A Redneck Wins the Lottery

[dwendt44]

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.

He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number.

The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."

To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that way."

"We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The Redneck said, "I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it."

Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!"

 

[jldcol]

Cute, and he was not aware of the lump sum payment option.

 

[ViragoBry]

Pffttt...can you really blame him? Who could live on a million a year?? LOL

 

[jldcol]

Yeah, and after taxes maybe less than 500k, why bother.

 

[Footpounds]

Hey! Why does the redneck have to be from Texas?? ha ha

 

[oilboy123]

Nice that the lottery makes all the money up front but pays you back on time payments. How convenient........

 

[ViragoBry]

Not if you opt for 'cash value' option...which vastly reduces the total take-home for the lucky winner. They bend you over GOOD for wanting it all up front.

 

[TallPaul]

This sounds more like a Blonde joke.

 

[javacontour]

Yet knowing fully those rules and the odds against payouts, folks still play the lottery.

Perhaps instead of blond jokes, we should substitute lottery player.

I.E. what's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? The line of folks waiting their turn to buy a powerball ticket.

The Lottery, a tax on those bad at math.

 

[ViragoBry]

well, SOMEONE'S gonna win. It's worth $1 to me to increase my odds from 0 to 1 in 100,000,000

 

[javacontour]

Sure, someone's going to win. Only about 1/2 of what is paid into the pool is used for winnings, and the odds of hitting the big prize are insanely small.

http://www.powerball.com/powerball/pb_prizes.asp

The odds of winning ANY sort of prize are 1:35

The odds of winning the powerball are 1:195Million.

 

[ksJoe]

When you think about it, its a great way to level the tax code.

Generally (though certainly not always) there is a correlation between income and intelligence.

So while lotteries are a "stupid tax" they also perform reasonably well as a "poor tax".

So... anyone irked by our progressive tax code, and entitlement programs, should be a firm supporter of lotteries

Personally, I'm opposed to the gambling because of its impact on the poor & ignorant.

But whenever I see gambling topics come up in the local news, I'm tempted to write a tongue in cheek letter supporting them on the basis they level the tax code, and give the money back to the people who know how to handle it. Basically, write up a highly non-PC rant with the goal of making gambling supporters feel guilty.

 

[Shannow]

I like the concepts of lotteries, when they are a voluntary tax to pay for infrastructure etc.

I actually buy lottery tickets a half dozen times per year, when the prize pool is over $15M (my arbitrary cost/benefit line).

By buying a ticket, I've infinitely increased my chances of winning over not buying...probability is assymptotically closing on zero, but still not zero.

 

[Shannow]

Speaking of Asses, this reminds me of another joke, of a guy who sells a Donkey, and the bloke that buys it.

A drunk, in dire need of a night out offers his only possession, a donkey, up for sale...$100.

Young bloke plonks down $100, and goes home with a donkey.

Wakes up in the morning, and the donkey's dead.

Takes it back to the seller, and tells him that the donkey died, and he wants his money back...drunk explains that the money was spent as soon as it came in, and that there was no money left.

No probs says the guy, "I'll just raffle it".

A few days later, the drunk runs across the guy and asks how the raffle went.

"Pretty good, I sold the tickets for $1 each...sold $200 tickets".

Drunk asks what the winner thought when he found out that the donkey was dead.

"He demanded a refund."

 

[Pablo]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
I like the concepts of lotteries, when they are a voluntary tax to pay for infrastructure etc.

I actually buy lottery tickets a half dozen times per year, when the prize pool is over $15M (my arbitrary cost/benefit line).

By buying a ticket, I've infinitely increased my chances of winning over not buying...probability is assymptotically closing on zero, but still not zero.


So if you buy two tickets does that double your chance of winning?

 

[Shannow]

Yeah, but you are playing in the assymptote at that point, not the infinitely better range.

 

[Pablo]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
Yeah, but you are playing in the assymptote at that point, not the infinitely better range.


Exactly - but sometimes the confusion laid on people is priceless when they give me the "I improved my odds by buying a ticket" and I say,"...dude, you should have bought two...it improves your odds..." and they say "Yeah wow my odds would have doubled...." and of course I say "It doesn't work that way...."

Oh yeah it's asymptote....butt maybe downunder uses ss

 

[Shannow]

State govt wants to sell off the lottery.

Makes them $400-$450M p.a. they want $1,000M for it.

 

[jmac]

Originally Posted By: Shannow
State govt wants to sell off the lottery.

Makes them $400-$450M p.a. they want $1,000M for it.


Sounds good to me, think they would front me a loan for that?

I mean, if they are that stupid, why not?

 

[Shannow]

Previous version of the same mob sold a power station in a leasing arrangement.

99 year lease, no repayments, they were calculated from the financingg charges and tax breaks etc.

$2B asset "sold" for $270M.