First update:
The new hoops got delivered, and as luck would have it my shop was quiet today. Mounted a fresh set of Kumho LX Platinum's, which I bumped from the OE 215/60R16 to a 225/60R16. What a difference! The rear struts are still an issue, but man does a fresh set of rubber feel.... secure.
While I've owned my fair share of "project" cars, I can't recall the last time I purchased something that was wearing rubber requiring such immediate attention. The same can't be said this round...
The new Kumho's replaced a combination of 3 "Federal" brand tires, DOT 2008 and one Goodyear TripleTread from 2014. To say they were dangerous is an understatement.... from the dry rot to the tread separation to 3 year old flat spots.
2 of the 4 wheels have bends, unfortunately. Nothing that affects the bead, and the worst offender is masked by the fact that it's tweaked on the inner lip only. To my surprise, both balanced out with less than 1.5oz of weight. I plan on having the rims stripped bare at some point, after which I'll refurbish them myself. The '91 models wear a unique, one year only rim design that wasn't shared with any other GM vehicle.
Wheels aside, I investigated and cured both the lack of HVAC mode selection and the lack of constant 12v to the radio. The climate control was an easy reconnection of an under hood vacuum line, and the radio was my own fault. I had initially checked the wrong fuse... upon further inspection, the CORRECT fuse was in fact blown.
Last, but perhaps most concerning: the front bumper. At first glance, it presented as no more than a light smack against a pole. Long story short... I'm thankful the dang thing didn't fall off on the drive home! To paint everyone a picture: think 6 of 8 bolts missing, the 2 remaining being barely threaded. Not just barely threaded, but threaded into speed nuts that for SOME reason had been installed backwards. It took a fair amount of tweaking, but I got everything *mostly* secured.