Search results

It says you live in Denver, take your dog to "Planned Pethood Plus" clinic. Lookup Dr. Jeff Young on google.

A North Korean traveled to England on business. He was asked, "How's life in North Korea?" "Can't complain," he said.

A guy is reading his newspaper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to...

In desperation, a man called the Paranoia Hotline. A voice on the other end said, "How the [censored] did you get this number?"

A man asked his wife what special gift she wanted for her 40th birthday. She said, "Something to run around in would be nice." So he bought her a jogging suit.

A blonde and a redhead were sitting together having drinks, when the blonde noticed a man walking towards them with an arm full of long stem red roses. The blonde says to the redhead, "Isn't that your husband coming carrying all those roses?" The redhead says, "Yes it is." The blonde responds...

A man confided in his friend. "I told my wife last night that my ultimate fantasy was to have a threesome." "How did she react?" asked the friend. "She was actually okay with it until I told her it didn't involve her."

It's 4 AM when a driver approaches a stop sign, slows down, determines it's clear and goes on through it without stopping. He is immediately pulled over and explains to the Officer that the intersection was still clear whether he just slowed down or stopped. So what is the difference? The...

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife instantaneously...

A blonde city girl named Sue marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher said to Sue, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. "Please...

A man said to his stupid friend, “I am thinking about getting a dog.” “What kind of dog?” asked the friend. “A Labrador Retriever.” “No, you don’t want to get one of those,” said the friend shaking his head. “Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?”

Doctor: Have you ever given yourself a prostate examination? Patient: Not deliberately, but sometimes my wife buys cheap toilet paper!

Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How...

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of senior citizens down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. About 15 minutes later, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another...

The Pope flew into NYC to address the UN. His limo driver takes off and the Pope needs him to go faster in order to make it to the meeting on time. The Pope is not happy with the limo driver and tells him to pull over so the Pope can drive. They take off again with the Pope behind the wheel and...

LOL, DBMASTER!

What award does the "Dentist of the Year" receive? A little plaque.

One year there was a season when the Army and Navy football teams were not scheduled to play each other. It seemed so unusual that the coaches of both academies got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams because of their great rivalry. They...

U. S. Army Vietnam Combat Veteran 1969-70, Americal Division.

Our deepest sympathies to you and yours for the loss of your beloved wife!