address the nagging, we talk about what's wrong, and how to fix it. Then we both make compromises, and discuss again if it's not working. Of course, this is usually after a knock-down drag-out war of words, being careful to attack the other person's actions only. Certainly cuts down on nagging!
In the OP's case, she's not attached to him, so her nagging got the right response. Find someone else to nag.
To address the nagging, we talk about what's wrong, and how to fix it. Then we both make compromises, and discuss again if it's not working. Of course, this is usually after a knock-down drag-out war of words, being careful to attack the other person's actions only. Certainly cuts down on nagging!
In the OP's case, she's not attached to him, so her nagging got the right response. Find someone else to nag.
Originally Posted By: tonycarguy
Granted I could say this because she wasn't my significant other, but if she was what can I do?? How do you deal with naggers?
Pull over right then and there, and tell her to knock it off or get out and walk. Seriously.
Granted I could say this because she wasn't my significant other, but if she was what can I do?? How do you deal with naggers?
Pull over right then and there, and tell her to knock it off or get out and walk. Seriously.
Tell her she's fat. Garanteed silence.
My wife advises that is not good advise....
To be honest I don't know..my wife is sitting here watching me post and I am afraid to get her started...Sorry
My wife advises that is not good advise....
To be honest I don't know..my wife is sitting here watching me post and I am afraid to get her started...Sorry
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Kestas
Staff member
I believe any clinical psychologist will tell you that you can't stop a person from nagging (i.e., can't control another person's behavior). What is important is how you react to the person's nagging, and what you do about it. Some good advice in the above posts.
wait for HER to make a mistake and then nag the [censored] outta HER!!
seriously - i think IMMEDIATE pointing out that SHE gave crummy directions (or insert other specific mistake here) and THAT caused you to miss the turn -, IOW, point out that her nagging is BASELESS, and that SHE caused the situation, and not you - would get best results.
explaining this is in a monotone but calm voice like talking to a 5 yr old while not losing your composure makes the offenders feel embarrassed about themselves, and that's my usual way of dealing with (unfair) naggers; i make sure that i have the nagger's full attn before I do it though: "Um, ok, [name], - Can I say something now, if you're finished?" in an icy but calm, slow, almost eerie voice (i trained myself during a 3 yr relationship with one of my ex GF's) usually gets naggers' attn and respect.
seriously - i think IMMEDIATE pointing out that SHE gave crummy directions (or insert other specific mistake here) and THAT caused you to miss the turn -, IOW, point out that her nagging is BASELESS, and that SHE caused the situation, and not you - would get best results.
explaining this is in a monotone but calm voice like talking to a 5 yr old while not losing your composure makes the offenders feel embarrassed about themselves, and that's my usual way of dealing with (unfair) naggers; i make sure that i have the nagger's full attn before I do it though: "Um, ok, [name], - Can I say something now, if you're finished?" in an icy but calm, slow, almost eerie voice (i trained myself during a 3 yr relationship with one of my ex GF's) usually gets naggers' attn and respect.
Tell her it's a safety device.
http://www.shanmonster.com/witch/torture/brank.html
http://www.shanmonster.com/witch/torture/brank.html
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Originally Posted By: expat
Tell her it's a safety device.
http://www.shanmonster.com/witch/torture/brank.html
..and they make great gifts for the holidays!
Tell her it's a safety device.
http://www.shanmonster.com/witch/torture/brank.html
..and they make great gifts for the holidays!
If you find out, please let us know.
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For married guys: Nagging is a product of her selecting a mate under the idea she could change him.
Furthermore....
She will try the entire time to get the man to change, He will try the entire time to get the woman not to change...
The silent treatment almost always works, nagging needs feedback as fuel to continue, otherwise it dies pretty quick.
Google "Superbowl '04: Budweiser Nagging Wife"...for a how-to.
She will try the entire time to get the man to change, He will try the entire time to get the woman not to change...
The silent treatment almost always works, nagging needs feedback as fuel to continue, otherwise it dies pretty quick.
Google "Superbowl '04: Budweiser Nagging Wife"...for a how-to.
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